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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend of DH arriving on a Sunday at 7.34am

144 replies

Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 07:44

My DH is a nice person. (read, mug.) friend was supposed to come over yesterday to talk about a business they are in the process of starting up. Friend cancelled. last minute.

Friend tried to re-arrange for today - no time given.

Today, we are child free, we went out for the night together last night. As our youngest is 12 weeks old, our lie ins are pretty precious to me.

We also have in laws coming over for Sunday lunch, so busy morning.

So when friend tries to rearrange, DH says non - committal 'oh mate, we're pretty busy tomorrow, got parents coming for lunch and busy morning.
Could possible spare an hour or so before but another day would be better.'

Response: 'ah ok.'

Then this morning, 7.15am - DH gets a text - 'Hi mate - I'm on my way. Be with you at 7.30ish.'

So now he's downstairs!!!

AIBU to be so fucking angry I ripped DH to shreads this morning and would honestly like to go down there and explain to this prick exactly how unwelcome he is?! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking fuck fuck fuckprick.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 15/09/2013 09:22

Your dh didn't actually put him off, though, did he? He told him you had a lunch planned for guests and a "busy morning", but could squeeze him in for an hour or so... The friend could hardly be blamed for taking him at his word and assuming he had to get the meeting over with before the busy day kicked in, although should have called before he set off.
I get the impression your dh was perfectly fine with this; so if you're pissed off it's him you actually have the problem with.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/09/2013 09:23

But isn't it his choice whether he has a lie in or has business meeting/plays FIFA?
op still gets her lie in.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 15/09/2013 09:24

What joinyourplayfellows said.^^

I wouldn't be that mad at DH I think, as he basically did say Sunday is not really a good idea. His friend is a freak.
I don't even want to see my own flesh and blood at 7.30 on a sunday. In fact ds only (gently)woke me up half an hour ago since he knows its Sunday. And he's seven.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 15/09/2013 09:25

"This "business" is a complete load of shite. And it is going to be used as an excuse for these two boys to have lots of playdates together that you aren't supposed to be allowed to criticise because they are "entrepreneurs" hmm

This loser just fancied coming over to yours this morning (probably to get away from his own children) to play FIFA."

Maybe start your own "business" with a mate? Grin

WhoNickedMyName · 15/09/2013 09:27

Your DH us a wet blanket, his friend is pretty clueless and they've spent their "business meeting" playing FIFA.

I do hope your DH isn't mug enough to actually invest any money into this venture.

And YANBU to be annoyed at both of them.

BashfulBunny · 15/09/2013 09:29

I'd be livid. A nice cosy, rare, lie in ruined.

Your DH needs to grow a spine and learn to be more clear. Your friend sounds like a self centred arse (3 week holiday to Magaluf leaving you with a brand new baby?!) He needs to get a clue about thinking about others and grow up if he thinks going to someone's house at 7.30am on a Sunday and playing FIFA instead of having a meeting is acceptable.

I wood have serious second thoughts about your DH going into business with this guy. Your DH doesn't stand up for himself and his interests and the friend will clearly put himself first. Definite red flag.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 15/09/2013 09:31

"But isn't it his choice whether he has a lie in or has business meeting/plays FIFA?"

Um, no.

I think it is unspeakably rude to arrange special time like that with your spouse and then allow a friend to show up in your house for a pretend meeting.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/09/2013 09:35

if it's not his choice what he does, then that is controlling.
I suspect this was 'arranged'by OP,, not by her Dh.
Using the nice/mug side of his personality, do to exactly what she wants.

Bluestocking · 15/09/2013 09:37

Actually, on further consideration, I think you may have a bigger problem than your DP being a bit of a mug if he would rather get up at 7.15 on a Sunday to play FIFA with a friend than "have a lie in" with you.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 15/09/2013 09:39

I don't think you really understand what the word "controlling" means.

Hint: it does not mean a woman having the temerity to ask for something that is important to her in her marriage.

This couple had an agreement to spend the morning in bed together.

That is pretty rare and precious couple time.

You don't make an arrangement to do something special with someone you love and then let somebody else ruin it by inviting themselves over to your home.

You just don't. It's a shitty way to behave.

