Would you wash mouth out with soap of 12 year old Son

[SilverStreak7]

He KEEPS using the C word .. Out of all swear words I hate that the most .. Would you wash his mouth out with soap ? I am aware he may swear outside (which Im not pleased with) but in front of me disgusts me . .

Didn't the OP react in a similar way on a term time holiday thread last week?

I reckon you need to chill out a bit, love.

If I tried to do this to either of my kids, they would fight me like demons

Justifiably so

My dd will only let me wash her mouth out with neat vodka.

shines halo

Yes. I got held down and had my mouth held open to wash my mouth out. It started at about 8 and at first I fought back. By the time I was strong enough to 'win' I was already too conditioned to think of doing it. It seems some people on the thread who see it as a perfectly normal and not anusive part of childhood have been conditioned in that way too

Because cory, if you have long hair, your parent has a handful of it twisted in their fist, and if you resist then you get clobbered with something heavier than a hand.
My mother was considerably stronger than me when I was 10, even though we were around the same size. Plus, filled with fury and no sense that what she was doing was wrong. Which it wasn't back then in her experience.

Ignore this bunch of counts.

Countesses, surely...

Comtesse
Contessa

You'reAll, exactly what I was referring to. I believe the attitude problem may be hereditary.

Madbuslady, appreciate your comments and one of the reasons I did comment was because I'd read the thread from the beginning and found it rather disturbing. As you say, some of the latter comments (history of this having actually having been done) even worse.
...and I'd do any cunts legs with my hockey stick

That is so sad and horrible, SilverApples.

But is more or less the point I was trying to make: you can't do this to a child this age and get away with it unless you are actually a very violent and abusive parent.

If you have brought up your child to believe in you as a sane and sensible person, then they would know that at a certain point you would have to stop because you would never risk a situation where you seriously injured a member of your own family. (and you wouldn't want to risk a situation where you were defeated either, for obvious reasons)

Which makes me wonder how the posters who seem to be advocating this are actually thinking: if their dc resisted or went into a panic, how far would they take the fight?

I have bathed and dressed a 4yo with mild force or removed him from a room by physically lifting him, because I knew I was strong enough to do it gently without risking that he got hurt even if he did resist. There is no way I would do that with my 13yo, because the risk of injury (to either of us) is just horrendous. How do people think?

Cory, I agree. I went on a restraint course specifically so that I could handle my lad in full Meltdown.
I could stop him, I could immobilise him, but I didn't know how to do that without breaking him as I'd be using self defence methods. So I went on the course as a last resort, if I ever needed it to keep him and others safe.

Oh and if you are terrified and feel completely broken and know that the adult is really terrifying and out of control... You can even just be forced to do it with words and a few stern prods. My poor darling sister was forced to bite into a bar of soap when we'd been playing in the bathroom and made too much noise. My mother screamed her words of pure hatred and disgust, and my sister opened her mouth and had the soap pushed into her mouth until she gagged.

I was so scared of how it looked I refused to open my mouth and I still remember the hatred in her eyes.

So actually, you dont need to use physical force as long as you've put a bit of effort in beforehand to break the child.

Some of these Posts are very Sad :( Our School reported someone to SS for doing this with Washing Up Liquid. . Just because a Punishment used to Be okay x amount of years ago doesn't make it so now

Method 2

Generously soap a flannel until it is covered with a layer of soap. In my case forcing mouth open wasn't necessary as what ever was coming would be worse if I didn't comply.

Use flannel to generously coat the tongue, teeth and if you can do the tonsils without vomit go for them too.

Don't forget to do under the tongue as well and finally don't let the child wash their mouth with water or have a drink, that might take the taste away.

If a bit of soap drops into the child's eye, well they should have opened up quicker it is their own fault.

I would bet a lot that anyone who has had this done to them will never ever do it to another human, or even an animal.

It would be abusive, so no. What would be learn from you doing it? That bad words can be met with physical abuse.

How about you take away x amount from his pocket money each time he says it. Or ban screen time for 24 hours. Or send him to his room.

I would get the dictionary, sit him down and read the meaning to him. I would tell him how offensive all women will find it. Not just you. Talk to him about using appropriate language in different settings. Do all this calmly.

Just plain hitting with us. I was so terrified that when told to take something to a neighbour I went out in a thunderstorm in my pyjamas. Got very funny looks and a change of clothes, got back, got hit for showing her up.

I mean, we can't have people thinking a senior officer's wife is a kiddybatterer? Thing was, they all knew anyway. I've got quite a few honorary aunts and uncles scattered across the Retired List.

Good Post Retroformica I agree with you. I go by the principle that If you wouldn't do this to an Adult don't do it to a defenceless child! The same with calling them a whore Allfor

Either something is abuse or it isn't. If a teacher did that they would lose their job and end their career. There would be hell to pay if a grandparent or aunt did it. I don't see how you can have a situation where a parent can do it but everyone else can't.

Exactly ExoticFruits!! Can you imagine the uproar they would Be hauled over the Coals!

A teacher doing it would be in the national newspapers!
It appears that a parent can do it because 'it is part if a loving relationship'! ( or possibly it is an ownership thing- as in 'it is OK because they belong to me - my child my rules')would like to know what part of a 'loving relationship' means you can force an unpleasant substance into someone's mouth? I would leave DH if he did it to me! Or is the message that ' I can do it because I am bigger and stronger'? I can't find any justification.

A friend of mine told me that her cousin put Chilli powder in her two year olds mouth because he said 'fuck'

ThePowerof3 oh my good lord! :(

To go against the grain...I did this 23 years ago to my t hen 16 yenars old daughter. I had heard her say f* for the first time. I put a tiny bit of Fairy liquid on the tip of my finger and put it in her mouth. She was so surprised it was done before she could react. She is nearly 40 now she still remembers and has rarely,if ever, sworn in front of me since.
Was I abusive? Maybe. Did it cause harm? No. Would I do it nowadays? Possibly if all else failed.

Sorry thegreylady but that is disgusting behaviour. Would you put soap in an adult's mouth?

She pretty much did, DaleyBump.

I bet your daughter still remembers it. Again with the "it worked" and "it was never forgotten" as justifications. How can you people not see how sinister you sound?

You're right MadBusLady. I just can't understand how people think it's okay. I've never forgiven my dad for doing it to me.