to consider a fussy diet as a big against for a potential new love

[glitternanny]

and I mean seriously restricted 2:

Proteins, one carbohydrate and the same lunch everyday.

Not necessarily RnB. I had to have a special meal prepared for my 14 year old nephew at my wedding because he only ever ate chicken and chips, but he now works in grass roots international development, travelling to some of the poorest regions of the world - pretty sure he's not allowed to insist on chicken and chips, so he must have grown out of it.

The difference between not eating meat as a veggie and because it's brown is not easy to argue. Quite a lot of vegetarians just don't eat red meat but will eat chicken. Fish is somehow OK for some veggies. ???? Veggies who wear leather?

Who knows?

Me, I'm just waiting for the day when science is sophisticated enough to detect a degree of consciousness in a plant. Hang on, Tony Abbott just got elected in Aus.

The point the OP is making is that restrictive eating could be tiresome shite in a new chap, and might be a useful indicator for kicking them to the kerb. In the same way you might bin someone for wearing socks and sandals.

It depends on the person. I have 2friends who just cook 2 different meals. I cook one meal and the choice is take it or leave it. I wouldn't want DH cooking himself a different meal because it immediately gives the DCs the wrong message.

There is a world of difference between not eating beef as a vegetarian or because it is brown. I have made it quite clear that I will cater for my DCs being vegetarian, if they want, but within that I wouldn't expect them to be picky about the vegetables, pulses eat. It would be take it or leave it.

Sorry, taking me ages to read. Friday, I don't like curry but I would go to curry house and eat it, for the sake of being sociable. Likewise, I would always eat whatever is made for me if I was at someone else's house or they cooked at mine. I wouldn't like it, but I would eat it ( unless it was tuna, the one thin I just absolutely couldn't!)

My food dislikes are my problem but thankfully it didn't put DH off - he loves his food!

Oh, and I'm a veggie on top of that

No I think not.

If everything else was fine and dandy I think it'd be that expecting perfection could be standing in the way of love.

Oh lord my MIL is the fussiest eater ever and she is really bloody rude when we eat out!

It's the reason she wasn't allowed I refused to pay for her to come on out Christmas Day lunch out as it would have been wasted and it was expensive -ish. She had to go to SILs and terrorise her whilst she was cooking

My younger SBs didn't eat dark meat as it was too chewy ... Ah bless their little mouths , they live off microwave meals now!

I think for some people fussy eating is an attention-seeking behaviour. For others it is one aspect of a more general cluster of personality traits or of psychological issues. Others just genuinely dislike a wide range of foods. Am not talking here about those with medical reasons for not eating certain foods BTW.

It is an individual's prerogative to decide they can't tolerate living with someone with fussy eating behaviours. IME it is a really bad idea to ignore your intuition on an issue like this. And like it or not, we all discriminate. There's a lot of nonsense talked about 'judgy pants' on here. It's normal and healthy to make value judgements about people you might spend a lot of time with. We can't get on with everyone, can we??

So. Assuming that the OP chap isn't this fussy because of a medical (psychological or allergy) reason, or some hidden reason like religion (belongs to the little known Church of Squash sect) or any other reason that goes beyond personal choice - the way my judgement would work would be like this:

• He's been eating the same thing day in day out for such a long time... Isn't he bored? If not why not? Is he willing to tolerate OTHER humdrum things just for an easy life? Lazy and intellectually uncurious.
• He's eating things a child would like. I bet his mum indulged his pseudo fussiness when he was growing up and now it's entrenched behaviour -AND i bet he's a mummy's boy, and she still irons his work shirts for him, and occasionally buys him a new batch of underwear when the last batch starts to look threadbare. It says that he's completely ok with not having to think for himself, and where there's someone to take responsibility for him, he sees no need to take responsibility himself
• I would worry about how he would cope with unexpected emergencies. If he needs the level of self comfort that a totally rigid diet provides... What's going to happen when i need him in a crisis? Is he just goin vto refuse to engage with that either? Flexibility and a calm attitude to 'new' things gives me peace of mind that i'm not going to be left on my own to deal with things when the chips are down.

