to still be angry that someone was horrible about my mum 30 years ago?

[adishbestservedcold]

Ok, this is a nc, will try to be brief.

At middle school I had a 'friend' (let's call her L) who was a bit bitchy. Her mother (a thumping snob) said things about my mum that L repeated to me, with relish. I went home and asked mum what a 'streetwalker' was and she was really hurt and upset. We were poor, L's family were relatively rich and mum was really sensitive about it all.

Had a trip down memory lane recently and took my dds on a walk there with my parents. Mum mentioned the insults when we walked past L's old house, laughing about it (but rather bitterly).

30 years on Dsis and I are doctors, Db1 a successful research chemist and Db2 a journalist.

In an idle moment I googled L and nearly spat out my coffee. She is now a pornographer, having her own company that streams porn to mobiles. I hate porn/exploitation of women. There's a bit of me that really wants to email L and tell her how fucking disgusting she is and how ironic the way things have turned out.

I know I should just quietly be glad that I'm better than her and I'm slim and she's fat, I've got lovely kids and she lives with cats and dogs.

But I still hate her and what her mum said about mine (who is a lovely person) and it's so tempting!

Jeez, so much back peddling here I can almost smell burning rubber....

You mean pedalling

Thanks very much to everyone who has contributed to this thread. I am leaving now x

A good person can have an immoral career. A good person can be overweight. A good person can be childless. A good person can be all of these 3 things.

A bad person can have a very moral career, be slim and have children.

How strange to judge how great a person is by their career choice, weight or whether they have children.

I work in a minimum wage job, am slightly overweight and a single parent to 2 children, both by different fathers.

Does that make you a better person than me? Or does it just mean you have a better career than me, and different circs.

Tbh, I can't remember what anyone said about my mother 30 years ago, and I'm surprised your mother even mentioned it, let alone bitterly laughed. I'm actually surprised either of you mentioned it, and to start a thread about it??

candy I think a discussion about the morality (lack of) in porn is way more important than hurt feelings because some of us may be overweight and own cats. I'm fat, does that make my opinions valid here?

As the OP has wisely decided to exit, I'm off too. I need to feed my cat...

LOL at being told off for being offended. FWIW, I've been so underweight, I was hospitalised and very overweight but mostly, I've been sat at the lower end of normal weight. I didn't act like a superior arse and thinking I was better because I could get my arse in size 8s.

Well if the OP thinks she is superior to L because of the jobs they do, she is deluded. L is obviously a successful businesswoman. And OP is unbelievably bitter.

I do think she's morally superior to her, even if not financially.

Yeah, you fat fuckers, would you ever stop being offended? All she said was you are not as good as her because you're fatter than her. Fucks sake, chill out, go eat a cake or something.

What she said was clearly horrible but YABU to still be upset about it.
When I was at primary someone made up lies and said my mum was having an affair. It caused me massive upset at the time particularly as this girl also spread the rumours round. As it happened my mum was going to see her dying father but this girl said she was seeing a bloke. Whilst I can think back and remember the upset it caused I'm not still angry or bitter about it. It was 30 yrs ago and I have better things to think about.

Ok so most people think being a doctor is a better job than a pornographer but really, being a doctor does make you a better person as you can see by this thread!

I know the OP has left but I don't think her job as a doctor makes her any better than someone else who is an accountant/sailor/pornographer.

I don't have a problem with porn but if we believe that women in porn have a tough time and are abused, then gloating that you are a better person certainly doesn't make you a nicer person.

I do have sympathy for your mum though, to remember those hurtful words after so long obviously never left her. And I feel sorry for you as a 12 year old asking your mum. Just be happy that you are happy in your choices. Comparing yourself to other people is journey in futility.