DH and I have been married for 18 months. No DC. We live overseas, and our families live at different ends of our home country (300 miles apart). Last year we spent Christmas with my parents and siblings (big family), and went to visit PIL for a few days after Christmas, and then came back to our own house for New Year.
The question arises of what to do for this Christmas. I realise that it is probably reasonable to expect to 'take turns' and spent Christmas with PIL.
But.
I feel incredibly uncomfortable in PIL's house, and have never spent the night there (never been invited, and there isn't really room: only a spare box room). They basically do not know how to have people in their home, and never have visitors. They also do not have the best of relationships, and things are strained and awkward at times.
On previous occasions when we were visiting we stayed in a hotel, which we can't afford this year. DH has one sister, who is married (lives near to PIL) and has just had a beautiful baby girl. Last year we stayed with SIL and her husband, and were treated appallingly - not even offered a cup of tea, and basically ignored the whole time. I don't think they even got up to see us out. I said that I would never stay in that house again, and even if they hadn't had a baby, I don't think I would. So that's out.
My parents are incredibly hospitable, and would love to have us for Christmas again. They are not, though, pressurising us in any way, and will be happy with whatever we decide. DH has said he doesn't want to put me through Christmas in his parents house, and that me being there would make it even more difficult for him as he would be worrying/fretting about how uncomfortable I was all the time. He sort of wants us to go to our own parents for Christmas, but I am not happy with this.
So, AIBU to want to do what we did last year? Or is that terribly mean?