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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

was i right to tell my ds not to apologise to this woman??

578 replies

mummyjs · 09/09/2013 21:22

my ds (4) and i were in the chemist waiting for a prescription.
my ds was stood by the door pressing the button to open it for people to come in and out and smiling at them and chatting away, people were saying than you and he was smiling and saying your welcome ect.
Anyway this older lady came in and he opened the door for him and she gave him a horrible look and barged past him. He said to her 'its nice to say thank you', which is something i drill into him so i suppose its my fault in a way. anyway she shouted at him 'how dare you speak to a adult that way' and then told me that i should control him and make him say sorry to her.
I have to admit my back was put up by the nasty tone in her voice and told her that i would not tell him to apologise, he was right, its rude not to say thank you and that a woman of her age should not need a lesson in manners from a 4 year old.
anyway she barged back out saying something along the lines of parents who dont control their kids ect.
was i being unreasonable? if he had of said anything rude to her then of course i would have made him say sorry, but i honestly dont think he was the rude one in this??

OP posts:
Elphinate · 14/09/2013 15:35

honeybunny14: Below, I am going to post a full stop.

It is used to punctuate utterances so that they make sense.

.

Use it wisely.

Elphinate · 14/09/2013 15:35

VerySmallSqueak: Yes. Yes he does. Do you have a problem with that?

VerySmallSqueak · 14/09/2013 15:36

Absolutely.
I have a real problem with that.
Shame on you.

Elphinate · 14/09/2013 15:38

Shame on me?

Oh, do us all a favour and get over yourself.

VerySmallSqueak · 14/09/2013 15:40

You're showing yourself up,Elphinate.

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 15:45

I thought mums net was a nice forum

exoticfruits · 14/09/2013 15:53

I really don't know where you got that idea from honeybuuny! Grin
In the press recently it was 'a nest of vipers '.
Generally OK if you keep off AIBU. Most people who start them are sure they are in the right.

exoticfruits · 14/09/2013 15:55

However, amazing it is rumbling on to the 6th day and it was a mountain out of a mole hill in the first place.

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 16:05

Exoticfruits no i never seen it in press but i quite beleave it now lol i agree with you though its getting blown out of proportion

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 16:06

Im a newbie though so im still getting used to it

exoticfruits · 14/09/2013 17:13

AIBU is the bunfight!
Occasionally everyone agrees that OP is not being unreasonable - but that is rare.
Sometimes it is lovely, everyone tells them they are unreasonable and they come back and say 'sorry, I can see I was being unreasonable so I will now.........' A bit sad because lots of people then just pile in without bothering to read the thread and don't know there was a change of heart 3 pages back!
More often everyone tells them they are unreasonable but they won't accept it.
The general one is like this and a split with opposing views.

You get the worst of MN with phrases like 'I don't mean to be rude but .........'!

AIBU is not for the faint hearted- other topics are far more helpful and caring( with a few exceptions).

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 17:35

Yeah i see your point its not that im faint hearted though i just think some of the comments are not justified theyre a bit nasty tbh but i suppose everyone has different veiws on this type of thing or mabey im jst nieve lol

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 17:40

Naive i mean :-)

garlicbaguette · 14/09/2013 18:11

Well, at least you've cottoned on that MN is full of spelling & grammar nazis Wink

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 19:47

Yes i have lol but that doesnt bother me its the comments about a 4 yr old child im a bit miffed at full stop lol

Therealamandaclarke · 14/09/2013 19:57

Your comments about OP's child are offensive elphinate
Even on aibu I'm surprised to see someone talking about doing that to a child.

intitgrand · 14/09/2013 20:00

..this thread about a 4 yr old CHILD ur son is still learning
..and that is exactly why his mother should have pulled him up in his rudeness and made it clear it was not acceptable to speak to adults like that., not backed him up.
If he carries this arrogant disrespectful attitude into school, he is in for a very rude awakening.

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 20:06

Agree with therealamandaclarke youve hut the nail on the head there its very offensive

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 20:08

If you havent got your mum to back you up then who will i think most mothers first reaction is to defend your child no matter what

intitgrand · 14/09/2013 20:09

'Your comments about OP's child are offensive elphinate
Even on aibu I'm surprised to see someone talking about doing that to a child.'
Why? Lots of people spank their DC.You don't , I don't but I am not offended by others who do

kali110 · 14/09/2013 20:14

Agree with you init!!i wont slap my child across the face but i will lightly smack in circumstances. I was bought up that way. I was spanked when id been really bad.(so not very often as i was a goodygoody) I still respected and adored my parents.i certainly wont chastise other parents if they want to spank.
Though can understand that maybe the other poster didnt put that in the best way!

honeybunny14 · 14/09/2013 20:17

I think it was the way it was said thats offensive

ilovesooty · 14/09/2013 20:19

i think most mothers first reaction is to defend your child no matter what

Which is why he may well be a PITA at school.

kali110 · 14/09/2013 20:27

Honey this forum can be horrible sometimes!

Therealamandaclarke · 14/09/2013 20:32

True. I don't hit my children.
I understand that some people hit their own children.

But I do think it's inappropriate to recommend hitting other ppl's children.