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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My mother put my DD in care of a total stranger

153 replies

Noodle1963 · 10/09/2013 13:34

Ok I am new to this, but feel I have to get this off my chest. 1st August first day of annual child care 2 DD's with parents whilst I am at work (in the same town). DD2 and mother came to place of work and I asked where DD1 was, mother replied she has gone off with Lucy and her parents. Who I asked are Lucy's Parents? They are the the daughter and sil of my neighbour. Where has DD2 gone? and do you have a phone number? I don't know and no I have no phone number. As this point my mother stormed out of my workplace saying I can never do anything right. I had to inform my boss that I needed to find out where and who my DD was with, so locked the shop (in a state of panic) and went to see the neighbour, she gave me contact details of her daughter and I was able to phone and find out what was happening myself.

I went to pick my kids up after work and was then told to P--S off and get out of our lives by my Mum and Dad in front of my kids!

I was then in a state of shock and had to find alternative child care for the next 6 weeks of the holiday. My mother has not spoken to me since but has tried to contact my kids, I told her I want an apology for the kids and for me and the phone was then put down on me.

All this because I was concerned about my child.

OP posts:
HavantGuard · 10/09/2013 14:26

You did overreact, but your mother not bothering to get a mobile number off the people or even bother ask where they were going is pretty odd.

Tee2072 · 10/09/2013 14:27

I'm completely lost.

Beastofburden · 10/09/2013 14:28

Sorry but that was an over-reaction. No wonder your DM feels humiliated. What she did was completely normal in her day and pretty much fine now.

It might have been nice to swap mobile details, but dont forget that GPs are not used to having DC all day long and she may well have been flustered and forgotten. Plus in her day, if something went wrong you dealt with it- nobody had mobiles to get hold of the parents, so you were just trusted to get on with it.

WafflyVersatile · 10/09/2013 14:28

Me too.

Tee2072 · 10/09/2013 14:30

"YES I am serious and I am GLAD of it - because that means they are doing all they can to ensure the people driving are sensible responsible drivers."

No. They are doing all they can to ensure their drivers have never been caught.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:32

yes, I know what you mean about "not caught" - they don't actually give them a driving test or monitor the speed etc, but within the bounds of being reasonable, they have done more than you would as a parent accepting an invite for DD to go to a friends house/birthday outing. They have checked the car is roadworthy and insured.

Beastofburden · 10/09/2013 14:33

I think the OP says it all- in the care of a total stranger

not true.

A stranger to you. but wellknown and trusted to your mum.

Thats kind of the point....

Beastofburden · 10/09/2013 14:33

I think the OP says it all- in the care of a total stranger

not true.

A stranger to you. but wellknown and trusted to your mum.

Thats kind of the point....

MissStrawberry · 10/09/2013 14:33

In my world if you ask someone to look after your child they should not hand over the responsibility without at least a phone call first to ask if it was okay.

claraschu · 10/09/2013 14:34

You sound unhinged tome. Your daughter is 13; I assumed she was a preschooler. Do you really show your car insurance to your daughter's BFs parents?

Imogencodpiece · 10/09/2013 14:34

YABU she is 13 fgs! your mum maybe should have got a contact telephone number as thats good common sense incase of an emergency. But I think you need to call and apologize IMO

HavantGuard · 10/09/2013 14:34

'In her day' Grin

My parents have mobiles. My ILs have mobiles. My older relatives have mobiles. They range in age from 65 to 80.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

phantomnamechanger · 10/09/2013 14:34

Back to the OP, I would also be annoyed with the DD who went off, regardless of what her GM said, she ought to have been taught that you need to know where she is and be informed of any and all changes of plan/location.

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