To report my husband to social services warning distressing content

[Arnie123]

My son is 2 and at weekend I noticed a V shape red mark on the front of his neck. The shape of the v was a perfect match for his sweatshirt and I could see instantly what had happened is my son had been picked up by the back of the sweatshirt and lifted in the air. The mark was still present but less so on Sunday and by Monday had gone. He admitted the incident and there were no mitigating circumstances eg he was running into the road and he grabbed him for safety reasons. As he is blind I surreptitiously recorded the conversation for evidence. He has told me he is sorry and it is an isolated incident. Over the weekend I was in a state of shock so did not report him but monitored his contact with my son. Now it has sunk in I feel I need to get the locks changed today and call the ss it will mean the end of our marriage but I regard what has happened as very serious and need to put my son first. Please no sarky or nasty comments I am incredibly distressed right now and need support not criticism

[AngelsLieToKeepControl]

Arnie you have had lots and lots of support on this site, on many of your threads, it's so unfair to say you haven't had support, and very insulting to all those who have helped.

I understand you have had a really tough time with your husband, but, to be fair to the posters who haven't seen your other threads, this does sound petty as a stand alone incident.

Maybe if you come back and explain a little more of the history people will get a better understanding of what is going on.

I know you are having a really rough time, I really hope things turn around for you soon

[FrigginRexManningDay]

I was one of the ones saying protect your son and still say protect your son,but having read your other threads you are coming across as very overbearing and tbh weird.

[Chopstheduck]

support doesn't just mean agreeing with every thing you say neither, people on here ARE trying to be supportive.

[Unexpected]

WannaBe I am glad you turned up! I knew there was at least one blind parent on MN but couldn't remember who it was. I also think the issue of being blind is completely secondary to this thread. Being blind may have contributed to the one-off incident of grabbing the child's jumper - we don't know because the OP never answered anyone who asked her for the circumstances. However, it had nothing to do with her allegations of poor food, wet nappies etc. It sounds as if she does't like her husband or want the relationship to continue and the dh probably doesn't want to be a SAHP and is doing a not great job of it, blind or seeing.

[gamerchick]

Nobody's have a pop at blind parents and as the OP wasn't answering any questions and just gave the bare bones it's hard to say what's gone on.

Why do people always get offended and compare their own situation in Indignation? Not everybody a circumstances are the same.

[CoffeeTea103]

You seem to be massively overreacting. He might have been just panicked and pulled your son too hard. You said that you haven't witnessed any abuse so what exactly is your issue in reporting him. He is blind and you are recording him, who is being the abusive one here?

It seems as though you are unhappy with your situation and looking for some way out.

[OctopusPete8]

Sending hugs OP you must be in terrible shock.

Could you make him leave for a while?

[queenofdrama]

How can you expect a blind man or partially sighted man to safely care for a 2 yo child, op?
Reporting him to ss sounds absolutely ridiculous!

[IslaValargeone]

It's hardly surprising that sighted people were going to comment on the 'blind' angle of this post, given that it was relevent enough for the OP to bring it up. It doesn't mean that anyone thinks blind parents are incompetent, lazy or anything else.

[Chopstheduck]

I don't think his visual impairment is necessarily relevant, but the OP has also described in other threads him as severely disabled, mobility issues, not very intelligent. I do think SS will question why, as a couple, they haven't considered more support in care for the child.

[TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking]

Bonkers!

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Arnie, if you wish to end your marriage please do so yourself. SS have serious work to do safeguarding the most vulnerable members of our society. You should not be using them to end your relationship because you lack the honesty and gumption to do it yourself.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Maybe him being severely disabled with mobility issues is why you have never seen him down on floor playing with child?

[Runningchick123]

Queenofdrama - your user name is very appropriate.

[AnneUulmelmahay]

Queenofdrama please reread Wannabe's post, she explains quite clearly about a being a parent, being blind and bringing up a child

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

blind people are obviously quite capable of being parents queenofdrama and it is quite ignorant to post that comment.

[Elsiequadrille]

Perhaps there is more to this, just, very quickly, skimmed (not read) over OP's past posts which include her worries about her dh's struggle with alcoholism (and her own attempted overdose). Perhaps social services would be able to help them both after all... Though her reasons for reporting (if based on this thread alone) may be viewed as odd.

[Bowlersarm]

Lampshadeofdoom that makes it look far more sinister.(Although it seems disrespectful inferring that in the Ops thread)

I do think the OP was out of order recording the man when he had no idea. I don't think secret recordings can be taken as evidence can they?

[Buzzardbird]

Who hasn't once had to grab hold of their child maybe by the jumper or coat to stop them running in the road?

[firesidechat]

I'm unsure why some people on here equate being blind to being incompetent?? There are many blind people in the world. Lots of them have children. There is no reason to think they are any less (or more) capable of being excellent parents.
The only reason that OP mentioned her DH was blind was because it enabled her to secretly record him (which I personally find distasteful)

and

How can you expect a blind man or partially sighted man to safely care for a 2 yo child, op?
Reporting him to ss sounds absolutely ridiculous!

I know that the competence of blind parents has already been mentioned on here, but it is worth saying that blind people are perfectly capable of looking after small children. My mum and dad are blind and raised not 1, but 3 children and they did it very well too with no help.

I have read previous posts by the OP and I think that it is safe to say that she doesn't seem to like her husband very much. I don't see how any marriage can survive one parent reporting the other to ss in these circumstances, so that may be the end of threads like this.

[Fragglewump]

I think this is just desperately sad. A blind man being spied on? A child being injured!?! Who knows how or why? The op is clearly very unhappy and frustrated but seems reluctant or unable to express why.

[Elsiequadrille]

Won't they already be known to social services if the OP attempted an overdose and nearly died?