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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
TeaLadyExtraordinaire · 09/09/2013 11:20

littlemisswise - You have neatly summed up 34 pages - well said.

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 11:21

Lucky for littlemisswise that she can spell then Tea or she'd never receive your worthy praise

TeaLadyExtraordinaire · 09/09/2013 11:22

Indeed Thepowerof - indeed Grin

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 11:24

littlemisswise i never said i was going to ignore messages that i did not agree with. i said i was going to ignore stupid one. nasty ones. im not doing very well though

OP posts:
Fecklessdizzy · 09/09/2013 11:25

Bloody Hell, are you lot still here!

Right. Everyone's wrong.

Kid shouldn't be kicking random strangers.
Random strangers shouldn't be shouting at small children.
OP shouldn't be failing to notice random strangers being kicked by her offspring until they go off bang.
Mumsnet Vipers shouldn't be taking the piss out of OP's creative spelling.
I shouldn't be mucking around on here when there's skivving to be done.

There. Sorted.

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 11:31

Oh no Tea, agreeing with me, the classic double bluff you have confused and befuddled my poor little brain. Pompous ass

GottaPickaPocketOr2Ooo · 09/09/2013 11:32

You're not a pompous ass Thepower - are you?

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 11:38

No

Easyonthetonic · 09/09/2013 11:52

OP, unless you are going for 1,000 I'd leave it now, there really isn't anything more to be said.

SilverApples · 09/09/2013 11:54

No, don't stop her now, she's only got 139 posts to go. Then the thread is full, we can cut its head off and make sure it never resurrects as a zombie.

Bearbehind · 09/09/2013 11:54

I cannot believe this is still going!

How on earth can anyone comment on whether the man was BU or not when not even the OP knows how many times he was kicked (as she failed to see what her child was doing whilst in the confines or a narrow barricaded queue) and when her description of his reaction does not ring true with the fact that her daughter continued to antagonise him further by playing with his bag.

Yes OP, you are 100% in the right- is that what you want to hear from everyone?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 12:05

bearbehind that can be said the other way to. we dont know if the man just shouted after she brushed him with her foot it could have been a brush or a kick. we dont know we never saw. antagonise?? so i step down a step so my daughter is away from him. and he sticks his bag right near her on a step that right next to her. at her level as she is 3 and was standing on the step below the bag. why would you even put a bag down behinde you.

OP posts:
OctopusPete8 · 09/09/2013 12:06

I think he should have said to you , "your child is kicking me" that's what I would have done.
So I think his reaction was OTT.

Fecklessdizzy · 09/09/2013 12:07

Perhaps he wanted a buffer between his legs and her twitchy toes?

GottaPickaPocketOr2Ooo · 09/09/2013 12:07

why would you even put a bag down behinde you. - to stop her kicking him again I suspect !

OctopusPete8 · 09/09/2013 12:10

Wow, some people really like laying into the OP don't they, she didn't see it FGS.

And no I haven't read the first thread the first page is enough.

Bearbehind · 09/09/2013 12:14

we dont know if the man just shouted after she brushed him with her foot it could have been a brush or a kick. we dont know we never saw

So why the fuck are you still banging on about it nearly 40 pages later???

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 12:15

thankyou pete8 same as no one on here saw it. and i still think he should have spoken to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 12:16

bearbehind im just replying to the thread i am allowed.

OP posts:
GottaPickaPocketOr2Ooo · 09/09/2013 12:21

i still think he should have spoken to me. - I thought most MNers advocated speaking directly to a child, not over their heads to their parents, and treating the child as though he/she matters. He spoke directly to your child, thus following the MN rules !!

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 12:23

he did not speak he shouted.

OP posts:
WiddleAndPuke · 09/09/2013 12:42

Honestly? If someone really SHOUTED at my 3 year old I wouldn't like it, no. My hackles would have twitched.

BUT - I would have apologised to the man and seen it as a valuable lesson for my 3 year old.

Whether its a teacher telling off the wrong child at school, or an adult not being quite as nicey nicey as they're used to, or whatever, my response to the children is generally the same: suck it up. Everyone's different, not all people are nice, not everyone likes kids and if you kick someone they won't like it and might shout. I don't think 3 is too young to learn that lesson.

I bet she doesn't do it again!

GingerBlackAndOriental · 09/09/2013 12:43

Well seeing as all in sundry has decided to add their tuppence worth to this thread I will too. Grin

If I was kicked once and turned to see a 3 year old I would have ignored it.

Twice and I would have turned to see if the parent had noticed, if not I would have said to the 3 year old (nicely, and so the parent could hear) "Please don't kick me, it's not nice."

A third time, and I would (directly and sternly) to the parent say "Control your kid she keeps kicking me" and probably shook my head in exasperation and tutted while hoiking up my virtual judgey pants.

I would not have shouted at the child in the first instance. Any further kicks after that would have me raising my voice at the parent.

So in conclusion OP YANBU.

mirandabee · 09/09/2013 12:46

Ah, but how many times was he actually kicked? We don't actually know. The OP has admitted she doesn't know..

KellyElly · 09/09/2013 13:52

Ah, but how many times was he actually kicked? We don't actually know. The OP has admitted she doesn't know.. Yes, it's likely that the OP has a regular little Bruce Lee on her hands Kung Fu kicking the man in front like she's trying to qualify for her black belt Hmm