To report my husband to social services warning distressing content

[Arnie123]

My son is 2 and at weekend I noticed a V shape red mark on the front of his neck. The shape of the v was a perfect match for his sweatshirt and I could see instantly what had happened is my son had been picked up by the back of the sweatshirt and lifted in the air. The mark was still present but less so on Sunday and by Monday had gone. He admitted the incident and there were no mitigating circumstances eg he was running into the road and he grabbed him for safety reasons. As he is blind I surreptitiously recorded the conversation for evidence. He has told me he is sorry and it is an isolated incident. Over the weekend I was in a state of shock so did not report him but monitored his contact with my son. Now it has sunk in I feel I need to get the locks changed today and call the ss it will mean the end of our marriage but I regard what has happened as very serious and need to put my son first. Please no sarky or nasty comments I am incredibly distressed right now and need support not criticism

[Dahlen]

It's all irrelevant really. The nub of the matter is that you believe your H is capable of deliberately hurting your child and you'd rather change the locks than investigate further. The relationship is over, you just need the practical arrangements to catch up.

[WaitMonkey]

I don't think the op will be back.

[Chopstheduck]

I was looking at another thread by the Op where she states

'I will be the first to admit I have a massive tendency to over react at times '


Same old, OP!

I don't think you are happy with your husband, and you seem to be looking for reasons to end your relationship with him. As far as the jumper incident goes, you haven't really given enough details. I also find the whole thing slightly odd, I really not sure how the jumper would have left that kind of mark. He would have had to have been tilted at a very odd angle for some time, surely!

[extracrunchy]

Bowlersarm I think you've hit the nail on the head.

[Arnie123]

I have reported him now and will not be returning to this website due to the lack of support and insults moderators please delete thread

[Elsiequadrille]

How very odd.

I agree, it sounds like you just want to end the relationship.

[Elsiequadrille]

You think your husband was lying about the road incident? Otherwise I'm not sure why you'd report him (unless there's something you're not telling us). It sounds plain bonkers.

[SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious]

I dont think the OP likes her husband at all and wants out but for some reason she cant just leave.

her other threads about him aren't nice at all.

[Chopstheduck]

Arnie123, I hope you realise that you will also be looked at very closely.

They will want to know why you leave your child in his care if you feel he is incompetent and if he has abused the child, why you haven't protected him.

I wouldn't leave your son with his dad for now until ss have been.

[TheVermiciousKnid]

Why don't you answer posters' perfectly reasonable questions? Like: what did your husband say happened?

[ShadeofViolet]

Your poor, hen-pecked husband.

[Unexpected]

I don't know who insulted you, all I can see is people asking for clarification of the partial explanation and limited information you posted. Mumsnet does not have moderators and they don't delete threads because someone doesn't like the advice they have been given. I wish you good luck with sorting out your future, I think your marriage is certainly finished, but I hope that things do work out for you and your son.

[sarascompact]

You didn't get a unanimous cry of 'Leave the bastard' so you're taking your ball and going home?

I hope you've stuck around long enough to read this suggestion: Take a week off work, send your husband to a hotel, put a blindfold on and wear it all week long, night and day, while you care for your child singlehandedly. Then come back and tell us how easy it is.

[TheVermiciousKnid]

Most people have just asked for more clarification and instead of doing that, you're throwing your toys out and demand for the thread to be deleted.

[extracrunchy]

Arnie123 there were a number of very reasonable questions from posters trying to help, none of which you answered. You can't be surprised if people have got the wrong end of the stick?!

[pudcat]

No one insulted you. You did not answer questions. You sound really nasty to report your husband over 1 tiny mark. From all your other posts complaining about him I think you were just looking for something to get rid of him.

[extracrunchy]

Arnie123 there were a number of very reasonable questions from posters trying to help, none of which you answered. You can't be surprised if people have got the wrong end of the stick?!

[MummyPig24]

What a strange thread. Op seems to be avoiding the questions. We don't know if the child is her dhs biological child, why she leaves him in the care of an apparently incompetent parent, why he pulled the child's jumper. It looks like we will never know!

[Bowlersarm]

I am just not getting this at all.

OP has made her mind up to report, but it all makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

[wannaBe]

Can we please stop with the "it must be incredibly difficult to look after a child safely/provide nutritional meals/entertain a child if you're blind," comments.

I appreciate that people cannot imagine how they personally would be able to do these things if they had no sight but the reality is that for someone who is blind having no sight is how it's always been, so there's no "adapting" involved - if you've always had no sight then you've always done things a certain way. iyswim.

I am blind and I am a parent. I gave up a career to bring up my son, yes there are sometimes precautions that can be taken to ensure a child's safety e.g. I had safety gate on my kitchen to prevent ds from coming in without my knowledge; I had a playpen I could safely leave him in if I left the room; he went out on reins, but tbh these are probably all precautions any parent should take to ensure their safety, it's just that many parents choose to rely on their sight rather than take such precautions whereas if you can't see you don't have that option.

I am a better cook than probably most sighted people I know, and I certainly nutritionally fed my child - he never ate a jar of baby food in his life.

There are plenty of lazy parents who feed their children chips and beans every night and disability has nothing to do with it.

I rather suspect the op mentioned his being blind because she knew that would spark some doubt in people's minds as to his ability to parent a child, and it seems she was right.

I wonder whether the op actually plans to end the relationship, so this mark (which the dh wouldn't even know was there) is a good way for her to become hysterical and call ss and change the locks and make allegations because let's face it, as a SAHD he would be more likely to be given residency.

This thread is pretty nasty all round.

[Unexpected]

I haven't read the OPs other threads but if there are others about the dh and the consensus is that there may well be fault on both sides, then I hope the OP is prepared for the can of worms which she has opened by involving SS. If they deem the dh unfit/unable to care for his child the next logical step will be to look at the other parent's actions in leaving the dc in a known unsuitable environment.

[QuintessentialOldDear]

Arnie, how can anybody support you when you are unwilling to provide any detail and go into a dialogue about what occurred?