To not understand why you'd boast about a natural childbirth?

[HolaGuapo]

A colleague of mine had a baby girl this morning.
Long backstory with the colleague but to cut it short - she's very strange, everything is always about her (constantly) and how much money etc she has and a couple of people at work have said things along the lines of she's a bit of a narcissist. Her life seems to be one constant, long drama (she's bragged about the fact that she tricked her ex into getting her pregnant and then at 30 weeks was engaged to a guy she'd known 2 weeks and he is apparently taking the baby on as his own) and she lies about a lot of things.

So I went on Facebook, saw she'd posted 'DD born this morning, weighs x' etc. at the end of the status she put 'no pain relief used except a tiny bit of gas and air. So proud of myself'. I commented congratulations, and she replied saying 'thanks, I'm so amazed, I can't believe i did it with only a small amount of gas and air, so proud of myself for not needing anything else'. Scrolling up I saw everyone who had congratulated had also had this kind of reply.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first and I have a low pain threshold so know I will need some sort of pain relief. However, even if I didn't, I wouldn't be boasting about how much (or how little) pain relief I'd used!
AIBU to just not understand why you'd boast about this?

It's incredibly insensitive thing to boast about. I think the only response is "lucky you".

I find it bizarre too

My only conclusion is that she is an attention seeker ... and not a very good one at that, as she'd have recieved more sympathy etc if she'd have listed all the harsh things that (didn't ) happened to her!

I think that when women do this, its because they really did want pain relief but for any number of reasons don't

Even if she wasn't an ego-centric boaster, she's proud of something she's done. What's the big deal?

When you have given birth, you, too, may feel proud of your achievement. And whether or not you used PR is nobody else's business but yours. You may end up using nothing, and feeling proud, or using the whole lot, and still feeling proud of your achievement. Good for you!

MInd you, her reaction to your birth story in a few months time will tell you a lot about her. If she slates you or tries to make you feel bad about using PR, ignore ignore ignore.

She always has to be 'the best' at everything IYSWIM. Apparently this also extends to giving birth!

It doesn't come across as boasting, to me. I think she's entitled to feel pleased and relieved that she didn't need much intervention, as an epidural etc can often be the stepping stone to increasing levels of intervention, if you end up flat on your back, with the longer recovery from the birth for mother and baby that can entail.

It's not a dig at you, you know. Birth is hard work, physically and emotionally and I don't think it's helpful for women to be criticising each other for getting through the process, however they did it.

Perhaps nobody's told her that childbirth is not competitive, and everybody gets the same boobieprize at the end.

Annoys me.

The fact that I gave birth artificially annoys me.

But more than all of that annoyance combined is that I tried gas and air, and either that or the pain from the artificial labour made me throw up a lovely dinner and a few chocolates. I will never eat minstrels again. I might go post on Facebook about it actually, a few tearful emoticons, see how many 'aww hun so sad 4 u hugz xxxxxxxx' I can get.

She's just had a baby, she's probably on a massive high at the moment so just say congratulations and leave it at that.

in two weeks she will be hallucinating with exhaustion and way less smug

I would not care.

"Well done you" and that's it.

I had the full epidural, it was lovely, I recommend it!

I don't feel jealous of women who did not have pain relief, just grateful I made a different decision myself. Their birth, their choice.

I still feel really really proud anyway, after the birth I felt like SuperWoman, I was on some kind of weird high (the birth or the drugs?! hmmm) .

Your friend is probably on some kind of crazy high too, then you come crashing down for a few days (my doc said all this is normal, baby blues 3 days after birth, where your body rearranges its hormones!).

So be kind, she has been taken over by hormones

I don't think that there is anything wrong with being pleased and proud that labour went smoothly. There is nothing wrong with needing help, or choosing an elective, or any of the other myriad ways we give birth. But if you wanted a natural birth with minimal pain relief I don't see anything wrong with being pleased that that happened.

I do think it's odd to plaster it all over Facebook. And rather insenstive. But some people seem to post without a brain filter.

She's proud that she managed with only gas and air and I don't see why she shouldn't be!

