to be getting really fed up with this? Thoughts, please.

[friendslikethese]

We live in a terraced house. When I sit in the garden, I can see next door's garden clearly.

My next door neighbour is also a friend and has two little girls. The youngest is 5 years old.

We have a dog (chocolate Labrador) who is completely harmless. He does the occasional "woof!" in joy when the door first opens and he has freedom that is it - one bark, he isn't a "noisy" dog in the slightest.

However the youngest of the girls hates him - OK, can live with that. But I can't live with:

• Screaming hysterically when he is in our garden and she is in hers; crying, yelling, howling.

• Screaming hysterically if he's going for his evening walk and they are going in/out of the house at the same time.

• Screaming hysterically when she was around here one evening with her parents and sister. Dog was banished to the kitchen but on one occasion someone left the door ajar when they used the downstairs loo and he stuck his head round. Scream, scream, scream.

I broached it with my neighbour, nicely, and tried to explain that it is pretty unpleasant (I didn't use those words) - she just got defensive and said her DD wouldn't change, she has "always been scared of dogs" and for her, children come before animals.

Am I really being SO unreasonable though? Surely he's got a right to go for his walk in the evenings (he is on a lead by the way) or have a roll in the garden without being screamed at?

No, because it works for her.

And nobody's creating a better solution.

OP, you could get another dog.

i can see it from both sides tbh - she is only 5 years old & has a phobia - not her or your neighbours fault you moved in with a dog.

i can understand your frustration but she is just a tiny child. i cant see her dps enjoy the noise either.

either get used to the behaviour or move.

I mean, of course, a second dog, not get rid of the first!

Garlic, I didn't say he ran away? I said he cowers and hides behind the pram.

It's very difficult to have a kind, rational conversation with a screaming child.

Come to think of it, I wish I'd opened a book on how long it would take for this thread to turn into a pro-dog vs anti-dog brigade bun fight.

Whoever had 18.35 would have cleaned up. People who don't get dogs advocate cruelty. Choice.

I'm out.

And, I would tell her mother:

"My dog might think Ohh FFS and tottle off. But one day she'll meet a dog who might be unwell, scared, untrained etc and won't appreciate your DD screaming. Even more so if he's tied outside a shop and feels trapped".

Agree 100%. I grew up in a household with professionally trained dogs (Alsatians and labs). From an early age we were taught never to raise our arms in front of a strange dog (they think you either want to play or are about to attack them); never to scream (ditto) and never to run (ditto). With a strange dog you stand still, keep calm, use a low voice.

Let's say you move house. The new owners of your old house might have a dog, less well-trained than yours. Little girl screams at said dog, dog goes for her. Her parents need to teach her how to behave around dogs. Surely she must come across them in a park? They really are doing her no favours at all by facilitating this behaviour instead of helping her to overcome it.

Do you know if she reacts to all dogs in this way?

The other point that isn't clear (and harder to judge) is whether the girl has a 'real' phobia or if a 'dislike' has been exacerbated by the parents tacit approval of her attention seeking behaviour? After all calling the dog 'smelly' sounds like an echo of the parents' opinion rather than a fear response IYKWIM.

Either way, I can see 3 solutions:

1. Move
2. Send the dog outside every single time she is in the garden until even her parents get fed up with it - hard on the dog tho!
3. Approach the mother again with the line that it must be stressful for the little girl if this happens every time she passes a dog on the street, and it is upsetting your dd. Therefore you need to work together to help her control her fear (ie stop SCREAMING), throw in about it being dangerous if she reacted to a more aggressive dog in the same way. I suspect it's only when she is at home that her response is so OTT, otherwise her parents would be taking the problem more seriously.

Ok I'm cruel but....

Seeing as her stupid parents wont do anything, why don't you try 'flooding' the banshee kid?

Put a convincing dog teddy/statue in the garden (she can scream at that all she likes, wont upset it )

Maybe print off a few dogs face on some cardboard and stick them up on poles by your fence....

Unfortunately OP it's other dog owners, the irresponsible ones, who are to blame. Far too often, there will be someone in the park who lets their dog charge towards small children and jump at them. They never apologise but laugh and say the dog is "just being friendly" while the child is understandably very frightened. A lot of small children are now getting frightened of dogs due to this.

Come on, garlic! As I said earlier, I had a severe phobia as a child. My parents got me medical intervention for my medical problem: free desensitastion therapy, available on the NHS. That's what responsible parents do ... at least, in my view.

She sounds bloody irritating. if she is that extreme, perhaps her parents should just keep her away from your dog. Apart from anything else, given how sensitive a dog's hearing is, it must be rather unpleasant for the dog. YANBU!

'People who don't get dogs advocate cruelty'

That's not what the OP said Evie and you know it.

In that case I would suggest to the NDN that the daughter not be allowed to use the play equipment.

I also agree with the poster who said that if you can face it just stay out in the garden with your dog. She can't scream for ever.Train your dog, I guess he will get habituated anyway, but just ignore ignore ignore the screaming and do what you want to do.

Lookingforward

Shelby, the father's scared of dogs.

OP, I didn't say he ran away either He cowers and hides.

It's very difficult to have a kind, rational conversation with a screaming child. You're gonna have to learn You wanted a baby ... !

Evieanne, I said the suggestion was cruel, not you personally. And it was a cruel suggestion, whether you like or "get" dogs or not. Nowhere did I say people who don't "get" them are cruel - but no one should EVER rehome a dog because of a reason like this, and yes, I am quite angry it was suggested to me, as if my dog is the problem here - he isn't.

I did actually see NDN and her two DDs in the town centre one Saturday. Market town, lots of dogs. Her DD was fine. Who knows?

Well President no one can scream forever......

And HER child doesn't come before YOUR dog for you! The mother needs to get this sorted, it sounds like the kid is being over dramatic.

Lookingforward Just spat coffee on my keyboard now!!!

And whynw

I would definitely do it op!

How on earth can the neighbours do anything like walk along the high street to visit shops?? There are always dogs around. Are you honestly telling us that she shrieks and screams her way all along the road from the supermarket to the book shop to the clothes shop?? Or in the park? How on earth do they cope? OP are you aware if this is actually the case? I would be tempted to follow them one day to see what happens. If she really is in a state of total meltdown all along the high street then she seriously needs some help - perhaps you could approach them and say that you happened to be in the street/park and saw them and can you help to acclimatise her?

Or, if its only your dog she shrieks at......

And why would you rehome your dog just because of some kid's fear? It's like people who insist that dogs/cats are shut away when they are visiting homes with pets in. Fine if the owner offers, but totally unreasonable to ask. Pets are family members for many people!

Are you sure it's the dog she's scared of? Could it be you???