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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I love my children too much to work full time..

402 replies

LostMarbles99 · 31/08/2013 20:31

AIBU to be royally pissed off at the person who said this to me today?

Am just back at work 2 weeks after birth of first baby who is now 7 months. 'Friend' was adamant that I must regret it and then proceeded to say that she loves her children too much to be working full time.

Yeah because I hate my child and can't wait to get away from him Hmm

I'm working full time as I'm the main earner and we need the money.

Why are people so insensitive?

What do you say?

OP posts:
He11y · 01/09/2013 12:40

When I was a single parent I worked part time, swallowedAfly,

Right now I have a friend who is single and having to make a massive sacrifice to be at home with her daughter.

She is doing it because it means so much to her.

I'm not saying that is right and you are wrong or vice versa - I am saying I respect you both for doing what you feel is right for you and your children.

soverylucky · 01/09/2013 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:43

It's not excusable as such but it may not have deserved the judgement in this thread.

Portofino · 01/09/2013 12:43

What sacrifice is your friend making he11y?

FreudiansSlipper · 01/09/2013 12:43

the op's friend does not respect her choice or rather the situation the op is in and the choice she is having to make that is the whole point of this thread

janey68 · 01/09/2013 12:44

'Could have put it better....'

Or- she could have just minded her own business and not felt it necessary to say anything

'Knee jerk ' verbal reactions are what young kids or immature teenagers do. They are the ones who open their mouths and say something bloody rude because they are still learning the rules of social interaction.

Nasty passive aggressiveness on the other hand is a technique which some adults spend years honing.....

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:46

My friend is giving up her home Portofino and will be living in a van.

That's extreme and further than I would go but it does show there is options outside of the usual ones iykwim?

Where there's a will there's a way.

soverylucky · 01/09/2013 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:47

We will have to agree to disagree, janey68.

soverylucky · 01/09/2013 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Delayingtactic · 01/09/2013 12:49

Soup what I meant is that some of the comebacks people have suggested are not against this woman in particular but against sahm in general, which is shit. My DH is a sahp and I hate it that people might judge him and us.

50shadesofmeh · 01/09/2013 12:49

Righto then I'll let my mortgage default and go but a van to live in then because my kids will gain so much from me being home they will forget the fact I made them live in extreme poverty.. Ok them :-/

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:49

Works two ways, soverlucky.

Maybe we can accept that when people say they made sacrifices that they really did make them and they don't live in a mansion or have a partner earning loads of money?

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:51

Delayingtactic - that was why I first posted.

Some of the posts on here have been awful to be fair and few seem to understand it is not cut and dried.

soverylucky · 01/09/2013 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:53

If you felt that was right for your family then you would do it, 50shadesofmeh.

I wouldn't dream of suggesting that is the right path for everyone.

We all do what is right for us and our family.

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:54

Said what, soverylucky?

secondchances · 01/09/2013 12:55

I couldn't imagine doing anything else now but working & looking after DD. Yes it was hard at first because I had to get used to my hours & used to the cost of childcare but DD slipped into the routine a lot quicker than me. She doesn't mind that I work, she often asks me how my day was. I'm a different person since working. I'm confident, sociable & love meeting new people now. I'd say im the happiest I've ever been. Just because im a working mother doesn't mean I love my DD any less.

mirry2 · 01/09/2013 12:55

Some mums are twats whether they're sahm or work away from home.

janey68 · 01/09/2013 12:56

There, that's telling you, 50shades.
He11y has inside knowledge of everyone's individual circumstances better than they do themselves!!

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:57

Of course it doesn't, secondchances!

He11y · 01/09/2013 12:58

I'm not sure what you mean janey68?

50shadesofmeh · 01/09/2013 12:58

I'm not sure why I didn't think of the Van idea before Janey lol.

He11y · 01/09/2013 13:00

I was asked what my friend was doing and all of a sudden the choices are work or live in a van.

Do you guys ever think outside the box?

janey68 · 01/09/2013 13:01

Absolutely 50shades! In fact I don't know why all us mums don't just go out and find a van to live in? Just not quite sure who would fund it though... Plus of course pay for our food, clothing, Internet ( which presumably He11y hasn't sacrificed!!)
Oh of course- that'll be the dads who don't love their children as much wouldn't it?

Honestly- this thread is beyond real