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AIBU?

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Original poster

So upset. DP and best friend have been having a little "chat" about me.

999 replies

Babybunny88 · 08/09/2013 16:06

Before my friend "A" and I met she had been friends with my DP for years. DP and I were both mutual friends with A. That is how we met, she thought we would be a good match and introduced us 7 years ago. Fantastic.

Obviously because they have been friends for so long they occasionally text which doesn't bother me in the slightest, I know they don't have any romantically inclined feelings for each other. He has often said she is like a sister to him.

Anyway, I was playing a game on DPs iPhone while he pops round to his dbs house and a message from A popped up. I accidentally pressed it (really was an accident, as I was playing the game and hit the notice), and saw my name mentioned in the text so couldn't help reading it.

It said " Lol! do you want me talk to babybunny about it? Ill make her promise not to say anything to you about it."

Anybody seeing that message would feel inclined to read previous messages, wouldn't they? So I scrolled up and saw that supposed best friend and "d"p were talking about how much weight ive apparently gained. This is word for word how the text convo went:

A: hey, thanks for coming over last night. DH and I enjoyed seeing you both and your DD has got so big!! (We went to theirs for dinner last night)

DP: babybunny and I had a nice night as well. You cook a mean curry!

A: haha I know everybody loves my curries! Maybe though a salad would have been more healthier lol!!

DP: Ahh but who wants a salad on a Saturday night? Curry goes better with Beer! Babybunny doesn't like salads anyway.

A: yes I know... Maybe we should try to get her to like them though..before she puts on any more weight...lol...

DP: yeah maybe. ( I suspect DP didn't know what to say at this point)

A: you know I love her like crazy, but she seems to have put on a bit of weight.. Not good for her health!!

DP: Yea its been since DD was born. Do you have any suggestions? I've noticed this too but for obvious reasons can't say anything.

A: tell her to put down the pies lol!! Just joking! Talk to her about it if it were me I would like DH to tell me!

DP: are you joking? She will go apeshit. Definitely not guareenteed to put down the pies then!

A: Lol! do you want me to talk to babybunny about it? Ill make her promise not to say anything to you about it.

I am sitting here half devastated half furious! I can't believe the two of them have discussed this! Ok fair enough it wasn't for my eyes and they are probably worrying about my health but I am so upset and don't know what to say to DP when he gets back. Do i say anything to A? i already have self esteem issues and this has made me feel total and utter shit.i didn't think I was that fat. And they are both wrong, I do infact like salads!

Help? :(

OP posts:
cocolepew · 08/09/2013 18:35

I've never seen so many anger mnetters in one place Shock

Reply what Hully said.

FairPhyllis · 08/09/2013 18:35

As everyone has said: A is not your friend, or a friend of your relationship. She enjoys getting you DP to side with her against you.

Translation of A's text: Oh shit you found out! But I so enjoy my cosy chats exerting my influence over your DP! I'll now blame you for being oversensitive because that will deflect blame from me for being a bitch! lol! You know I'm not actually your friend and I don't like you at all, don't you?? xxxxxx

pianodoodle · 08/09/2013 18:36

Just read her text to you.

Patronising bitch Angry

She didn't care anything for you being sensitive or otherwise as you weren't supposed to find out she was talking about you like that!

Cheeky cow.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 08/09/2013 18:36

Shock at her text.

Littlegreyauditor · 08/09/2013 18:36

I would tell her to get fucked OP. See how they have turned it round to be all your fault? They were not hateful, disloyal, insensitive and having a great wee laugh at your expense, no, it was you, you see, you being oh so sensitive. Hmm

He could cool his heels at his mother's and she could start fucking running (if it were me).

josiejay · 08/09/2013 18:36

What a nasty piece of work this woman sounds like.

I wouldn't respond, it would play into her hands - she wants to portray you as moody and humourless. I really would be suspecting that she has designs on DH but maybe that's because I'm a suspicious type!

I'd be beyond furious if I were you. And not too chuffed with DH either.