It's as if this guy showed up to talk business when they were out for dinner for their anniversary.

pigletmania · 15/09/2013 09:40

It's not really your DH fault, more like his friends for having exceptionally bad manners. Go back to sleep and leave them to it!

pigletmania · 15/09/2013 09:43

My goodness give poor dh a break, so all your partners are perfect Hmm. A mistake was made, what is done is done! Op should have a calm chat with her dh, to make sure this does not happen again. It is also friends fault by just turning up, not asking if it's ok to

Mckayz · 15/09/2013 09:45

Arethere, are you reading a completely different thread to me?

The OP and her DH decided to go out last night and then have a nice lie in. The idiot DH then doesn't bother telling his friend that today is no good for him or telling him that no 7:30 is not ok!

JoinYourPlayfellows · 15/09/2013 09:46

Is the pretend business partner still playing computer games in your home?

Original poster
Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 09:48

I have just come down and asked DH to go to shop and get some potatoes. I suspect know I might be being a bitch but I am not going to let them get away with this. I wouldn't mind as much if it was genuine but they have played FIFA the entire time and still going strong.

Just been making small talk with 'friend' (I've not met him before) he said 'had real trouble parking this morning, think everyone on your road was still in bed! I suppose I did get here a bit eearly - but that's me, up the the lark so thought now was as good a time as any! Left 'the wife' on bed hahahahahaha'

OP posts:
ExcuseTypos · 15/09/2013 09:49

I would be livid with both of them.

When he got the text this morning you're DH should have replied 'today is not convenient. Do not come. I will rearrange later for another day'

I also think this is a massive red flag. The friend sounds like a prick to me.

TwoStepsBeyond · 15/09/2013 09:50

I'm with you Join - the only thing I prefer to actually sleeping in the morning is a kid-free sleepy fumble with DP. He gets up early for work/gym/running every weekday and at least one day at the weekend the DCs wake us up (he loves his DCs coming into bed with us for a cuddle, I just give mine a quick cuddle and send them off to watch TV!)

On the very rare morning that there are no DCs, no work, no gym I would be fucking livid if I'd been expecting a lazy morning, some sleepy sex, cup of tea in bed etc and what I actually got was being woken by a text and someone at the door, only to be left awake and alone in bed while he played games under the pretence of doing something important.

I would be seriously questioning his priorities that he didn't want the kid-free morning I had envisaged and if he had really wanted the lie-in but had been coerced into it I would have less respect for him as a result.

ExcuseTypos · 15/09/2013 09:51

You're not being a bitch!

Tell the friend you are expecting guests for lunch and you've both got lots to do.

Ragwort · 15/09/2013 09:55

I think it's rather ironic that the OP spends the time ranting on mumsnet instead of enjoying a peaceful lie-in on her own - no kids and no DH - sounds idyllic Grin.

ChasedByBees · 15/09/2013 09:56

I'd be furious. Are they still playing FIFA? I think your DH is as much to blame for the FIFA playing and he could have said no to the first text.

ChasedByBees · 15/09/2013 09:59

The business partner is an inconsiderate twat.

Original poster
Fairy1303 · 15/09/2013 10:00

Ragwort. I have been in bed on mumsnet. Couldn't get back to sleep because of the nosy cheering/laughing from downstairs.

I have to start cooking soon anyway. I was hoping DH would help by doing some of the cleaning etc ready for lunch.

I am going to give him job after job until friend takes the hint and leaves.

OP posts:
WeAreEternal · 15/09/2013 10:01

While DH is out I would say to the friend, "we'll you have been here for several hours. I hope you managed to discuss what you needed to. Now as DH explained to you yesterday we have a busy day today, which we need to be getting ready for, so if there is nothing else I think you should be getting back to your wife"

I would then hand him his coat, and switch off the games console and remove the power cable and stand patiently by the door, glaring at him until he walked out of it.

pigletmania · 15/09/2013 10:04

In that case op it's your dh fault as well for not getting him out ASAP. Tell friend your busy today. Try and get partner alone and tell him to cut this vist sharpish!

pigletmania · 15/09/2013 10:05

Oh yes weAre good idea Grin

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