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Am I being unreasonable to confront this woman?

3 replies

justanuthermanicmumsday · 19/09/2013 01:33

for those of you who don't know I wear a face veil usually a patterned scarf to avoid sticking out so much lol. point is I expect the odd comments maybe groans as I work past in my honour of course.

But two times now this senior lady I'd say in her 60s or more unprovoked loudly made comments at me. The first time she said" why are you wearing that" I was walking past with my twin buggy to supermarket, I thght she was incredibly rude. Had she said excuse me and proceeded to ask me a question in a normal tone I wouldn't have been miffed. Still I kept my cool said religious reasons as I walked away. I didn't want a conversation I don't see why I should explain when she was so rude.

yet today I see her again shouting across the road at me this time." No need to wear that take it off". Today I would say she looked aggressive or perhaps it was my eyes deceiving me. My toddler was with me she looked distressed said" mummy whys that lady shouting". I said "she's prob ill like your gran never mind her."

Should I confront her if this happens again? I'm not an aggressive person quite a walkover and not much confidence but I think it can't be ignored its like harassment.

I dread to think ill pass her again if I pop out she's always on the same route as me, yet why should I dread her.

Granted she doesn't like my dress neither does my brother, I'm not harming her in anyway. one sibling said I shouldn't confront her in case she goes to the police. But that's insane what reason would she have to go to the police i would simply tell her to get off my case. How would she like it if I told her to change her dress for something more acceptable to me. She's not the fashion police or the law.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

RowanMumsnet · 20/09/2013 10:37

Hello,

We've had quite a few reports about this thread and we've deleted a few posts. This is (understandably) a hot-button topic at the moment so we thought we'd explain our thinking, in terms of what we do and don't delete on these sorts of threads.

Generally speaking, posts that express strong feelings about items of clothing (ie the veil, head coverings, hijab and so on) are fine - so long as the opinion is confined to the clothing, not to the wearer.

Similarly, when it comes to religion, we're fine with criticism of the religion itself, but we're not fine with generalised pejorative statements about any religion's followers.

So, to use a made-up example: 'The Jedi religion has always struck me as misogynist' - fine. 'Jedis are misogynists', or 'Jedis collude in the abuse of women and children' - not fine.

We know that some of you may see this as a semantic point, but in the particular context of this debate - and at a time when the police believe that attacks on Muslims are on the rise - we'd really like to keep this debate constructive.

It's can be a fine judgement, though, and I'm sure we'll make the wrong call now and then, do forgive us for that. As ever we welcome your thoughts.

Thanks
MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 20/09/2013 12:34

@Succubi

One my posts was deleted and I am at an absolute loss as to why. I have asked Mumsnet to clarify.

For the avoidance of doubt I am Muslim and I find the veil/chadoor/headscarf deeply offensive.

Apologies Succubi - yours shouldn't have been deleted. We've reinstated it now.

RowanMumsnet · 20/09/2013 12:55

PeppiNephrine yours were deleted for containing personal attacks. We can't really explain fully here (because we don't want to re-post the attacks) but if you mail in to [email protected] we'll talk you through it.

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