To think that if Hell was a cafe...

[beepoff]

... The only tea it would serve would be the discusting Lapsang Souchong?

Served in chipped novelty mugs.

Accompanied by crumbly, not sweet-enough, flaccid flapjacks which fall apart when touched.

shudder

Actually I wonder whether it might make good business sense to open Cafe Hell. Any time someone is told to "go to hell" they might then take it literally...

The drink of the day (every day) would be a Chai latte, served nice and tepid, extra strong, extra frothy.

I have experienced café hell, hence my recent name change.

Oh Costa were you the 'crappucino' lady?

Oh yes, nice sticky tables and floor.
Filthy toilets.