To report my husband to social services warning distressing content

[Arnie123]

My son is 2 and at weekend I noticed a V shape red mark on the front of his neck. The shape of the v was a perfect match for his sweatshirt and I could see instantly what had happened is my son had been picked up by the back of the sweatshirt and lifted in the air. The mark was still present but less so on Sunday and by Monday had gone. He admitted the incident and there were no mitigating circumstances eg he was running into the road and he grabbed him for safety reasons. As he is blind I surreptitiously recorded the conversation for evidence. He has told me he is sorry and it is an isolated incident. Over the weekend I was in a state of shock so did not report him but monitored his contact with my son. Now it has sunk in I feel I need to get the locks changed today and call the ss it will mean the end of our marriage but I regard what has happened as very serious and need to put my son first. Please no sarky or nasty comments I am incredibly distressed right now and need support not criticism

[dreamingbohemian]

I'm actually really glad if the OP has called SS. From the other threads it did sound like things were pretty dire and neither of them was coping very well.

[firesidechat]

When I say "read", I mean that I remember them and not that I've gone back and read previous threads. The mention of blind parents seems to stick in my memory for obvious reasons.

[Fakebook]

Wtf ....this poster has admitted on other threads she has bipolar disorder. Looks like something's not right with her IMO. Hope she's in sane mind.

[DropYourSword]

Hi fireside, I just want to clarify that my post you quoted is meant to convey exactly the same message as yours. I hope I haven't been misunderstood.

[OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly]

She's had a lot of other threads about how awful he is, and says a lot about herself too. If even half of whats been posted is true (and I hope it isn't) then they both need Social Services.

[PollyIndia]

Great post WannaBe

My dad is black blind and looked after us on his own plenty of times when my mum was away. He is a great father and has there for us more than plenty of other dads I know. He came up this weekend, put my stairgate in, plunged my drains and helped look after my 11 month old. Just because someone is blind doesn't mean they can't look after a child for any length of time.

Anyway, the blind thing is a red herring. All sounds fairly peculiar - hope it works out properly for the little boy and it was just an accident.

[JaquelineHyde]

I suspect the OP is already very well known to SS and hopefully this 'report' will be seen as the cry for help that it is and things will be put into place to support her and her husband (who I feel incredibly sorry for) and ensure that their DS has a safe and happy childhood.

[firesidechat]

DropYourSword no I meant to convey that I was agreeing with you and then realised that I had written it out really badly. I was trying to say that there were obviously two views on this - one where posters were worried about a blind mans ability to cope and those of us who know for a fact that blind (and other disabled people) can and do cope very well.

I'm not enjoying this particular thread, but it is a good opportunity to stand up for disabled parents. I am incredibly grateful to mine for the wonderful job that they did of bringing us up. Obviously not every disabled person is some kind of saint, but they are very much just like the rest of us.

[sarascompact]

Wannabe, I apologise for any offence caused by my ignorance regarding this blind man being able to supervise/safeguard his 2 year old. As a sighted person I would have thought it difficult for a blind person to do certain things while a child hovers silently very close by. Things which I take for granted; For example, taking a tray of roast potatoes out of the oven. I understand now that for some blind people it's not as I imagined. Nonetheless maybe it is a struggle for the OP's husband. None of us know whether that's so or not as we're not him and we're not there.

Once more, my apologies for causing any hurt or offence to you or to anyone else.

[MammaTJ]

Done a little search. In August you were on the verge of leaving him because he is a recovering alcoholic and tempted to drink and you were angry because he had taken up smoking that he had previously given up.

You really don't like him, do you OP?

[StanleyLambchop]

As he is blind I surreptitiously recorded the conversation for evidence.

Would that evidence even be allowed, as it was recorded without his consent?

[midlandslurker]

MNet never ceases to amaze me.

If anybody else (non Disabled) had picked up a two year old by their clothing and held them there long enough to cause visible and lasting injuries they'd be cries of "its your responsibility to protect your child" "call social services" "and LTB"

But because this man has a disability there is outrage that she's record their conversation and even calling her the abuser for doing so.

There's even scaremongering that she'll be under investigation for trying to protect her child.

"if you've actually reported your own DH to social services then good luck with that.. it wont just be him they investigate, i hope for your own sake that you're absolutely squeaky clean"

Bloody hell there's nothing like double standards..............

Having a disability doesn't make someone a saint - People with disabilities can be abusive too you know.

[Floggingmolly]

Is a blind, recovering alcoholic really someone who should be left in sole care of a two year old?

[firesidechat]

midland the OP hasn't said how it happened and she certainly didn't see it happen. She hasn't even said what her husbands explanation was. There is far too little info to condemn the husband. There is also a context here which goes beyond this thread.

Flogging as has already been said the disability is largely irrelevant. As to the recovering alcoholic, then surely the point is that he isn't drinking now and does that mean that no recovering alcoholic should be looking after their own children.

[ilovexmastime]

If anybody else (non Disabled) had picked up a two year old by their clothing and held them there long enough to cause visible and lasting injuries they'd be cries of "its your responsibility to protect your child" "call social services" "and LTB"

Really? Because I was more of the "and?" mindset. Sorry, but it's not like he's knocked his kid unconscious or suchlike is it? Will SS really care that an item of clothing has left a mark? Surely they've got much more serious shit to be dealing with?

[ExcuseTypos]

My father dislocated my DDs arm by swinging her round whilst they were playing. It was obviously a complete accident and thankfully there were about 7 witnesses as we were having a BBq. If I hadn't seen it I still wouldn't have presumed my father had done it on purpose. So maybe the OP has reason to doubt her H?

[OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly]

Thats not remotely true. And stop putting words and thoughts in other posters mouths, its really fucking rude.

I think OP is in the wrong, totally irrespective of whether he's blind, or any of the other things she;s said about him. Although considering some of the other stuff she;s said, I doubt any of it is true anyway.

[Elsiequadrille]

That's right the OP hasn't explained what has happened and refused to answer questions or clarify.

But I think few doubted that SS intervention wouldn't be helpful, as there appeared to be a wider back story (including the OP having nearly died having attempted suicide).

[Goldenbear]

All very mysterious - I feel sorry for the child, only last week at the park they got punched by a 5 year old and now this.

[Elsiequadrille]

would

[SilverStreak7]

Seriously I wouldn't contact the SS over this . . . You could have them on your case for years . .. I think you are over reacting , in my opinion.

[VisualiseAHorse]

It all comes down to the reason he pulled the boy by his jumper. If he was picking him up to shake him, then yes, it's bad. But if he was pulling him back from touching a hot cup of tea, then that's fine.

[BrianTheMole]

Good post wannabe.

[kilmuir]

would a mark caused by a quick pull last for several days??? no
sounds like the adults need help and little boy needs out of there!