Yes, do blame the women OP, that usually works.
Things to think about. As moosey says, attitudes are not always immediately apparent. The reaction when someone complains about a partner who behaves as if they expect someone else to pick up all the 'wifework' is often a jeery 'well why did you marry them then?'
Attitudes are not always immediately apparent. People often change in a relationship, and a lot of us are not in situations or circumstances which allow the whole picture to be seen right at the start (think of all the women who 'realise' they are married to an alcoholic or an emotional abuser etc).
I think maternity leave and the division of labour that happens then HUGELY disadvantages women in the long run. Men get used to working while someone else does the majority of baby care, housework and household admin - getting them to take that up again after a good year off is often unsuccessful. Especially if the woman goes back part time or in a more junior role. All the arguments of 'yes, but you are at home more/don't earn as much' are used not to work out a fair share of tasks, but to dump it all on the woman.
It's not as simple as saying 'just tell them to change or get out.' One of the huge disappointments of my adult life has been that liberal, intelligent men, who might even call themselves feminists, STILL do not shoulder their fair share of housework and house admin. They'll buy the theory - but voluntarily clean the bathroom? No, they're too busy. Doing, y'know, important stuff.
They didn't grow up seeing it done, expecting it be done, and if they experienced it in their own home, they had an entire culture surrounding them which said 'men don't Do Domestic.' My own 'feminist' (how he describes himself) dp had, in his early 30s, no real understanding of how to go about cleaning things, or keeping them tidy, or the need to stay on top of tasks. He had the domestic skills of a student, and an incompetent one at that. He had just moved from one temporary flat share to another, never had to shoulder much of a burden, never been taught stuff in his family home - in theory, he will share household work, but he won't REMEMBER to do it, has to be asked, gets resentful, and tbh still does some of it badly, etc etc - and because it has just never been part of his cognitive landscape, he feels as he is being asked to do this huge, tiresome EXTRA thing in his life.
So get real. You want to change decades and centuries of cultural conditioning by just telling someone to do it? How marvellous. Can you end racism and homophobia while you're there, too? Ta.
And as a feminist, I'd like to point out that the idea that most men in this generation would be competent and willing executors of household duties IF ONLY IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE PESKY WOMEN MUSCLING IN AND NOT LETTING THEM DO THINGS is just anti-woman nonsense.