Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just been really upset by someone, AIB too sensitive?

180 replies

whyrpplsonasty · 18/09/2013 15:53

So I was just at an induction and was to be fair, probably the oldest one there so the rest of them tended to congregate together and only one made the effort to include me. Not a problem.

But one of the women/girls kept looking at me and sniggering. I told myself I was being paranoid but it was becomming really obvious. Her friend then looked over and looked back at her to ask what she was laughing at. The girl then whispered (honestly) something to her and they both burst out laughing Shock. I let it go but I was starting to get a bit upset and angry at this point. Minutes later the girl came over to me and said "sorry about before, I wasn't laughing at you, it was something else." I just said "ok no worries" and she then pulled out her mobile and said "do you mind if I take a quick picture of you? I'll delete it afterwards." I asked what for and she said she'd text her boyfriend to say I really looked like Peter Griffin and he didn't believe her so had asked for a photo.

I told her she was offending me and asked her to leave me alone or I'd report her. She was sweet as pie from there on but I feel so down now. I'm home now and I can't get it out of my head. I'll be working with her next week too which just makes it even worse.

Sorry for the namechange but I am embarrassed by it all. :(

OP posts:
strongandlong · 18/09/2013 16:11

I am absolutely astonished that any adult person could be so fucking rude and offensive. What gives people the impression that it's OK to say something like that?

I don't blame you for being upset, but please don't let it get you down, OP, it really isn't worth it.

If you're in the kind of job where it's an option, then you should report her. TBH if I found out a new recruit had said something like that during induction I'd boot them out straight away. My HR dept might insist on a written warning and some training, but either way that is not the kind of attitude that contributes to effective team working.

EldritchCleavage · 18/09/2013 16:11

Please report her.

Not only did she openly laugh at you and pull others into doing so, she came up to you to tell you why which was simply gratuitous cruelty. She needs to face disciplinary consequences for this shit.

MaidOfStars · 18/09/2013 16:11

Report her. Can you request not to work with her? I think you have very legitimate grounds for refusing to do so. This is not a minor personality clash, or a generational clash, it is the deliberate bullying of the (perceived) vulnerable one in a manner I can even fathom.

And while I am utterly certain you don't look like Peter Griffin (because he's a fucking cartoon, for a start), why would you say it to someone even if they did? It's never going to be a compliment, or even a mistakenly innocent "no harm done" job. She can't have failed to realise it would be hurtful, can she?

squoosh · 18/09/2013 16:13

I am truly shocked. What a nasty little bully she sounds.

Unbelievably cruel, good for you for letting her know you were offended, I think I'd have gone batshit crazy at her. I am FURIOUS on your behalf and hope karma takes a big painful lump out of the stupid, sniggering arse.

Don't let her derail you, she is the one with the problem, not you.

magesticmallow · 18/09/2013 16:13

And don't let her set you back losing weight either, 2lbs is great in a week. If anything use her to motivate you and spur you on, in a few weeks you can look forward to swanning in with new found confidence and wiping the smile of that bitches face, your own pretty woman moment! - I'm so cross for you, how do people like her even get a boyfriend!?!

aturtlenamedmack · 18/09/2013 16:13

Horrible bitch.
I would still report her if I were you.
Was this an induction to a place of work?
This is in now way an appropriate way to behave and she needs a short sharp shock (strong words from a manager or even losing her job) otherwise she will just continue to behave in this way.
I think you showed great restraint in not slapping her face there and then.

TheFallenNinja · 18/09/2013 16:14

Where was this

Fourkisses · 18/09/2013 16:15

What a complete bitch!! Angry on your behalf
Do report it & well done on the diet, keep going
Thanks to cheer you up

cookielove · 18/09/2013 16:16

I can't believe people are actually that vile!! I'm outraged on your behalf! !

MaidOfStars · 18/09/2013 16:17

Also regarding reporting her, with a view to the wider picture and even if you are willing to let it go, at least get it on record, so HR can cross-check against any future problems with her.

Talkinpeace · 18/09/2013 16:18

YANBU
Report it to the school.
That is out and out bullying and chances are the child will be as bad as their parent.

TidyDancer · 18/09/2013 16:18

Wow. What a nasty bitch. I would report her.

OP, well done on your weightloss. As someone who has lost a lot of weight, I know how bloody hard it is. You have done fantastic and that asshole (which just wanted to autocorrect to ass shovel....!) has no right to take away your achievement.

How small and insignificant must her life be if she gets kicks out of bullying others?

cunexttuesonline · 18/09/2013 16:18

YANBU and you should absolutely report it as it is bullying and a really stupid thing to say, she is obviously a fucking moron. Hopefully she won't make it through her induction.

VanitasVanitatum · 18/09/2013 16:19

What a horrendous person she must be. Please just ignore her OP, she's absolutely not worth feeling down about. Shallow ignorant people like her are never really happy in themselves.

Talkinpeace · 18/09/2013 16:20

sorry, misread, workplace not school

makes it even more unacceptable.
report to HR and manager immediately.

EldritchCleavage · 18/09/2013 16:20

I hope these responses show you, OP, that you aren't being over-sensitive and this really was awful.

becsbornunderadancingstar · 18/09/2013 16:20

Oh I know it's very MN to give hugs, but please can I give you a hug? I've been bullied before, and I know how much those stupid bitchy 'oh we're just having a little laugh' comments can hurt. I am so sorry that you came across such a prize bitch.

Stick to your diet. Come next week you'll have lost another 2 pounds and she will still have an ugly soul. I am disgusted by her ugliness in fact, it's repellent to behold. We can all see it from here. Whereas you are sweet enough to wonder whether it's you being sensitive - and that is something beautiful in you. Horrid, horrid woman to be so cruel to you.

My mum always told me when I was being bullied that they were insecure people who could see that I would always be something more than they were, and they needed to make me feel like I was less just to bolster up their insecurity. Didn't stop it hurting though.

MrsHoratioNelson · 18/09/2013 16:20

What A Cow. Well done you for actually saying something - I'm normally pretty forthright, but I think I would have been too Shock to do anything other than blush and mumble something at her.

FunnyRunner · 18/09/2013 16:20

She's a vicious little trollop. YANBU to be upset. I don't know that I would inform HR etc but I would definitely log anything and everything she does. It might be just a stupid one off.

FunnyRunner · 18/09/2013 16:21

And if she's a little bitchbag again why not point her to this thread so she can see what a cunt people think she is? Might give her a wake up call.

zatyaballerina · 18/09/2013 16:22

What a vile little creature, report the bitch. Keep up the great work on your diet, be kind to yourself, don't let her nastiness bring you down.

Akray · 18/09/2013 16:22

Shock don't know why to say, other than offer you a big hug and lots of support ~ you sound lovely. Keep up with the diet and don't give her another thought ~ unbelievable that people like this exist, what would possess anyone to say such a thing?!?

Talkinpeace · 18/09/2013 16:22

When you have lost the weight you are working on, you will look like Lois Griffin.
She, on the other hand will still be a spiteful little .....

JoinTheDots · 18/09/2013 16:24

That actually happened? Bloody hell. There are no words to describe how shocked I am at her behaviour. You are not being over sensitive, she needs a slap.

2lbs loss in a week is bloody great, you keep going, and just remember karma is going to bite her on the arse, and hard.

You could help it along by contacting HR...

angelos02 · 18/09/2013 16:25

That is fucking disgusting behaviour. A sackable offence I'd say if it was an induction to a workplace/new job. She is clearly a bully and that needs nipping in the bud straight away.