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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just been really upset by someone, AIB too sensitive?

180 replies

whyrpplsonasty · 18/09/2013 15:53

So I was just at an induction and was to be fair, probably the oldest one there so the rest of them tended to congregate together and only one made the effort to include me. Not a problem.

But one of the women/girls kept looking at me and sniggering. I told myself I was being paranoid but it was becomming really obvious. Her friend then looked over and looked back at her to ask what she was laughing at. The girl then whispered (honestly) something to her and they both burst out laughing Shock. I let it go but I was starting to get a bit upset and angry at this point. Minutes later the girl came over to me and said "sorry about before, I wasn't laughing at you, it was something else." I just said "ok no worries" and she then pulled out her mobile and said "do you mind if I take a quick picture of you? I'll delete it afterwards." I asked what for and she said she'd text her boyfriend to say I really looked like Peter Griffin and he didn't believe her so had asked for a photo.

I told her she was offending me and asked her to leave me alone or I'd report her. She was sweet as pie from there on but I feel so down now. I'm home now and I can't get it out of my head. I'll be working with her next week too which just makes it even worse.

Sorry for the namechange but I am embarrassed by it all. :(

OP posts:
LazyMonkeyButler · 18/09/2013 16:29

What was the induction for? I had a 3 day induction for my current job (Community Care) and the other candidates were mainly young women.

If it is a similar setting, then I would say she is quite possibly unsuitable for the job.

Rude at the very least. I am Angry on your behalf!

TheCrackFox · 18/09/2013 16:30

What a fucking cow!!

Please report her. If it was an induction at my place of work they would immediately sack her.

Lilacroses · 18/09/2013 16:31

What an absolute cow. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and are now worrying about working with her. I think I would report her, her behaviour iscrude beyond belief.

hellsbellsmelons · 18/09/2013 16:33

I often think it's astounding how hiddeous some people can be but this one really takes the Biscuit
Unbelievable what some people consider to be OK.
You know it's not OK so make sure you report her nasty bitchy arse ASAP!
I know it's hard to do but please don't let her get to you.
She's a prize twat who will have no friends later in life when they all realise what she is like.
Head high and trip her up next time you see her.
I'm so Angry for you!

spindlyspindler · 18/09/2013 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AdventureTed · 18/09/2013 16:34

She is a prat. This is no reflection on you, but says everything about her.

Be grateful you are nothing like her! She sounds insecure and so desperate for cheap laughs at other people's expense. What a loser.

RacheyMo2 · 18/09/2013 16:35

YANBU, that is such a rude thing to say! The girl is clearly arrogant and immature!! I would definitely report her because if she can speak to you that way, she can speak to customers/service users etc in the same manner!!
Sorry to hear its upset you but you sound like you're doing a fab job dieting! Xx

CbeebiesIsMyLife · 18/09/2013 16:36

I was thinking how horrible, then I googled him. Beyond furious on your behalf. She was so obviously trying to be offensive and rude. Well done for sticking up for yourself and I'd bet anything you look nothing like him but he is game playing as she thinks your experience make you better at your job.
Think about reporting and be iceily pleasant to her when you work with her.
That is just not on.

lizzzyyliveson · 18/09/2013 16:37

If you are likely to be working with vulnerable people, please do report her. She might not ask the next time she sees a 'funny' sight she wants to show her friends.

You could email your manager on the pretext of asking about their mobile phone policy and say that this request made you wonder whether staff should have a phone on them during the working day and what use is permitted.

Tabby1963 · 18/09/2013 16:38

Next time you see her, ask if you can take a pic of her to show your mates (at MN lol). Say "I hope you don't mind and I will delete it later, it's just that I told my mates that you looked just like a stupid ignorant cunt and they didn't believe it and wanted a pic to prove it". Click send. ;)

tadado · 18/09/2013 16:39

I'm shocked that someone could be so vile. What a horrible person. Please report her because if she does this at an induction what will she be like once she's left loose on the rest of the business? Well done on your weight loss

liquidstate · 18/09/2013 16:40

Dear God, some people are so downright nasty! Ignore them - horrible, nasty bullies.

btw 2lbs a week loss is way more than I have lost recently (not so hot at the whole diet thing) so well done you. Don't give up and don't give them the satisfaction of making you not continue the weight loss.

am actually fuming on your behalf...Angry

PedantMarina · 18/09/2013 16:41

Report report!!!

Unbelievably rude she was.

Owllady · 18/09/2013 16:42

god, what a complete bitch :(

Nancy66 · 18/09/2013 16:42

what a horrible individual. Definitely report and if you get the chance to gob in her tea do that as well

Collaborate · 18/09/2013 16:42

Well done for losing 2lbs this week. Keep up the good work.

cyberboots · 18/09/2013 16:42

I am so impressed at your cool and centred response. I would have been too staggered, that anyone would show themselves up as such a hateful person, to keep it together like you did.

I would bet that some of those other girls were also horrified - and embarrassed at being associated with her. She will certainly find herself out in the cold when people realize what she is like; possibly very soon!

dirtyface · 18/09/2013 16:43

thats disgusting Shock

out and out bullying IMO

nasty people. report.

NatashaBee · 18/09/2013 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

XBenedict · 18/09/2013 16:46

I'm so sorry someone was this nasty to you. Really shallow and low, shame on her Sad

One of the mums at a previous school approached me once in the playground (I didn't know her at all well) and proceeded to tell me, through tears of laughter, how her daughter had asked why Mrs XBenedict was on the tv the night before when in fact it was Paul O'Grady. Oh how I didn't laugh with her. Really upset me.

These are for you Smile

MotherofBear · 18/09/2013 16:47

I am so angry on your behalf, OP. What an awful, rotten person she is.

Well done on losing 2lb, that is quite an achievement. Next time you're in a shop, go and pick up 4 packets of butter and look at the size and weight of them. That's how much you've lost - 4 packets of butter! Be determined to stick to your diet and continue your weight loss, you will feel much better about yourself than if you go and eat. Voice of much, much, much experience talking here!

Good luck.

SaucyJack · 18/09/2013 16:48

I think you should report her anyway. That was an unbelievably awful thing to do.

Northumberlandlass · 18/09/2013 16:50

OP Sad
How fucking awful. Report - agree with the others.

I think the line from Bridesmaids would of come in useful.."and you're just a cunt"

MikeOxard · 18/09/2013 16:55

:o What an absolute bitch! The wrong person was feeling embarrassed here, she needs to learn how to behave in public. Congrats and good luck in your new job.

Well done on your weight loss as well, I know how you feel, I have lost about 5 stone, and the amount of times I have nearly given up because it takes so much effort to lose what seems like so little, but it's all the little amounts that add up. Keep going, even if you have a few stumbles on the way.

StuntGirl · 18/09/2013 16:56
  1. WELL DONE for losing 2lbs. You won't always be overweight, but she'll always be a total cunt. Bask in your awesomeness and feel pity for her being such a shallow, insecure individual that she has to show herself up in front of all those new people like that.
  1. I think you handled that with oodles of dignity and grace. I think I'd have stood open mouthed at such tactless and offensive bullshit.

She needs reporting to your line manager and HR, if you have one.

I recruit staff, and if I was made aware of someone behaving like that I would be having very sharp words and I'd watch her like a hawk for the rest of her probation. Vile manners like that will shine through the rest of her work too, and she'd more trouble than she's worth so I'd be keen to nip it in the bud or get rid of her.