Most women go into labour wishing for as natural a labour with little intervention possible. If that's achieved, as it was in my case (considering I started off from a high risk position), it's normal to be proud. I certainly was!

I don't get it either. You wouldn't have a tooth out without anaesthetic and then say "wow didn't I do well" afterwards. People would think you were mad.

Fine if people don't want pain relief, but we are very lucky to have it. Very lucky indeed.

I chose to have a c section with my second child due to birth trauma. It was wonderful. Far more "natural" in terms of my bonding and enjoying the experience than my 3 day vaginal birth with dd!

Welll I had a natural home birth on gas and air and it was shit brutal and traumatic, my friend always has elcs and she is happier less tired and seems to bounce back much much faster. so to your friend she is probably happy as it wasn't as bad as she had feared, well bully for her its usually random how these things happen

It's luck. I have very high pain threshold (my orthopaedic surgeon describes me as hard core), but I had a horrible birth and ended up weeping and begging for an epidural.

Hmmm.... perhaps she thought she'd be screaming for an epidural and was pleased/proud that she managed without? I don't think it's a particularly odd thing to be pleased about. And it makes no difference to you either way, does it really?

If you wanted to get snippy you could point out that using gas means she didn't actually have a natural birth in the strictest sense... but who cares really? Let it go.

Maybe she's proud of herself?

I was proud of myself for having a VBAC nearly two years ago. Recently I looked at the Facebook birth announcement post I did and I wondered WTF I was thinking! But I was feeling so proud of myself and thought EVERYONE should know this wondrous thing I did!

I wouldn't mind that at all. Let her have her boast.

Having a baby in any way is an achievement, she's right to be proud of what she's done. She probably feels she can climb a mountain with the high she's gotten from the achievement. It's alright to be proud of what we've done and by boasting or whatever it's not always a dig at other people.

I think alot of women are proud of the way tjey gave birth. Certinally in my experience anyway. I was tereified of having ds and I thought I managed pretty well considering some of the xomplications I was up against.
Thats not boasting or being attention seeking. I am genuinley proud of myself for it. It was something I was worried about and I manged to overcome it. I dont rhinkthat makes me special or any better than any other mum, and certinally wouldnt discuss it on facebook. But thats just my opinion.
I think its good to feel proud of yourself about things youve done. Better than putting yourself down all the time.
Saying that every birth is different, so it could come across as a bit gloaty and make others feel bad who didnt gwt the birth they wanted.
Just congratulate and then talk no more about it. She does sound a bit of a pain.

YANBU

I think we should try and find alternative things to brag about for each different type of birth.

I had an emcs with no pushing and things conspired to mean breast-feeding never happened.

Every now and then I am tempted to 'brag' that both my fanjo and breasts remain in a pristine, pre-baby state

Oh dear. If i were you i'd give this woman a wide berth if she gets your heckles up.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Don't worry about your labour too much. I was petrified like you and a friend of mine said to me 'your body will know what to do' and 'walk through each contraction' - there is no pain or discomfort in between.

There are no brownie points for having 'natural labour' people who think they are are twats.

There was a time before modern medicine where women and children used to die for godsake! People fucking forget about that!

My labour..on paper...was hard, but you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. The midwives were lovely and i have a beautiful DD. 1 month on, 'm happy and health and so is she. My body did know what to do and luckily so did all the midwives and doctors that also helped.

1. I cannot understand people facebooking their freshly newborn baby.

2. who gives a shiney shite about whether anyone has gas and air/diamorphine/ a c section/ ventose/ forcepts.

3)this woman is a bit sad really. A colleague of my husbands did exactly the same, updated all the details of her 'fabulous' childbirth experience and the photo was on facebook within 10 minute of the birth.

Is nothing sacred anymore, no moment special enough just to take before it becomes public?

OOhh you've got me on a rant!!

Congratulations again..

To be honest I don't think anyone can say anything about pain relief in labour without someone getting their back up. If someone has the whole drugs, epidural thing then some folk will look down their nose at them....and if you do it on nothing but gas & air others will get a bit sniffy with you. I wouldn't read too much into it....