to consider a fussy diet as a big against for a potential new love

[glitternanny]

and I mean seriously restricted 2:

Proteins, one carbohydrate and the same lunch everyday.

Well as a fussy vegetarian married to someone who loves meat I can say it works for us. My husband loves me even though I am fussy. I love my husband even though he loves meat.

Hugo There is much that you have said that I agree with. You are wrong about Vegans, incidentally, we don't all only socialise among ourselves (!) but you weren't mean. Can you not see how your reasonable suggestion that many people are most comfortable building lives with people who have broadly similar interests to themselves is a bit different from imputing all sorts of nasty, negative insulting character qualities to people who eat different food to you?

If I said everyone who didn't eat Seitan or Tempeh was boring, joyless, dull, bad in bed, childish ... I bet a lot of people in this thread wouldn't like that. I eat a more varied diet than most people probably because of, rather than in spite of, being vegan - but I don't demonise people who are risk averse in terms of food. And anyone who does do that is a nasty piece of work.

!!! RussiansOnTheSpree

don't be sad for me! i get huge enjoyment out of food. it's wonderful!

The big difference with food imo is:

you eat 3 meals a day. you socialise over food. you do food shopping. you cook it. a significant proportion of your life is spent dealing with food. food has a dramatic impact on your health and longevity.

so YES it is actually rather important that you're compatible with your food requirements, WHATEVER THEY MIGHT BE.

and i think that is totally reasonable.

The diet of the man from the OP is extremely restricted. It's up to him what he chooses to eat, obviously. But I wouldn't be willing to cater to him constantly. I certainly wouldn't restrict my own diet to his choices, nor would I be prepared to cook a separate meal for him every day. If he took care of all his own cooking, fine. However, I would find it such a shame not to be able to share meals together, not ever to offer a new recipe or enjoy cooking together, etc. I'm not saying I could never have a relationship with him, just musing about potential pitfalls.

As for going out to restaurants or friends' houses, it would depend on his attitude. If he cheerfully accepts that his fussiness is his own issue and eats whatever he finds appealing from the menu or the choices on offer, no problem. However, if he pulled faces, harangued others, sulked, etc., I'd beat a hasty retreat.

Russians you sound unhinged on this subject, has it hit on some kind of nerve?

Of course food is fun. We stimulate our other senses for pleasure, touch, hearing, sight and smell - why should taste be excluded from the party?

You do, tbh, Russians. Barking.

I think many of us who have no choice than to cater restricted diets, due to our own or childrens allergies or medical problems, are actually LESS patient of people who are fussy by choice. Having to do it such a pisser, people who just won't try new things or won't eat veg or whatever are even more annoying.

It's not that I won't eat vegetables. I can't. I hate the taste they will make me gag.

I have no disorders or anything, but it isn't my fault. I can't make myself like certain foods and trust me, I have tried.

My son with sensory issues is a PITA to feed and while he has a disorder I can no more help my fussy eating than he can.

I have never known a fussy adult eater who actually enjoys being that way. It is embarrassing at times and limiting. Most of us really don't want to be this way.

It wouldn't bother me.

But then I'm not a 'foodie'

God how I hate that wanky word.

samu2 - are you a super taster?

i can't bear bitter foods which means most veg. can eat them, but wouldn't choose them.

I couldn't do it, for me it would be a deal breaker.

I've heard it said people are either live to eat or eat to live types. If you're the former a lot of your entertainment, pleasure and socialisation will revolve around food and you probably couldn't live with a fussy eater. The latter wouldn't care because after all, food is fuel.

I'm the former and had a boyfriend who was a fussy eater in a ridiculous way and had so many weird habits. He'd never had a curry in his twenties but it was the pretend vomiting over foods he didn't like/had never tried that really annoyed and embarrassed me.

I do think though that sensory and ethical issues aside, a lack of willingness to try new foods or to go into it with a determination not to like it does say something about someone's personality and it's not something that would attract me.

My observation over many years is people who are odd about food are often odd about a lot of other things too.

by no means are all veg bitter, and supertaster does not mean that all veg tastes bad.
Try hypnotism.

didn't say all veg.

i enjoy:
butternut squash
peas
beans
aubergines
sweetcorn

veg i find bitter:
sprouts
courgettes
raddichio
endives

to name a few.

but you were talking to someone who eats none, and no-one asked what veg you eat.

Well Claude it's hardly surprising that veg that is supposed to taste bitter tastes bitter to you. Do you complain that marmite is too salty and watercress too peppery?

Back to the original OP, I'd be very reluctant to date a fussy eater and couldn't date someone who viewed food purely as fuel. I'm entitled to reject them just as they're entitled to reject me for being a wanky foodie.

Russians I don't think anyone is saying that everyone must like the same things and a veggie/vegan diet isn't anywhere near the same as only eating three or four things.

But you do seem to have a somewhat joyless attitude to food. It can be fun. It can be made and given with love. It isn't just fuel or everyone would be drinking meal replacement shakes.

OP bin him. If its annoying you already then it's only going to annoy you more and more.

I once taught a boy on the autistic spectrum who couldn't have any of the food on his plate touching another bit of food. Also a boy who had a massive melt down because the spaghetti Bolognese that his mum cooked him was the wrong shade of brown.

I am hoping that as they older they will develop coping mechanisms when it comes to food, but some of the comments on this thread are really horrible. And I say that as someone who will eat bloody anything.

err ok.

I have many friends who have restricted diets either because they want to or because they have to. This doesn't stop me being friends with them or inviting them round for dinner as long as they are reasonable (and they are). I think with a partner it's a little bit different.

I couldn't see an ethical vegan wanting to date me to be frank, because I'd think the first time I ordered foie gras might be an issue but I'd be willing to give it a go.

Food is important to me. If someone is open to new things (in as much as they are able), willing to give and take (DP doesn't do shellfish but went to a Michelin starred seafood restaurant with me for my birthday. They worked around his shellfish issue and we had a lovely meal. I'm sure he would've preferred a steak, but I reciprocate by cooking / eating food that isn't my first choice).

Incidentally we both have IBD, so sometimes eating out isn't an option. Hell, sometimes salad isn't an option. Sometimes what works for me (low carb) isn't what works for him (sugary drinks and starchy carbs) if we both flare. Shit happens it really really does, IBD isn't pretty and we deal with it, but I do think there's a difference between ethical restrictions, health kicks, health issues (allergies, IBD, whatever) and just being a fussy bugger.

Clearly, 10 years in if DP wants to become an ethical vegan that's fine. As long as he doesn't expect the same of me...

A deal breaker for me. I wouldn't mind them being vegetarian,but within that they would have to eat pretty much anything.

duchess once again this is not the issue posters were talking about. Amy food restrictions for ethical/medical/psychological reasons are completely valid.
I can't imagine anyone on this thread would force feed meat to a vegetarian/vegan, or want to see an autistic child have a total meltdown because they're given food they can't handle.

However, people who refuse to try food or only eat two or three things because they 'don't like it' are a pain in the arse.

My ex ate the same breakfast and lunch every single day of our 13 year marriage. I never minded, it was easy, like opening a tin of dog food every day. He ate the same dinner as the rest of us.