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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 09/09/2013 15:36

My sister is diabetic and bruises very easily too.
The man could have been kicked on the site of a painful old injury, on a varicose vein, we don't know. The OP has admitted she does not know how many kicks there were.
We do know that the child found the alleged shouting so traumatic that she was touching the man's bag not long afterwards.
We also know that there were no direct consequences directly attached to the child's behaviour delivered in a way that she would have understood and associated with her actions. We know that the children can effectively do as they please on days out without consequences as they have siblings with them.
We have been treated to pages of someone who had no real interest in anyone's views of whether she was being unreasonable in the first place.

coco27 · 09/09/2013 15:50

Leaving the park or even the queue is overreacting.A 3 yr old is still learning.The Op just had to back the man up,' oh little ghost,what a horrid thing to do, you have hurt that poor man' make her apologise.Apolgise herself and then draw a line under the incident and distract her.
Some people make such heavy weather of things!

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 15:50

And they learn through consequences of their actions.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/09/2013 15:54

Coco - very reasonable.

coco27 · 09/09/2013 15:56

and when children have a close warm relationship with their parents, they want to be good.The mother's displeasure is the consequence.I have 4 dc between 8 an 18 .Maybe i have just been lucky but we have got 4 wonderfully behaved children by praising good and discussing bad.Very rarely needed to punish.

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 15:59

Fair enough, I just think 2 cases of bad behaviour annoying others in such a short case of time would IMO be enough to warrent further action because the inital talking to obviously wasn't effective.

Sallystyle · 09/09/2013 16:00

So people who weren't there have decided that her DD was kicking him on purpose?

Some of you are making awful assumptions of a child based on NO evidence whatsoever.

For all we know the man could just be an arse who got brushed by the girl and decided to flip his lid. We have no evidence that OP's child violently, repeatedly kicked this man. None.

But it's more fun isn't it? making the OP feel like shit, thinking of the worst case scenario, making assumptions about the OP's parenting is much more fun that actually thinking that you know, the child really may not have kicked him on purpose and maybe the man was just an arse.

That won't satisfy peoples needs to be bitchy and cruel.

Oblomov · 09/09/2013 16:02

quickdowntonson, yes seriously.

KittieCat · 09/09/2013 16:05

Thanks for the high praise, Downton, I am rarely referred to as a voice of reason. I have noted this auspicious occasion in my diary!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/09/2013 16:16

Yes, samu - it is far more likely that the man overreacted to being 'brushed' by the child, than that the man was understandably cross at being kicked.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 16:22

thankyou samu.

and yes he could have over reacted. why is it all likely that my daughter did kick him hard on purpose bla bla. but yet a lot of people on here don't want to see it the other way.

OP posts:

SisterMonicaJoan · 09/09/2013 16:23

I think th

Sallystyle · 09/09/2013 16:24

SDT we really don't know one way or the other.

People might want to keep that in mind before running the OP into the ground.

usualsuspect · 09/09/2013 16:32

I agree Sam.

It's much more fun to kick the OP.

Some posters have really got stuck in to the OP on this thread.

I think they need to have a word with themselves.

Akray · 09/09/2013 16:37

Who is the adult here!?

If a child kicked me in a queue (accidentally /on purpose) I would automatically move out of the way so they couldn't do it again, not stand there like a statue whilst they did this repeatedly. I might mutter to myself about their behaviour but would never shout at them. Even in a queue there is room for manoeuvre so step away.........we don't know the exact details so stop judging. Yes, if the girl did it deliberately that was wrong but the OP knows this.

KellyElly · 09/09/2013 16:40

I think the posters who are accusing this child of deliberately kicking an adult need to see the irony in the metaphorical kicking they are deliberately giving the OP. Who is behaving worse here? A three year old or adults tapping away on their keyboards? One to ponder on hey.

SilverStreak7 · 09/09/2013 16:40

Many on this Forum need to do that usualsuspects .. Some are, quite frankly, very anal and very opinionated . . Some I saw even took the piss out of the OPs spelling . . Id not like to meet some on here , Ill bet they are really not very nice people but think they are the Perfect Parents.

SilverStreak7 · 09/09/2013 16:41

Well said KellyElly

Bearbehind · 09/09/2013 16:42

I'm only posting again to get this thread up to 1000 posts so it can die a death- it is beyond words now

IceBeing · 09/09/2013 16:45

I got accused of being ridiculous because I was taking the OPs version of events over the made up versions of other posters...coz you know they were there...oh wait...

FreudiansSlipper · 09/09/2013 16:46

i am still giggling at vicious attack

agree i love mn threads like this shows why people think it is a nest of vipers one or two start and others just pile in

usualsuspect · 09/09/2013 16:51

Yes,it's a classic MN pile in.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 16:52

silver they are probably very nice people away from the computer screen

OP posts:

FlipFlopFlambe · 09/09/2013 16:52

It's the MN equivalent of a good Saturday afternoon rugby match !!

SilverStreak7 · 09/09/2013 16:55

Hmmm wouldn't be so sure about that ghostspirit

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