Would you wash mouth out with soap of 12 year old Son

[SilverStreak7]

He KEEPS using the C word .. Out of all swear words I hate that the most .. Would you wash his mouth out with soap ? I am aware he may swear outside (which Im not pleased with) but in front of me disgusts me . .

seriously, people actually do this to their kids?

I bet they are the same ones who mawk on about baby P and that poor polish boy.

yuk.

Why do people say "It worked she/he never did it again. Neither would I If I knew I was going to get a mouthful of Palmolive/Fairy Liquid!

Before everyone jumps on thegreylady - her story is not in the same league as the accounts of (frankly horrific) abuse elsewhere on this thread (Caveat: assuming it DID happen as described). I'm not saying that makes it OK - just that I don't think it would garner such emotive responses if it was posted in another less distressing context.

Oh come on-23yrs -it's not that long ago!

How does it even occur to someone to do it?

"Oh, my child swore-I'll literally clean their mouth out"

Disgusting.

JesusInTheCabbageVan (Love the name by the way! :) ). My point was to all the Posters on the thread that either said 'did me no harm' or 'did DC's no harm' not just thegreylady's post. Getting a bit in their mouth aftersoapy water on a flannel whilst washing their face is forgivable. I just cant get my head around the fact or how people can physically restrain them whilst forcing shoving it in their mouth. My Dsis's most effective Punishment when the Teenager DNep and DNie swear in front of her is Changing the WiFi password!

I still do not comprehend the problem with swearing. It really is fucking ridiculous that anyone is being punished in any way whatsoever for swearing. What does punishing achieve? Okay, change the wifi password, but why? They swore. They didn't hit someone, beat someone up, steal from the corner shop, they just swore.

Miss thanks

Yes, I agree with you 100% on that. I'm just so shocked at some of the stories on here - I would never have thought that this was so commonplace in my generation.

DawnDonnaagain true. I was just trying to give an alternative punishment Idea. JesúsInTheCabbageVanI know! It's astounding isn't it?! :(

Its ok I expected the criticism.My dd and I are very close friends and there is no resentment-I rarely used any sort of physical punishment [remember I am going back over 20 years] and when I did it mattered. I did indeed feel the horror that many of my generation did at foul language from a lovely, intelligent girl.
I won't go into too much detail [the amount was tiny-there was no restraint-her mouth was open as she was shouting and I was washing up] I put my index finger on the end of whe wup liquid bottle and stuck it in her mouth.I said,"Rinse your mouth out and don't let me hear filth like that from you again!"
She did not resent it then or now.She trusts me with her children and has for the last 7 years.If you who criticise have as good relationships with your adult dc as I have you will be blessed indeed.
it was spur of the moment,I did it,I am sharing the experience and I wish all my lifetime regrets were as minor.

thegreylady
This is not specifically directed at you. However, I suspect we are of similar age. I still do not understand the problem with foul/taboo language, it is nothing more than a social construct. I hate the way in which it is used, eg. dick and prick are light hearted, cunt the worst you can possibly call someone. But I have no problem with people swearing, and honestly don't understand why anyone would punish for using it.

That is quite true JesusintheCabbageVan, but my response was proportionate - I called it sinister-sounding, and it is. Elsewhere on the thread I have been considerably more emotive in response to genuinely more extreme cases.

I simply don't understand how weird some people are about taboo words and the odd, sinister things their hatred of hearing them makes them do to others, and I never will.

Once a person is an adult then what they say is their responsibility but we have a responsibility to our children when they are young.If dc are allowed to use the words for genitalia, for the act of sexual intercourse etc as obscenities then gradually it cheapens and mocks sexuality itself.If you call someone a c and tell them to F off what are you actually saying?Words have meanings.People's bodies deserve respect and sex should be special and beautiful.
Over time the language considered foul has changed as society normalises things which were taboo.religious swearing went first and Oh My God is apparently fine for tinies,Bloody [By our Lady] is nothing.The Big nasty when I grew up was bugger but now anal sex ispart of a normal relationship so we use the genitalia themselves as a focus for obscenity.
There was nothing 'sinister' in what I did.

Could you not just have explained your feelings & told her not to swear??

"There was nothing 'sinister' in what I did."-err, OK then

The 'lesson learnt - I never did it again' thing puzzles me

What lesson was learnt? Why did they never do it again?

Did they learn that the use of casual profanity was not nice and stopping was respectful and polite?
Or did they learn that if they swore their parent would hurt and humiliate them.

I don't swear mum around my mother because she doesn't like it and I love and respect her.
I would rather that was the life lesson tbh.

I agree, Pag-I've never uttered a swear word in front of my parents or ILs.

If I've heard my kids say something I don't like I tell them that I don't want to hear it.

And that's what I mean-they can say it to each other or friends-but not me!

And guess what-no soap needed!

That should have been 'swear much around my mother'
2 mothers in a sentence is too many.

Same here, my parents made it clear from early on they didn't mind much about most casual swearing, as long as we weren't nasty with it. They saw the attitude, rather than the words, as the main point. Even so I didn't say "fuck" in front of them until I was well into my 20s (and they discovered Eddie Izzard ). It just isn't part of our discourse, but that's because they shaped our discourse to be fun and nice and respectful, rather than because they had a list of forbidden words.

I also think a slight from your mum when you've gone a bit too far is the most effective parenting tool ever. The slighter, the better. Instant

FFS, just ignore him. It's only a word and he's doing it to get a reaction out of you. Even better, start saying it yourself. It wouldn't sound quite as cool coming from his mother.

So tell him here's his cy dinner, with a side of c chips and c*cola. Invent new words like c*tastic, c*ery and c**alicious. He's soon get bored.

If dc are allowed to use the words for genitalia, for the act of sexual intercourse etc as obscenities then gradually it cheapens and mocks sexuality itself
I'm really sorry, thegreylady this is puerile nonsense. I'm 55 and my children swear. They are teens now, but I've never had a problem with it, just pointed out, gently, when it was and wasn't appropriate. Interestingly, one of my 17 year olds is still a virgin. The only one left in her class. The other one is a long term relationship and took me with her when she wanted to go on the pill. So, no cheapening of anything.

Surely it depends on what soap. Imperial Leather would constitute abuse but Dove might be acceptable.

You find this amusing?

What kind of sick freak finds child abuse funny?

Unamusing, Grovel, given the posts from people who've experienced this.

I never swear in front of my mum and that's because she shoved a bar of soap in my gob when I swore in front of her when I was a teenager ;)