To think I am NOT being racist if I say I am not attracted to a Pakistani person?

[funkypigeon]

I am newly-ish single after a long marriage to a man from the Middle East.
I had a conversation with a few friends today, over coffee we got talking about types of men that we are attracted to. I said Mediterranean, Middle Eastern. Then I said I am not usually attracted to Asian men, and my friend said that was being racist.

I am shocked tbh. Am I? I've got loads of Asian friends, and colleagues. Just because I don't fancy them doesn't mean I would ever be rude or treat them differently.

Opinions please!

[musicismylife]

Mrskoala, of course it isn't :-)

[musicismylife]

Softlysoftly,

[LynetteScavo]

If you don't fancy black people you don't fancy black people.

Of course you are not racist! It's just personal preference.

If you don't want to hang out with someone just because they are black, that would be racist.

I think I am attracted to people who would produce the best babies. As were my parents.

Not wanting to shag someone, or anyone, if not racist.

I find long hair on men really unattractive. I wouldn't not give someone with long hair a job, or not want them to marry my DD because they have long hair. As long as I don't have to shag them......

[WMittens]

If you're not attracted to this person because they're Pakistani = racist.

I'm sorry, but that's a crock of shit. You cast aspersions upon a person's moral fibre because of who they are or are not attracted to? Incredulous.

A poster above stated they are attracted to tall men - would you say they are prejudiced against people afflicted by dwarfism?

[MrsKoala]

Where i live Asian means Oriental. Am i allowed to say that? Over here i think the word Oriental is considered racist. I always thought of myself as quite right on - and now i realise i'm offensive.

[EagleRiderDirk]

lynette you hairist you

[LessMissAbs]

StuntGirl If you're not attracted to this person because they're Pakistani = racist. Finding an entire race unattractive is racist.If you're not attracted to this person because they're not your type/their personality is shitty/whatever = not racist. In which case bringing their race into it is irrelevant. So bringing it up seems kinda weird...or racist

Ah well then you are moving away from phenotype to discernable cultural traits. But the cue is cultural traits. If those traits are cultural, and not specifically related to race, then how can they be racist.

For example, if one country has a much higher rate of domestic violence than average, and a person had a notion in their mind that people from that country were predisposed to domestic violence because they had come across examples, you would be arguing that domestic violence is a racial trait.

I suspect most cultural factors would be based on personal experience or close second hand experience. To give an example, if one race is deemed to be treat women poorly and that is backed up by evidence from the legal system, social structure, etc, how is that tied to race as opposed to culture? Its not an inherited trait via DNA...

Sexual preference is not covered by any racial discrimination legislation, and for good reason. It is not considered racist to have a personal preference for a sexual partner. Individualism is permitted.

[LynetteScavo]

MrsDeVere, I have written off most of the planet with my personal preferences.

[WMittens]

or not want them to marry my DD because they have long hair. As long as I don't have to shag them......

Not a pre-requisite for a mother-in-law, I believe.

[LynetteScavo]

Mind you I don't mind baldies....

[musicismylife]

Lynette, me too!!

[acer12]

I'm not attracted to any one that is'nt Caucasian.
I'm not a racist.
I also can't stand men that smoke. It's all just tastes.

[funkypigeon]

Ok, so I've worded it wrong. Thanks for all opinions except littlemogs "opinion"

[layla1976]

NOT AT ALL!!!! ... we all have a type , i'm short and very pale , with blonde hair but i love tall men, skinny men and blue eyes is my favourite, i dont find anyone attractive that is not "my type" ... either , black, white or purple with pink spots... i couldn't go out with someone who doesn't fit what i fancy..... thats not racist just picky...i'm sure many people find me ugly and some maybe find me attractive ...beauty is in the eye of the beholder and theres types for everyone.... give me alexander skarsgard (i've prob spelt that wrong)...any day i'll have him.... its a good thing we all have different tastes or a lot of us would be single forever!....i've got a friend who only dates black men....they really float her boat so when we used to go out we never fancied the same guy so it was great!!!!! ...neither of us had competition.....

[layla1976]

at the end of the day though ...the most important thing is a DECENT, GENTLEMAN who knows how to treat a lady thats most important as many guys these days dont !! ( not the ones i've met any how)

[loopydoo]

not even Naveen Andrews??

[LessMissAbs]

layla1976 at the end of the day though ...the most important thing is a DECENT, GENTLEMAN who knows how to treat a lady thats most important as many guys these days dont !! ( not the ones i've met any how)

Not really. A lot of people, myself included, look for someone physically attractive.

DH is tall, fair, lean and quite good looking. I'm short, blonde, muscly and ok. Interestingly, despite this, its pretty obvious we are different racial types.

[MrsKoala]

I didn't realise quite how much of a type i had till people couldn't tell the difference between exH and DH. People were liking all the wrong wedding pictures on facebook and whispering 'i thought she got divorced to him' and 'why has she brought her ex to the party' etc.

To me they look completely different - DH has hair and eyes probably a half tone darker and is about an inch taller - see, totally different.

[MrsKoala]

loopy - blllluuuuuueeeeeerrch. Sorry. The hair is grim.

[LynetteScavo]

loopydoo he is seriously unattractive!

[LessMissAbs]

Sorry loopydoo my preference is for more classically handsome features. His nose is too big and close to his top lip, which is thin, and I really am not attracted to black curly hair or dark eyes. I'm sure he's a nice person, and interesting though.

Morten Hacket from Aha would be more my type.

[Sleepathon]

I forgot to add I'm small, indian and DH is tall, white, blonde and gorgeous... I have always been more attracted to those that look completely opposite to me, that doesn't make me racists against my own race does it?!

[loopydoo]

I the English patient with his hair loose and in Lost with his kind heart, he is lovely. It's not all about looks

[LimitedEditionLady]

I dont find that statement really that odd,i get you,ypu dont mean to be offensive so i interpret it as that.i font find black men attractive.I just dont,i dont feel bad about it either.