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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend of DH arriving on a Sunday at 7.34am

144 replies

Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 07:44

My DH is a nice person. (read, mug.) friend was supposed to come over yesterday to talk about a business they are in the process of starting up. Friend cancelled. last minute.

Friend tried to re-arrange for today - no time given.

Today, we are child free, we went out for the night together last night. As our youngest is 12 weeks old, our lie ins are pretty precious to me.

We also have in laws coming over for Sunday lunch, so busy morning.

So when friend tries to rearrange, DH says non - committal 'oh mate, we're pretty busy tomorrow, got parents coming for lunch and busy morning.
Could possible spare an hour or so before but another day would be better.'

Response: 'ah ok.'

Then this morning, 7.15am - DH gets a text - 'Hi mate - I'm on my way. Be with you at 7.30ish.'

So now he's downstairs!!!

AIBU to be so fucking angry I ripped DH to shreads this morning and would honestly like to go down there and explain to this prick exactly how unwelcome he is?! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking fuck fuck fuckprick.

OP posts:
HKat · 15/09/2013 07:46

YANBU. At all. I would kill them both.

littlewhitebag · 15/09/2013 07:48

I's not really your DH's fault though is it? The friend was on his way before he could agree it or not. If they need time to discuss a business and this is the only time they have then maybe you just have to accept it even if the timing is not ideal.

Original poster
Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 07:51

It is his fault because he should have said firmly yesterday that today was not a good day. And personally if it were my friend I genuinely would have said sorry, 7am is not a good time for us. If they are so presumptuous as to arrive and expect that it is an appropriate time, they have to take the risk of being told no. Seriously. Who does that?!?! And it is a brand new business. He could come any other day, any other time.

OP posts:
MrsLouisTheroux · 15/09/2013 07:53

Why so angry?
Yes it's inconvenient, yes he's uninvited, yes it's weird but how is it your DH's fault?
Why are you having a go at him?
It's happened and your DH didn't know what to say to him so he's here. Let them get on with their meeting - at least it's not in the middle of dinner.

Chottie · 15/09/2013 07:54

Please do not go downstairs and make coffee etc. Stay in bed or have a nice bath / shower. I can't believe this person either Confused

MrsLouisTheroux · 15/09/2013 07:55

Maybe your DH doesn't really mind him coming over now.

Sirzy · 15/09/2013 07:55

Friend is a twit. Don't see what your DH has done he hardly knew he would turn up so early.

Original poster
Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 07:57

Ok so maybe I am being unreasonably angry with DH -BUT I told him yesterday that today was a no go area and instead of saying so he said he could 'squeeze him in for an hour or so' to be fair I am mostly angry at the friend, but can hardly tell him that, can I?!

OP posts:
NoobytheWaspSlayer · 15/09/2013 07:57

7.30 on a Sunday? WTF?

I think this is a MASSIVE red flag about going into business with this guy. If he thinks 7.30 on a Sunday is an appropriate time to talk business what else will he think is ok?

Marcheline · 15/09/2013 07:58

Mental.

I'd go down there and just tell him that now is, surprisingly, not a good time, and could he make an appt with your DH for another day.

I would seriously be reconsidering setting up a business with someone who doesn't understand social mores enough to know that one DOESN'T do this! What else does he do / might he do in the future?!

Marcheline · 15/09/2013 07:59

X-post Nooby. Great minds!

CaptainSweatPants · 15/09/2013 07:59

Why don't you go back to sleep & leave them to it?

Maybe your feeling extra sensitive because you're missing your 12 week old

MrsLouisTheroux · 15/09/2013 08:01

So DH did (sort of) invite him over?!!
I take it back. Your DH and this man are PITA.

Original poster
Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 08:01

I agree that these are red flags.

He also invited DH to Magaluf for 3 weeks after our baby was due, couldn't understand why DH said no! they are both married and he is mid 30's.

oh - and lets be clear here - they might be talking 'business' but they are also planning on fitting in a fair amount of FIFA! i'm going to make them peel potatoes in their 'meeting'.

OP posts:
idiot55 · 15/09/2013 08:03

Numpties

Stern words needed later re his choice of buisness partner

Original poster
Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 08:04

yes Louis - he said 'sunday is not great day, v busy but could potentially squeeze you in for an hour or s, anotheer day would be better though' did NOT give a time and friend didnt confirm or suggest time until he was on his way.

OP posts:
WF · 15/09/2013 08:09

Ridiculous. Where's your DH's priorities? If he can't stand his ground this early on in a business venture then it doesn't bode well.

Have I got this right? Your DH communicated that today wasn't a good day, and the partner still appeared?? At 7:30 am? On a Sunday?

  1. Red flag re someone who can't read hints
  2. Your DH needs to mature and step up to prioritising what is important

I would feel exactly like you. Even without a 12 week old. YANBU.

Lilacroses · 15/09/2013 08:13

7.30 on a Sunday? That is ridiculous unless you are meeting someone for a run or something.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 15/09/2013 08:20

The mate is a cheeky inconsiderate git.

I would be telling him that too and as for FIFA, no way in hell would that be happening.

GerardButlersSecretLover · 15/09/2013 08:20

Make sure you give them all the vegetables to peel not just the potatoes!!! Grin

littlewhitebag · 15/09/2013 08:22

I am probably being the devils advocate but if your DH and he friend are setting up a business then surely it meeting on a Sunday morning shows their commitment to getting this going. I would bet Sir Sugar had meetings much earlier than that when he was setting up his businesses. Let them get on with it. You can still have your lie in with no baby to worry about.

McNewPants2013 · 15/09/2013 08:26

It is early, I would just go back to sleep and let them get on with it.

what's the business they are setting up

Bluestocking · 15/09/2013 08:28

I'm with littlewhitebag on this. If they are actually trying to set up a business, then they need to have this meeting, and if your DH has a busy dat then it's sensible to fit it in first thing. I really can't understand what your problem is. Stay in bed and let them get in with it.

thistlelicker · 15/09/2013 08:31

Are they setting up a business in teaching ppl how to play FIFA ?

Worriedkat · 15/09/2013 08:36

I don't think the friend IBU. Your DHs text suggests that you have a busy morning and lunch but he can spare an hour before. Doesn't that suggest very early morning, ie before your average Sunday morning time of 9am onwards??

Communication slip up....