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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:

loopylou6 · 09/09/2013 13:52

This is the most surreal thread I have ever seen. The mob mentality out in force, taking the piss out of spelling and grammar, I've seen better behaviour in a playground

Does it make you people feel better to continuously stick the boot in?

op, I can why you would not be impressed by this man shouting at your child, if it had of been me, I would of alerted you and asked you to deal with it.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 14:05

kellyelly from now on im going to tie her legs up with a black belt just incase.

loopylou. thats what i would have thought was the right thing to do. its what i would have done as well

OP posts:

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/09/2013 14:25

".....it could have been a brush or a kick. we dont know we never saw....."

Really? You think he would have been that cross if she just brushed him with her foot? Not to mention the fact that he said she kicked him - and with all due respect, he is the best witness to what happened because a) it happened to him and b) you didn't see what happened.

And yes, taking your family out of the queue would have impacted on the rest of the family, but sometimes, as a parent, you have to make the unpopular decisions.

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 14:28

Overkill

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/09/2013 14:29

Loopylou - maybe the man did not pick the perfect-parenting option because he was irritated by being kicked and wasn't as calm and collected as impartial observers on the Internet can be!

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 14:32

People can also say over the Internet that they'd leave the theme park, leave the queue, call the police etc etc etc, anything is easy to say online

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 14:36

Thepower - I have taken DS (and others out with us) out of certain attractions in a place, or out of a queue before now if they have misbehaved. If it continued I would have had no qualms about just leaving either. TBH I thought it was a pretty standard reaction to children behaving and not listening to a first warning?

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 14:45

Leaving would be a massive over reaction and unfair on OPs other children, doesn't it cost over £100 pounds to get into chessington. It hasn't happened to me with my 3 as yet so I guess I can't be 100 percent sure but I have a gut feeling

KittieCat · 09/09/2013 14:45

It doesn't matter how many times he was kicked. What matters is the number of times he addressed the kicking.

He addressed it once, aggressively. He was wrong.

The child is three it is not acceptable that his first approach was to shout at a young child.

If he'd already spoken to Ghost and she didn't resolve the situation I'd have my sympathy for him.

Well done, Ghost for responding to the madness. YANBU.

Oblomov · 09/09/2013 14:49

Op are you new?
I find the way you post very hard to read. Your words and mentality really do not come across well.
You don't respond to posts. You don't aknowledge or answer questions.
I really don't think your posting style is doing you any favours.

I do not see shouting as violence.
I have shouted and continue to shout at both my children. Today, I did.

Do you never shout at your dd? She is 3 and she kicked someone. How to you handle her other bad behaviour?

Ds2 kicked someone in a queue. The man yelped and turned round and said , very loudly "excuse me". I was mortified and told ds2 off immediately. The fact the man had yelped and told ds2 off, was TOTALLY acceptable to me.

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 14:51

Leaving at that point would have been an over reaction but i would have left the line and not gone on that ride at that point. Punishment needs to be immediate IMO and removing them from something they are enjoying is often the best way. If not after the initial kick certainly after she carried on to misbehave and play with other peoples property.

Oblomov · 09/09/2013 14:51

I too was kicked in a queue, by a 3 year old , last year.
I was shocked as to how painful it was. I too yelped. I bruise very easily, as a diabetic, and I had a huge black bruise that was there for over 3 weeks.

quickdowntonson · 09/09/2013 14:51

This is really a bizarre thread!
I am amazed at how many people have really stuck the boot in to the OP! Three year olds are naughty sometimes, you know> The OP has never said it was ok for her child to kick the man - she has simply said it was wrong for a grown man to turn around and yell at a three year old. I for one agree with the OP.
Well done, KITTIECAT, for being a voice of reason amongst all this sanctimonious madness!!
A grown man should not shout at a three year old child - he should have spoken to the mother.

YANBU

mirandabee · 09/09/2013 14:53

As far as I understand it..
He was queuing. He was kicked. He either shouted or used the wrong tone of voice to the little girl (which was originally stated). Sounds like he got a mouthful from OP. He also had a son with SN who he was trying to look after. He moved his bag between himself and the girl. The little girl then started messing around with his bag.

Have I got this right?

quickdowntonson · 09/09/2013 14:54

Seriously???

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 14:55

that is my understanding Mranda. Although later posts apparently it was bad enough that the OP decided he had anger issues but I somehow thing it was being exaggerated by then!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/09/2013 14:55

By wouldn't she be being serious, quickdowntonson? Are you accusing her of lying?

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 15:01

Leaving the queue fair enough, leaving entirely, I don't think so. I just think OP is not BU to think that you shouldn't shout at a 3 year old that's all

MissDD1971 · 09/09/2013 15:08

Can we nominate ghostspirit for Mum of the Year Award?! pleeeeaaasssee.....

agedknees · 09/09/2013 15:13

I am a diabetic. My skin breaks easily, bruises easily. Takes ages to heal. Why question it quick down???

MissDD1971 · 09/09/2013 15:13

could we have a show of hands? if a child, or adult, kicked YOU really hard? not back of seat but on your body (and I take it, it wasn't just brushing with feet) would all of you REALLY not yelp, scream and maybe raise your voice at said angel? REALLY?!

MissDD1971 · 09/09/2013 15:15

agedknees my mum has Rheumatoid Arthritis, bruises and cuts easily due to steroids and other medication she takes. but then she was a teacher and is quite mild mannered. I doubt she'd have shouted. Me on the other hand, do I have PMT/am I hungry?! maybe I'd shout....

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 15:23

You don't need a show of hands just read RTF to see who agrees and who doesn't, surely if the toddler had booted him hard enough to cause a scream (!) of pain OP would've noticed

MissDD1971 · 09/09/2013 15:24

surely a toddler is when a child is at age 3 yes?!

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 15:25

Sorry I don't understand what you mean?

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