So upset. DP and best friend have been having a little "chat" about me.

[Babybunny88]

Before my friend "A" and I met she had been friends with my DP for years. DP and I were both mutual friends with A. That is how we met, she thought we would be a good match and introduced us 7 years ago. Fantastic.

Obviously because they have been friends for so long they occasionally text which doesn't bother me in the slightest, I know they don't have any romantically inclined feelings for each other. He has often said she is like a sister to him.

Anyway, I was playing a game on DPs iPhone while he pops round to his dbs house and a message from A popped up. I accidentally pressed it (really was an accident, as I was playing the game and hit the notice), and saw my name mentioned in the text so couldn't help reading it.

It said " Lol! do you want me talk to babybunny about it? Ill make her promise not to say anything to you about it."

Anybody seeing that message would feel inclined to read previous messages, wouldn't they? So I scrolled up and saw that supposed best friend and "d"p were talking about how much weight ive apparently gained. This is word for word how the text convo went:

A: hey, thanks for coming over last night. DH and I enjoyed seeing you both and your DD has got so big!! (We went to theirs for dinner last night)

DP: babybunny and I had a nice night as well. You cook a mean curry!

A: haha I know everybody loves my curries! Maybe though a salad would have been more healthier lol!!

DP: Ahh but who wants a salad on a Saturday night? Curry goes better with Beer! Babybunny doesn't like salads anyway.

A: yes I know... Maybe we should try to get her to like them though..before she puts on any more weight...lol...

DP: yeah maybe. ( I suspect DP didn't know what to say at this point)

A: you know I love her like crazy, but she seems to have put on a bit of weight.. Not good for her health!!

DP: Yea its been since DD was born. Do you have any suggestions? I've noticed this too but for obvious reasons can't say anything.

A: tell her to put down the pies lol!! Just joking! Talk to her about it if it were me I would like DH to tell me!

DP: are you joking? She will go apeshit. Definitely not guareenteed to put down the pies then!

A: Lol! do you want me to talk to babybunny about it? Ill make her promise not to say anything to you about it.

I am sitting here half devastated half furious! I can't believe the two of them have discussed this! Ok fair enough it wasn't for my eyes and they are probably worrying about my health but I am so upset and don't know what to say to DP when he gets back. Do i say anything to A? i already have self esteem issues and this has made me feel total and utter shit.i didn't think I was that fat. And they are both wrong, I do infact like salads!

Help? :(

Hully they've had seven years to readjust!

I think there's something very wrong if that's not time enough!

Oh stop with the show her this thread stuff. As if anyone would do that

I really would.

OP I really hope you're okay, there's a lot of v wise people on these boards day and night to hold your hand, offer virtual and and just let you rant away.

Thinking of you

When I first met DH he had a female friend like this. All over me like a rash but bitchy as hell behind my back. She was so jealous that her imagined place had been usurped she was unhinged. She was smart enough not to bitch to DH and for a while I fell for it. Then I found out. She was gone from our lives approx ten seconds later.

walter

they haven't seen any need to adjust before now

I wouldn't text her back either, any reply (apart from 'fuck off' possibly) looks like the OP's feels she should justify being upset.

The DH is so chummy with her he can sort fucking sort it.

Although even if she's not sending any of them to A, it's good to imagine the All Sorts you'd say when you're fucked off.

Pathetic isn't it KatieScarlett? Glad you managed to get rid of her!

His response to her text should have been, she's had a baby, looks even more fabulous than she did the day we met and is the most beautiful woman on the planet.

Couldn't agree more. It's not even a matter of loyalty; that's what he should genuinely think about you and have no problem saying it to anyone, friend, family or foe.

Ignore would probably work really well. The DH is more of a problem though. Is he a bit caught up with the friend?

OP

How awful, it's so hurtful and I'm sad that your partner can't understand how you feel.

Any chance A might turn up at yours? she sounds really rattled. If I were you I shouldn't have anything to do with her again.

Hope your dd is OK.

Yes absolutely I bet she is in the camp of ' oh I do get on with men more than women" !

Hully is dead right.

And showing the thread will just give him an excuse to label the OP as disloyal (she isn't, but that's not the point). I've never known anyone change their view just because a hundred people call them a cunt.

A lot of emotional investment in this coming in thick and fast so I won't add to it.

It might be worth taking a step back and considering if the insult is really worth killing two friendships over. Of course you can make him choose you if you apply the right pressure, but longstanding friends don't get made overnight and you never know when you might need support in a real crisis.

I'm guessing this post won't be well received but it's what I'd say to a rl friend.

^walter

they haven't seen any need to adjust before now^

Fair point.

I hope, if this is the case, he adjusts pretty quickly and adjusts her bitchy arse out of their relationship!

Without a doubt, I'm sure she's one of these "other women are just so bitchy, men understand me" idiots..

Ok she has just text me again saying that if I don't answer her she will drive round to my house WTF??!!

You think this woman is the OPs friend?
Really?

Go out.

Yes, BB, go out.

"Leave me alone, I'm having a bath"

Shes really stressing now isnt she!good

You must feel like shit right now bunny. They are in the wrong. If you can take your DD and go somewhere for the night so you can calm down and if possible chat with someone in rl who actually is a friend.

Failing that ask DP to give you space, you need to stick to your guns and don't let them bully you unto accepting there twisted version of the truth.

Try and stay calm so they can't paitn you as over reacting or hysterical. Clearly and calmly state why this hurt you to your DP and as for the immature bitchy thunder cunt, wait a day or two and let her stew. Then send her a short text ending the friendship. Try and make it sound reasonable so she can't use it to try and convince anyone else that the problem is with you.

Ignore. And tell your DP she'd better not show up at your doorstep! Cheeky fucking bitch!!!!!

Go out.

Or soak in the bath.

Do not engage with her whilst you are upset.

She is a cow.

Don't let her in.

If fuckhead lets her in, get yourself locked into the bathroom with a book and a bath and wait the bitch out!