So you can see I've made some MASSIVE sweeping generalizations, and some pretty ropey assumptions and flawed reasoning... But i think with a potential new partner you have to use the materials/evidence available to try and see the 'man behind the squash'.

Undertone I think you make some really pertinent observations. They back up my experience.

science is sophisticated enough to detect a degree of consciousness in a plant

I was reading an article the other day about plants that can do maths to keep their starch levels constant

I think everyone is missing the point with this thread. The point is not to determine precisely what degree of food fussiness is acceptable in a partner - we clearly all differ on that. The point is surely that anything, however trivial can be grounds for "thanks but no thanks", whether it's fussiness over food, voting Tory, or wearing stripy socks. You don't owe anyone a relationship. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it, and that's absolutely fine - you don't need other people's opinions about it!

But olivo if you still go the curry house and eat the curry then you are not one of the fussy eaters most people are complaining about ie people who strop or won't go to certain restaurants or act like toddlers. You just put up with eating something you're not keen on for that meal - lots of fussy eaters won't do that. So you wouldn't be someone that hot ditched I'd imagine.

And obviously you don't eat tuna if you're a veggie surely despite whether you like it or not?!

Quite a lot of vegetarians just don't eat red meat but will eat chicken

Sorry, but I really really really have to pick you up on this.

Noone, but noone, who eats any type of dead animal is in any way shape or form a vegetarian. No ifs, no buts.

One who only eats fish but not meat is a pescetarian, btw.

I hate it when people who are fussy make up "allergies" to try and justify their pickiness. Try travelling to Italy with someone who has a made up allegy to cheese.... That was fun. Just say you don't like it. Don't makeup allergies, that's pathetic.

I had a long term relationship with a fussy eater and did find that very restrictive in terms of travel and eating out because we would have to go somewhere where he could be guaranteed "his" type of food. I felt that I definitely missed out on more adventurous experiences.

I thought of this last week, in France in a beachfront shack, eating langoustine with DH because it's something that I could never have done with my previous partner. If travel and eating is something you enjoy then IME it don't go out with someone who doesn't like his peas touching his carrots.

I have a nephew who's 26 and eats only red meat, potatoes, white bread and junk food. The only food group he has been able to add to his diet since he was 2 is beer. I used to tell him his limited diet would put girls off him, but he got married this year to a young lady who can't bear any form of fruit.

His grandparents made up the following poem:

X, X, the farmer's son,
Ate no greens, not even beans.
Y, Y, the farmer's daughter,
Ate no fruit but thought she oughta.

If he's wonderful in every other way I'd stay, live and let live. BUT I bet he's crap in bed, I agree with the food = life thing and would even go so far as to say food = love. Can you give us an example of a days food? Just for a giggle if nothing else

Undertone I think you make some really pertinent observations. They back up my experience

Ditto. It's usually just a symptom of wider issues.

Surely it's just a compatability thing? If you love trying new foods and sharing food and cooking for/with people then a partner with a restricted diet would probably be offputting for you.

If you see food as fuel and don't care that much, or are happy to potter about catering for your own food likes/dislikes while accepting that your OH doesn't like/can't eat what you do, then no issue, surely?

Neither makes anyone less dateable! It just means they won't be compatible with someone who is the total opposite to them!

I find it totally bizarre when people decide "I have an aversion to this character trait, so no woman could ever find it attractive." Not everyone likes the same things as you!

Although I do agree with Undertone in principle. Behaviours don't happen in a vacuum, there's always an underlying issue/reason/cause - if this is medical then it probably won't affect their behaviour about many other things but if it's personality related then it's likely to show in other ways as well.

SaucyJack there is no need to pick me up on anything. I merely report what I have found. To me these folk are deluded nongs, but they claim to be veggies.

Cuiller please read the thread. Several posters, myself included have made exactly your point already.

I have read the thread and made the same point twice already myself but people are still banging on about vegetarianism / allergies as if they were to the point...

So why did you say "everyone is missing the point" ?

Quite a lot of vegetarians just don't eat red meat but will eat chicken

I think what you mean to say is that quite many people call themselves vegetarians even if they are not really, as they will eat chicken.

Like my friend. He would call himself a vegetarian, but was happy to eat chicken, egg and fish. And happy to eat cauliflower cheese with bacon.