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AIBU?

to hate it when women suggest their menflok are like an extra child?

266 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/08/2013 22:25

If he doesn't step up to the plate, get them to improve and stop enabling the behaviuor.

It's not rocket surgery.

OP posts:

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DropYourSword · 26/08/2013 11:52

I have shaved and dipped my herd of menflok. About to fill their troughs now. [Wink]

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HappyMummyOfOne · 26/08/2013 11:52

On a houshold where there is an adult not working, its only fair that the bulk of the housework falls to that person. Not because the other person cant do it but because they are at work whilst the other adults isnt.

I dont know any men or women incapable of doing housework, some may have different standards but they can all do it.

I do think some women play to it if they dont work, they make out that their partner could not work without being home. Seems sad, i cant imagine having the opinion of DH that he could not work without me and vice versa. We are both capable of housework and booking childcare.

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WhoWhatWhereWhen · 26/08/2013 11:53

I used to be a Rocket Surgeon but business just hit the floor

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TooTabooToBoo · 26/08/2013 11:55

I haven't played into it at all actually, I left him because of it.

I agree with what you're saying generally speaking, however in this specific instance, there's a lot more back story which explains how it is more than indulgence.

I truly wish I could tell the whole story, but it is very sensitive and isn't my story to tell (plus I fear the fall out should anybody realise who I'm talking about)

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Purplerain80 · 26/08/2013 11:57

Because she could've at least tried teach him these life skills it is after all her responsibility as a parent and if she did and he still was too lazy to help or get involved then yes that's his problem. Life is sometimes easier to do it yourself tho!

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BoneyBackJefferson · 26/08/2013 12:01

I'll join differentnameforthis in laughing at some of the responses on this thread :)

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FreudiansSlipper · 26/08/2013 12:02

My reply was the purple not you

not taking about manipulation and control issues which is what is going on in your situation. I have an ex who mother said she wanted to kill herself when he moved out. He too felt he could do nothing he soon learnt he could (which of course she disapproved of). His 45 year old brother still lives at home but he hardly sees his mum after his dad died he realised how miserable she had made them all. She does have MH issues it's all a sad horrible mess

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FreudiansSlipper · 26/08/2013 12:05

I agree she should of but that is no excuse for him not doing so since he left home he made the choice not to

It is not hard but why bother if someone else is willing to do it if you are of a lazy nature

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FreudiansSlipper · 26/08/2013 12:06

Meant to write not you TooTaboo.....

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Doearwigsmakechutney · 26/08/2013 12:07

I'm not sure why it's the MIL's responsibility, rather than that of both PILs. My FIL says things like: "I can't do the washing up, I might break something". That's a bad example for him to be setting. If it's all MIL's responsibility, therein lies the problem...

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Mominatrix · 26/08/2013 12:08

I wouldn't say that my DH is an extra child, but we have different standards of cleanliness and tidiness. DH really just does not see dirt, and is happy to live in a chaotic environment - I am the opposite. Never has been a problem as we just outsource the contentious issues.

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FreudiansSlipper · 26/08/2013 12:10

or rather his mother and father (unless his father was not around) its for both parents to set an example

Am guessing his mum and dad had more traditional roles but it is still both their responsibility not just his mums

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DropYourSword · 26/08/2013 12:11

Wtf happened to my ?!

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BoneyBackJefferson · 26/08/2013 12:12

Mominatrix

But isn't that a different issue? your standards are not the same he does the work but not to your standard.

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FredFredGeorge · 26/08/2013 12:21

My DP and her siblings was never allowed to do any cooking or laundry or similar by MIL, (so it's not just a boy thing) yet she is perfectly capable of doing everything required, she obviously learnt when she moved away from home?

If the guy is moving out of a parental home where they still have everything done for them, then it sounds like a much more sane reason not to get together with them than the housework. Some actual live experience should be a pre-requisite surely?

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peteypiranha · 26/08/2013 12:38

Dh plays computer games but he can cook any dish, buys all xmas and bday presents for his family, does childcare whilst I am at work, does food shops, arranges drs appointments etc. If I went away for a week I know I would come back to the kids and house sorted, and dinner on thd table.

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peteypiranha · 26/08/2013 12:46

I also dont think working in a manual job is any excuse.

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TooTabooToBoo · 26/08/2013 13:01

Freudian - MH issues, albeit historic, at play here too, truly a sad situation but one that riles me nonetheless!

I've a female friend similar to FredFredGeorge scenario. Mother did everything and when friend moved out and married she expected her husband to do it all, even though she didn't work (pre and post children)

9 years on there's an improvement but if I were married to her I'd have divorced her by now lol.

It def works both ways.

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TooTabooToBoo · 26/08/2013 13:03

*obv she works now she has children

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Crowler · 26/08/2013 13:16

OK - coming on Mumsnet or FB is absolutely no contest for proper "gaming".

Whomever wrote this does not have a real-life gamer in their family.

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Crowler · 26/08/2013 13:17

Eh, I'd have quite a lot more sympathy for my husband if he were a manual laborer. How could you not? That's just a different league of tired when you get home from work.

Raising kids is a far sight easier than say, digging ditches.

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Capitola · 26/08/2013 13:18

I know several women have either married complete lazy cavemen or who infantilise their husbands and then complain about the fact they don't pull their weight.

They say to me 'oh you're so lucky, your husband is so good'.

Er, no. I wouldn't have married someone that wasn't going to be an equal partner in all aspects of life and I have no interest in being his maid.

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Fillyjonk75 · 26/08/2013 13:19

YANBU, one of my pet hates. My spinning class teacher referred to her husband as a baby the other day. I was glad that there was a tumbleweed after. No wonder all the men go to the other class.

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Morloth · 26/08/2013 13:27

Gamers should marry other gamers.

It is more fun.

Though can get expensive when you raise little gamers.

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Morloth · 26/08/2013 13:31

I am a real gamer.

Before we had kids we used to stay up all night on raids.

Now we have the boys it is more time limited. But I enjoy nothing more in a childfree moment than snuggling up with beer and a controller.

The trick is to make lots of money so uou can have really cool kit.