Am I being unreasonable to confront this woman?

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

for those of you who don't know I wear a face veil usually a patterned scarf to avoid sticking out so much lol. point is I expect the odd comments maybe groans as I work past in my honour of course.

But two times now this senior lady I'd say in her 60s or more unprovoked loudly made comments at me. The first time she said" why are you wearing that" I was walking past with my twin buggy to supermarket, I thght she was incredibly rude. Had she said excuse me and proceeded to ask me a question in a normal tone I wouldn't have been miffed. Still I kept my cool said religious reasons as I walked away. I didn't want a conversation I don't see why I should explain when she was so rude.

yet today I see her again shouting across the road at me this time." No need to wear that take it off". Today I would say she looked aggressive or perhaps it was my eyes deceiving me. My toddler was with me she looked distressed said" mummy whys that lady shouting". I said "she's prob ill like your gran never mind her."

Should I confront her if this happens again? I'm not an aggressive person quite a walkover and not much confidence but I think it can't be ignored its like harassment.

I dread to think ill pass her again if I pop out she's always on the same route as me, yet why should I dread her.

Granted she doesn't like my dress neither does my brother, I'm not harming her in anyway. one sibling said I shouldn't confront her in case she goes to the police. But that's insane what reason would she have to go to the police i would simply tell her to get off my case. How would she like it if I told her to change her dress for something more acceptable to me. She's not the fashion police or the law.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

AdventureTed, well, if it was me I would have jammed you profusely. Dog poo all over my clothes- anyone who steps in and points it would be doing me a huge favour. The lady should have thanked you, I agree. But because she didn't, it doesn't mean others now have a right to dictate what she should and shouldn't wear.

SM, I also agree that the veil should be removed at airports when checking identity, in court to verify identity and when teaching a class. I do however, feel that students should be allowed to wear it, especially in universities where young people are going through an exploration phase and like to experiment in different ideogies, religions, movement and stances and I wouldn't want to inhibit that freedom of expression that is part of growing up.

In most other situations though, a woman has a right to wear what she wants as long as its not offensive. That tolerance and the right to stand up for human rights is what British values are about and what makes Great Britain so great. If you don't like these values, then by all means move somewhere where they suppress these values. Unfortunately, many majority Muslim countries would fit the bill too.

Of course I'm trying prove a point. Isn't that what debates are for? If you tie people up in knots with a question they cannot or will not answer doesn't that usually mean you've won?

I gave a range of potential outcomes and locations in the hypothetical market scenario, one of which was being spat at, one of which was Egypt. Don't try to imply that I think most Egyptian people would spit at western women who don't cover. That is just lazy.

The point I am still banging on about, was I hope, made in my last post.

Of course it is my right to alienate/offend whomever I choose, as it is their right to feel alienated or offended, and to tell me so, should they feel the need.

No, of course I don't condone spitting at people, and I don't even condone yelling at people in the street - I can think of very few circumstances where I would yell at anyone, and certainly not in the circumstance described in the OP. But I am not everybody. Some people are less inhibited when it comes to expressing their annoyance at people not conforming to cultural norms. Luckily, in the UK they are rarely as uninhibited at expressing their annoyance as the men in Zanzibar who threw acid in the faces of two uncovered British girls recently.

Diet - I'm just pointing out the obvious - it's a barrier to communication.

I have had to deal face to face with fully covered women many, many times in the line of duty. It has always been in a noisy, public environment with lots of background noise and my hearing is not what it was. It's an absolute pain in the neck trying to hear/understand them clearly, let me tell you. It gets really embarrassing having to ask them to repeat every sentence three times. But hey, that's my problem, clearly, even though they need information from me.

Another thing - am I simply not supposed to care that there has been a spate of child abduction attempts where I live? Anyone can hide their identity.

And I don't need a hearing aid, before anyone suggests it. I just need to be able to see someone's face.

So SM, you just wanted to debate a point so you can say you won? Okay, sweetie. If it makes you happy- you win. :)

You need to see someone's face when talking to them and you obviously can't se mine here, (unless I turn my webcam on) so I'll be on my way.

We actually agreed on many points actually but because you only wanted a debate, you kept playing games and going round in circles.

Trying to distract with talking about visiting Oman isn't working. The OP isn't in Oman,and neither are you. This isn't about Oman, it is about the UK.

And arguing that people should change their clothes and religious practices because you are a bit deaf is even dafter.

That is not the main reason Peppi - it's just one element of why I find it alienating and awkward.

I don't think I am trying to distract with straw man arguments at all - I think everything I've said is very relevant.

Are you a Muslim Peppi?

And now Ted is making some tenuous link to child abduction attempts? Wth?

I think some people here have derailed this thread to talk about their own agenda that has very little to do with the OP's situation.

Yes, Sub, why you find it alienating and awkward.

You - so your problem.

I think we know the score, Subliminal. You don't like it, and you think that because you don't like it, people should stop doing it.

There are a lot of things I don't like. Dogs. Rude people. Bad manners. Shouting in the street. Religious intolerance. Chewing gum. I'd really like them all to go away. But for now, I don't run the world and nobody cares what I don't like. You see my point?

YouTheCat - every child is in danger, muslim ones included. We've had letters from school and there is a warning in the paper.

No, I don't. Are you a muslim Peppi?

Why does it matter? Do you want to inspect my clothing to see if you need to shout at me?

And actually, I dislike it and feel threatened by it much, much less than you might imagine. I just understand people who dislike and feel threatened by it more.

YouTheCat It is getting more and more bizarre

It would be interesting to understand what shapes your POV and I want to ask you a question.

Murder - it is wrong to ignore an obvious security issue where children's safety is concerned.

So Ted, this is a bunch of veil wearing Muslim women going round abducting children near you is it?

I don't think its relevant. I don't wear a veil of any kind, I will say that.

I understand people who dislike it and are threatened by it. That doesn't mean I excuse them from a) basic manners and b) tolerance of other faiths and cultures.

Your feelings, their feelings, thats up to you. It does not and should not have any affect on people going about their business innocently.

Well in theory it could be a non- muslim man going around trying to abduct children. The point is, who can tell?

Is it an obvious safety issue? Are the warnings about people wearing the veil abducting children?

They would stand out far more than anyone else almost anywhere and it would be a terrible disguise.
not least for the attention drawn by those shouting at them for wearing a veil.

Cat -You have obviously never had to deal with the security problems posed by multiple individuals concealing their identities.