To find it amusing how women that are obsessed with how they look and are in love with themselves...

[Nonalphamum]

.......are often perceived by others to be 'very beautiful' when often they are not.

I am thinking of two examples really; the first is a mum from my DCs school. Early forties and totally obsessed with the way she looks and constantly putting 'selfies' on Facebook of herself posing. she is average looking but I know lots of women that are far prettier and more natural. Yet because she thinks she is gorgeous everyone queues up to tell her how gorgeous she is and lots of mums at the school seem to be taken in by it too 'X's mum is so beautiful'. I think they are taken in by it as she wears nice clothes, has hair extensions, fake tans, nail extensions etc.

The second is a woman I know from an online forum. Again average looking but totally in love with herself and absolutely covered in fake tan and make up, and posting constant selfies again on Facebook. She is known as the 'beautiful' one from the forum but in all honesty I think lots of other members are far prettier and more natural.

I know I'm going to be accused of being jealous, and I'm truly not. I just can't understand why people are taken in by that kind of person. It's like if a person loves themselves then everyone else assumes they must be beautiful. A bit like the Emperor's New Clothes scenario.

There is no such thing as acceptable btw,acceptable is down to the individual

I agree subliminal,if you have low self confidence you dont want attention drawn to you.If you want a reaction or attention you perfirm actions that say LOOK AT ME I STAND OUT

Limited, with that statement you are saying that all of those with low self confidence would never post a selfie.

The op hasn't even come back and explained what she meant and she doesn't really seem to even know the two women she has described in her op.

Glamour used to be a an old word for a spell. Whether you are confident or shy, you can use glamour to bewitch people. Obviously now that means fake tan and nails for some people but if they are enjoying the ritual who am I to judge. I still haven't grown out of the goth thing.

Lizzylou that simply isn't true.

A lot of people can inflate their sense of self temporarily with attention. It doesn't mean their self-esteem is healthy. Far, far, far from it..............

Zoe, I know. I was quoting another poster. Hence the bolding.
I completely agree with you

No i never said all those.Everyone is completely different.

oops sorry. !

In turn are you saying that everyone of them has low self confidence?

No.

No dya know what if you are a person who has true low self confidence you wouldnt behave like that.No you really wouldnt if you genuinely did.

Not at all. As you say, we are all different!

Just that having low self esteem doesn't necessarily preclude a person from wanting to gain positive comments/affirmations.

So we're back to you knowing how every single person with low self esteem acts are we?

Theres a difference in needing a boost and having a real issue.Im thinking of people who dress up for attention and pretend they think they look crap.Believe me I know tens of people like that from growing up.

Limited, you keep contradicting yourself!

First the broad brush "Noone with low self confidence would do that..."

Then "we are all different, we don't know everyone in the world"

Then, categorically stating that you know that no one would act in a certain way.

LimitedEditionLady you keep saying on the one hand that everyone's different (true) and then stating what people with true low self-confidence "would" or "wouldn't" do. That's why posters are getting confused.

x-post with everyone, sorry, I was not piling in on purpose.

Odd thread.

Well you are also saying you know everyone too by telling me that.no there are people who just use thisas a cloak to hide behind but there are people that want attention.

Erm. No. No I am really not!

I'm really not. I'm telling you that people act differently and you can't assume they are act the same from the same motivations.

This doesn't require knowing everyone, just knowing that people are different.

Madbuslady yes youre right.yeah i guess what im saying is that people pass off mild self issues and it gets merged with people who have really intense self confidence ussues.

Limited, I recommend you read Anne Dickson's book "a woman in your own right". It is very informative on the issues of low self-esteem and the different behaviours associated with low self-esteem. It's true not all people with low self-esteem act in the same way but are reading confidence in to behaviour where I see 'extrovert'. You can have an extrovert with low self-esteem.

Not you lizzylou i mean goth

sorry!

Yeah i guess so zoe,i do understand people are different but ive known a lot of girls in my life say they have real self confidence problems and its not that.Whereas then theres me who is scared to dress up too much etc as i dont want people to stare at me

Can you see what i think along the lines that someone who takes lots of pics of themselves and dresses to be noticed perhaps has less of an issue than someone who walks with their head down in a big baggy jumper?