To leave DC's with in-laws so DP and I can have a weekend away?

[snowchic83]

DD1 will be 21 months and DD2 will be 3 months. DP and I are thinking about a weekend away in the Lake District at the beginning of October. His parents have offered to look after the DC's which I am completely happy about as they are great GP's and the girls love them. We are thinking of leaving on the Friday and coming back on the Monday.

Would you leave your baby for the weekend at 3 months (she is FF)? I am also worried that DD1 will wonder where we are and get upset and I hate the thought of her missing us (she as stayed with the ILs a few times overnight and been absolutely fine but 24 hours is a bit different to 3 days).

I have the booking open on anther tab just waiting for me to click but I feel v guilty about it and can't quite bring myself to go ahead!

Am I being over anxious about this? Should I just go ahead and book?

WWYD?

Of course you should go. Please do not listen to the naysayers - they are not in your shoes !!!

Go, enjoy and rekindle - there are adults as well as children in your marriage and the adults are entitled to time to themselves.

Your inlaws sound wonderful. Have a great time.

"If you're OK with your kids being confused and unhappy for 3 days as long as you don't have to know about it, then it's obviously a great thing to do."

My God, there's some stupid people about today !

I would be more concerned with GPs coping with 2, particularly with one so young. I think I would try 1 night with both first and not go anywhere just in case.

Our GPs regularly have DD1 for a night and have occasionally had her for 2. And I think she first spent 1 night away around 3 months (although not for long as bf). But we now have DD2 and can already see that it is going to be a big ask for them to have both for a night.

MN is a funny place at times, when a mim asks when should overnight contact with an ex take place in baby stage they are told at least one year as baby needs its mum

I personally couldnt leave them at that age and neither would i expect others to do the night time feeds just so i could have a holiday. Each to their own though.

Every set of Grandparents are different though. I'm sure they wouldn't offer if they didnt feel able to cope. My parents often have my dc to sleep, they collect them from school three nights per wk as well as looking after my other nephews and neices. My parents also took my dc away for a full week this school holidays. Like somebody once said its takes a village to raise a child, and if you are fortunate enough to have hands on gps then why not enjoy time to yourselves?

I would have happily left my children at that age with someone trustworthy.

I would have missed them maybe but two days is not long.

Take every chance for a rest you can get

specialsubject yes they have had both DDs overnight before. They are in their mid to late fifties so not too old or unfit to cope. And yes they are a childcare team which is one of the reasons why I am comfortable leaving my DCs with them.

thesecondcoming if my ILs had their way they would have my DDs at least one night a week which they offer to do on a weekly basis so i wouldn't say I was taking every chance I get. There is no way I would ever contemplate that. Yes I can see how 2 nights in 9 weeks is a lot but prior to DD2 the last time we had a night with just the two of us was NYE. Plus I don't think I said I needed time away from the kids, just that it seemed a nice idea to spend some time alone with DP. My DDs are everything to me but my DP and our relationship is important too.

"To be honest you've already had 2 complete nights off, in 9 weeks.
"

Didnt see that part, in which case YABVU. Why cant you just spend alone time when the children are in bed? If you cant cope with no freedom then perhaps having two children should have been thought about a little more.

Happymummyofone - don't be so pathetic.

Perhaps because it's nice to go out alone with your partner, not just stay in sat in front of the telly. Honestly, it can work wonders for a relationship. It's nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about one of the children waking up.
I don't think OP is saying she can't cope with the lack of freedom that comes with having 2 dc. She's just saying that a break, the 1st break in 5 years, would be nice.

happymummyofone at no point did I say I couldn't cope. Of course we spend time together when the children are in bed but I just felt somewhere other than our sofa might be nice! Both my DDs were planned and for you to suggest that maybe I shouldn't have had them just because I considered a few nights away is pretty fucking spiteful. All you had to do was tell me you thought IWBU and leave it at that.

We really look forward to our nights off, generally speaking once every 2 or so months when dSIL can have (and offers to have) our dc overnight, or when my mum is able to. It's nothing to do with wanting others to do the night feeds or of just wanting time alone, as both dc sleep 7-7 (ds is 2.5, dd is 11mo), more to do with looking forward to a break, letting our hair down, actually going out and having fun as a couple. Looking after our relationship. As I see it, a happy relationship between mum and dad = a happy atmosphere at home, therefore more relaxed children.

OP, please don't feel the need to justify yourself or your life to those on here judging you. They can all get fucked.

You take whatever you need, whenever you need. Your kids will adapt. They will not be scarred for life that you left them for 3 nights, more than likely your 12 week old won't even know you're gone!

And 2 nights away in 9 weeks? That's not too much. Even if you do delay your trip until your littlest one is 5 months, please don't listen to the naysayers on here. Trust your parenting - you know you're a good mum. You know your DH is a good dad. Trust yourself that you're making good decisions for your family, your children and your marriage.

OP ignore those posters having a pop. Ridiculous (them, not you)

What mumofboyo said.
Having time/a night away from DS's is relaxing, fun & something I'll never regret.

Just like having nights/shortbreaks without DH.

Happymumofone, are you planning/expecting to not have a night out or time away, ever, until your DC leaves home?

Seriously op ignore them. My dh and I are just planning a trip away for a long weekend to celebrate our wedding anniversary, i couldnt give a flying shite what anybody else thinks. Somebody said to me that you only borrow your children for a short time but your relationship you will have forever, it's just as important to nuture it as it is your dc.

Go for it, your kids will be in a safe, familiar environment with people that love and care for them. Don't listen to the holier than thous. Have a wonderful little break

Thanks mumofboyo, Flossie, bowlersarm and Gary.

DD1 sleeps through 7-7 and DD2 has a feed at midnight but otherwise is the same as DD1. I think looking after our relationship is important too. Things have been pretty stressful lately and we haven't been getting on particularly well and it has affected life at home.

Yes my children are 100% my responsibility. I was merely pointing out the fact that I clearly don't take every chance I get for a rest. As for fuck my inlaws, they are decent people who love their GCs and are more than happy to help us when we need/want it. I don't give them what they want and let them look after my DDs every week! Again why not just say you think I'm being unreasonable and leave it at that rather than the nasty little remarks.

Thanks to all the posters who have made me feel ok with even considering a weekend away but it doesn't matter how many nice/supportive comments you get it's always the not so nice ones that stick in your head and make you feel like crap.

Well, I think the OP, and a lot of you, are incredibly lucky to have such great people to look after you DC's, we struggle with even getting a babysitter let alone a night away. All GP's are passed so its just not an option. In 13 years we have had maybe 4 nights away, all rushed and stressful to get back because of the person looking after them!!

Although I would desperately like just one night away I think 3 months is too young. At 12 weeks they are due a growth spurt - unsettled baby, teething, and they are still getting to know mum and dad at that age. One night 2 days ok but 3 nights is just too much for DC's and GP's! As for those of you who have have left their kids to go on 7 night and 10 days holidays with DP, sorry I think that's outrageous.

I personally wouldn't leave either of the for that long, 1 night back in the morning but I wouldn't judge you each to their own. I wouldn't enjoy myself as I'd feel guilty. More about the 21month old as the 3month old has no concept of time

strokethefurrywall thank you too :)

If it makes you uneasy, why not go somewhere closer to home, leave early Friday morning (treating yourself to Maccy Ds breakfast on the way, of course) stay overnight Friday, then come back Saturday evening? Save a proper dirty weekend away for when you feel more at ease with leaving the baby?

Tad envious at your lovely sounding in-laws btw. Mine have seen the youngest 3 times in the last 15 months - for a total of about 6 hours.

Go and have a great time.