MissStrawberry · 08/09/2013 18:36

So he put her first again by telling her you knew...

BeanandGone · 08/09/2013 18:37

show her the wrath of mumsnet

Show her.

There is absolutely nothing here that you have posted that undermines you in anyway.

Mumsnet is the best online community of intelligent, educated, wise, switched on women in the world, if it wasn't we wouldn't be target marketed by some of the biggest companies in the world, influence public policy and have high profile people wanting our views....all the time.

In short. Showing her this thread would demonstrate that THE WORLD thinks she's been a bastard twat cunt.

pianodoodle · 08/09/2013 18:37

You don't need to be "sensitive" to not want your so called friend and your partner discussing how to keep you off pies!

gaggiagirl · 08/09/2013 18:37

Show her this thread so we can all lol and share the banter with her.
We are all jokers here lol!
I hope she enjoys this banter; spiteful cunt! LoL!

Tabliope · 08/09/2013 18:37

Bunny if this blows over they'll carry on having their "private" conversations where you're undermined. They've probably already rolled their eyes together and said you're too sensitive. She needs cutting out your relationship completely. I'd say also your DP's but you cant' force that. However, I would tell him clearly if you ever find out he's discussed you in anyway whatsoever with her for me that would be it over and he can piss off. He can be friends with her but his loyalty has to be with you and if she digs for info he has to shut her down immediately. Fucking stupid men can never see how manipulative these bitches are.

Ezio · 08/09/2013 18:38

In short. Showing her this thread would demonstrate that THE WORLD thinks she's been a bastard twat cunt.

and thats being polite.

eatriskier · 08/09/2013 18:38

like others I'm not going to say ltb, but definitely pack him a bag and tell him where to go until he can figure out where his loyalties lie

FairPhyllis · 08/09/2013 18:39

MrsDeVere's reply is good.

LondonNinja · 08/09/2013 18:39

Yep. Do show her - and DH - this thread.

They're being ridiculously disrespectful to you.

Not acceptable.

DH needs to sort his priorities.

Serialdrinker · 08/09/2013 18:39

Fuck off you condescending cunt?

pianodoodle · 08/09/2013 18:39

And what's he messaging her giving her the heads up for like they're allies fighting against you?! Angry

KatOD · 08/09/2013 18:39

How hurtful and manipulative. Maybe just be equally patronising back and explain that you're not too sensitive, she is extremely insensitive, inappropriate and two faced. Explain this to her without giving your immature idiot of a husband the courtesy of telling him... The same courtesy he didn't afford you by going straight to her.

They've known each other since they were 13? Not surprising, as their behaviour appears to be in a rut at that juvenile level.

PiddlingWeather · 08/09/2013 18:39

I hate how shitty behaviour is excused these days, all in the name of banter.

Show her this thread so she can have a good old giggle at all the MNers who must be over-sensitive too.

StuntGirl · 08/09/2013 18:40

They're both pretty much cunts.

DSJamesHathaway · 08/09/2013 18:40

I'd reply "Don't deflect your guilt back on me. I'm not sensitive, you were being a bitch. That's not how a supportive friend brings this kind of thing up. I'd like to know how you'd react if your DP had done the same."

SomewhereBeyondTheSea · 08/09/2013 18:40

What Tabolipe said.

Rooners · 08/09/2013 18:41

Oh gosh this is awful Sad

I think in your position OP I'd not even dignify that with a response that they can then twist to suit their own agenda.

It sounds like this relationship has always contained 3 people and it's time to put a stop to that,

actually if you were me, I'd be getting rid of the other two entirely but as you're not, I don't want to jump the gun on your behalf.

I'm just so sorry for you.

serengetty · 08/09/2013 18:41

Wonder if OP can think of other times this 'friend' has belittled or manipulated her....probably loads...these people know exactly what they're doing and will never stop.

TentUpFirstBunkUpLater · 08/09/2013 18:41

Tell her to fuck off.

"My girl"

My fucking arse

Tell her to fuck off. Again.