to hate it when women suggest their menflok are like an extra child?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

If he doesn't step up to the plate, get them to improve and stop enabling the behaviuor.

It's not rocket surgery.

I must agree with littlemog

I'm not saying all gamers are like this but the ones I have met have been lazy, juvenile and boring. Me and dh are a different generation though and weren't brought up with them.
I personally think grown men look silly playing children's games and see them as such, but its each to their own.

The implication was that gamers don't do housework because they're gaming.

Hell, I'm gaming right now!

You will know female gamers, you just don't know it. Adult women make up a higher percentage of gamers than boys 17 and under. Do you know anyone who plays Candy Crush? Bejewelled? Farmville? Angry Birds? They're a gamer.

The average age of a gamer is 30 years old and has been playing for 13 years. Adults make up 68% of all gamers. Children are very much the minority! 70% of the games in the top 10 sellers last year were rated 16 or above. Why people think games = children I don't know.

P

"I personally think grown men look silly playing children's games and see them as such, but its each to their own."
Haha, yeah, I love those well known kids games Grand Theft Auto and Gears of War in particular.

"You will know female gamers, you just don't know it."
Basically this. A lot of people don't know I play games because I feel like I'll be branded as childish if I honestly say that I've been playing a game.

Both my parents have played games since I was a kid and they're both amazing, wonderful people with hard jobs that do so much good so I find a lot of the comments in this thread staggeringly ignorant.

I think all sports are games too.

I actually think it is important for adults to play games, card games, sports whatever.
Sociable and fun and relaxing.

People who think games are for children obv haven't seen any of the top selling games. They are most definitely not designed for children and most are rated 18.

I used to be a gamer. But I got fed up of shoot 'em ups (metal gear solid, GOW etc) and the games I would like to play now (RPG's mainly) would consume too much of my time because I know that I can become obessive. Not everyone does.

Once the dc have left home I will happily return to my gaming ways.

The description of 'controller and a beer' is perfect and I am not childish or boring.

"I actually think it is important for adults to play games, card games, sports whatever."

I agree, I love any sort of game, even if I'm terrible. Articulate is a personal favourite.

Stuntgirl I don't know why you're taking this so personally. Most women don't really want to marry men who play video games obsessively.

How are people supposed to get unhelpful partners to step up to the plate?

I think going away for a long weekend helps. For starters.

No idea DuelingFanjo. Ask the op!

yeah well a lot of men say their wives nag blah blah blah and a lot of women love to tell everyone how 'hopeless' their partners are blah blah blah usually both are exaggerated.

most people have the relationship they mould with their partner that suits them both or they move on and get another one.

Oh no, I've never thought of myself as a gamer, but I've been avoiding all sorts of work today by playing Little Alchemy

And DH is enabling my lazy fuck behaviour by watching the telly, just so I don't feel I should be working because he is.

He's a considerate man.

Yay for jeansthatfit - wonderful post

when I went to uni I made good money washing students clothes, both male AND female.

At one point I even did a cooking class for those who had never been away from home before. Some people haven't cooked since school and for some people that is pre-GCSE.

I left my lazy STBXH as he would not pull his weight and used the argument that he worked full time as an excuse. He would not even wash the dishes after I'd cooked a meal, was also quick to point out anything I'd failed to do in the house, whilst spending his weekends 'doing his jobs' outside.
I refuse to let my dc see this as a blueprint for marriage. So we left. Yes, I do it all now, but I am no longer resentful of being someone else's dogsbody.
His sisters are very critical of me for having left for the above reasons (plus the verbal and emotional abuse.) From what I can gather, his dad was the person his mum and sisters fussed over, then him, so I was expected to continue that role. DS will be expected to contribute to household tasks as much as DD.

I will declare now that I have not read the whole thread but it is my honest belief that men like this are sub-functional and rocket surgery should be performed on the menflok!

I would imagine most people of either gender don't want to marry someone who does anything obsessively.

StuntGirl Obsessively worshipping the ground you walk on?

Candy Crush? Bejewelled? Farmville? Angry Birds?

I have never heard of these so I am pretty sure that I don't know anyone that plays them (unless it is in secret!).

Hang on no, my weird sister in law is on FB so she might play games on there. Hurrah! Perhaps I DO know a female gamer!

Fred Oh god, no! That would be creepy and weird.

Mog Yep they're Facebook/smartphone games.

I find the whole helpless thing doesnt sit well with me.

My husband is my carer. He does 90% of everything housewise cleaning cooking bedmaking etc etc etc. Some days I can't even lift a kettle.

He gets very very tired but it is his 'job'.

He worries about someone coming in to help me whilst hes at work and with my being vulnerable.

Its tough on us both, and particularly lonely for him I feel. But this is how he wants it as our situation currently stands.

I do tell him that if he doesnt do something well I will 'sack' him!

I am very lucky to have him and I realise others arent as fortunate.

Look. housework is not difficult. Cooking is not difficult. Looking after children is not difficult. Men can do much more difficult things. They can understand the offside rule, strip down an engine and play "Smoke on the Water" on the electric guitar (the first bit anyway). Stop enabling their helplessness, blaming their mothers and just generally letting them get away with it. It's pathetic. They are perfectly capable of being functional adult human beings.
oh, and if you get a kick out of being the only one in the family who can do those thing, imagine what would happen to your children if you were to drop dead and their father didn't know how to look after them, and grow the fuck up yourself.

Who'll hold the can? Thumby?