To find it amusing how women that are obsessed with how they look and are in love with themselves...

[Nonalphamum]

.......are often perceived by others to be 'very beautiful' when often they are not.

I am thinking of two examples really; the first is a mum from my DCs school. Early forties and totally obsessed with the way she looks and constantly putting 'selfies' on Facebook of herself posing. she is average looking but I know lots of women that are far prettier and more natural. Yet because she thinks she is gorgeous everyone queues up to tell her how gorgeous she is and lots of mums at the school seem to be taken in by it too 'X's mum is so beautiful'. I think they are taken in by it as she wears nice clothes, has hair extensions, fake tans, nail extensions etc.

The second is a woman I know from an online forum. Again average looking but totally in love with herself and absolutely covered in fake tan and make up, and posting constant selfies again on Facebook. She is known as the 'beautiful' one from the forum but in all honesty I think lots of other members are far prettier and more natural.

I know I'm going to be accused of being jealous, and I'm truly not. I just can't understand why people are taken in by that kind of person. It's like if a person loves themselves then everyone else assumes they must be beautiful. A bit like the Emperor's New Clothes scenario.

I agree that a good number of young ladies I see these days are tanned/eye-lash extended.

I spend quite a lot of time and money on my grooming, but I like to think it's not obvious. I may be wrong.

Its awful to be nasty about ANYONE whether its someone with low self esteem or not.where do you think low self esteem more often then not branches from?
I take people as i find them,its hard not to judge someone on how they look to a certain degree because everyone judges,if they say they dont they lie.But how someone looks tells you absolutely JACK about who they are.I find ladies in burqas are very hard to judge...

It's usually the ones who are constantly putting selfies up, who are tanned/fake-nailed/slathered in makeup who are actually lacking in confidence.

I disagree. They may claim that, but it's nothing more than false modesty. Anyone who does that is fishing for compliments because they think they deserve them. Someone with true low self esteem or a lowish opinion of their own looks would not do taht - they don't put themselves forward to be judged, orht ey can just never find a photo of themselves that passes their own ridiculously high expectations of themselves.

Some people with low self esteem act that way subliminal it varies person to person

I agree subliminal,if you have low self confidence you dont want attention drawn to you.If you want a reaction or attention you perfirm actions that say LOOK AT ME I STAND OUT

"I agree subliminal,if you have low self confidence you dont want attention drawn to you."

So you can 100% guarantee that all people with low self esteem act exactly the same way?

Theres girls who do it to " fit in" with the crowd,thats not low self esteem thats dressing yourself to fit in.

My daughter is very beautiful. Yet she takes three hours to get ready, is plastered in heavy make-up, false eyelashes and thick liquid eyeliner.

But no - it's not vanity. She hates her lovely face and has dysmorphia and depression. Fakery helps for her - she says it gives her a mask to hide behind.

I understand that. But I would bet, therefore, that she is not the type to be plastering her fb page in photos of herself, taken by herself, with the only purpose being to draw attention to herself and receive compliments from others. If she does then I don't believe she can be dysmorphic. Just vain and self-absorbed and needy. There is a very thin line between the two.

And why do you think fitting in is so important to them?

Wuxiapan is right Sublima, why do people up put up selfies need validation do you think? because their self-esteem is healthy? hardly.

It's possible to temporarily inflate the ego through arguments, attention, drama, sexual approval and still have a very low self-esteem.

Oh christ, I've known girls with BDD and eating disorders, their self esteem has been rock bottom and they've posted selfies because they desperately wanted someone to tell them they were pretty. And yet you know better than their psychiatrists??

To be part of something.
I didn't say I can guarantee anything MurderofGoths. That's one of my opinions, I can have whatever opinion I want, whenever I want and it can change whenever I want. It's my right as a person.

Have the opinion, but it's a bit short sighted to think that people only act in one way.

Every single person in the world is different so noone on here will ever be right or wrong unless you know every person in the world and find out everything about them

That is right MurderofGoths. That is the point. confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing.

I'm really surprised by the number of people on this thread who don't seem to understand the difference between ego and self-esteem. It is perfectly possible to be an extrovert (which is confused with confidence very often) and insecure with a poor self-esteem, just like it's possible to be a quiet introvert with a very healthy self-esteem. I had no idea so many people didn't get this. So this thread has been one of the few lately that I feel I haven't read it all before.

You are telling me that people only act one way?

Well obviously, hence why making comments about "people with low self esteem wouldn't do X/Y/Z" is daft.

No, the opposite. I'm saying that some people with low self esteem would never dream of posting a selfie. And some would. And that posting a selfie doesn't negate them having low self esteem.

Im not arguing with you about it,what are you hoping to achieve. I've said what I think,I don't waste my time arguing.

zoe Growing up I was painfully shy, hated attention, hid away - everyone assumed I had low self esteem when I didn't.

My brother on the other hand has always been the centre of attention, life and soul of the party, and happy to make everyone look at him - he has always had painfully low self esteem, but no one believes it.

Funny how easily people can be misled.

I'm hoping that people will stop dismissing those suffering with low self esteem because they don't act in an "acceptable" way.

I havent even mentioned "selfies" I don't have FB and have no interest in it (I'm presuming this is a FB thing)I mean there will be people who dont have low self esteem and do this look for complete attention. I know this is true.

OK well good luck with that MurderOfGoths.

Sorry, maybe I'm getting confused, thought you were agreeing with subliminal about those posting selfies not having low self esteem.