To think I am NOT being racist if I say I am not attracted to a Pakistani person?

[funkypigeon]

I am newly-ish single after a long marriage to a man from the Middle East.
I had a conversation with a few friends today, over coffee we got talking about types of men that we are attracted to. I said Mediterranean, Middle Eastern. Then I said I am not usually attracted to Asian men, and my friend said that was being racist.

I am shocked tbh. Am I? I've got loads of Asian friends, and colleagues. Just because I don't fancy them doesn't mean I would ever be rude or treat them differently.

Opinions please!

YANBU. It can't be racist to not be attracted to a group of people.

Personal attraction can't be racist. Men who say they prefer blondes are not being racist, although nearly all blondes originate from Europe. Women who say they prefer dark haired men are not being racist against Scandinavians. Its just personal preference, and most people are attracted to those who look reasonably similar to themselves, or the people they meet most often. Its a human trait.

Personally, I rule out the whole of the world south of Germany, as I prefer blond or light haired men with blue or green eyes.

Theres another issue here. I was called racist yesterday because I told a Turkish guy on Facebook (worked at the hotel I stayed at with DH) I didn't want him to contact me any more and that he was annoying me. He told me that all European women were stuck up and thought themselves better than Turks.

I blocked him :-)

Well - Ikve always gone for rather manly blondes. Preferably with a sharp intellect and definitely no tattoos or piercings. 25 years ago I didn't especially go for baldies but I wouldn't swap DH :). I don't go for slender dark haired types at all and although I know some charming ntertaining black, brown, beige, chinese, japanese men I have never wanted to sleep with them.

Thing is, I've really messed up my OP. I have excellent conversations with my really lovely Pakistani, Indian colleagues and friends. One in particular makes me laugh a lot, and I enjoy his company, but I just don't want to sleep with him.

YANBU chemistry is not a logical thing.

I have never been attracted to someone who isn't white. That isn't to say that I don't think there are lots of sexy men of all races, but that (as far as I can recall) I personally have never felt the 'ping' for anyone other than white men. It's just the way I'm wired.

sure?
he's nice
phwoar

I don't fancy blondes or redheads with pale skin, I think because all my brothers fit those descriptions. I like dark and handsome myself.

I used to think I wasn't attracted to black men (African, Afro Carribean etc). Then I moved to a more ethnically diverse area (where I grew up was predominantly white/asian area) and met far more men of this ethnicity and lo and behold met quite a few I fancied the pants off found attractive.

Maybe your sample size isn't large enough?

I'm another with a limited sample size but have never been attracted to a non-white man. It's never even struck me that I could be considerd racist. What floats yer boat is what floats yer boat.

Sorry Ehric, none of those float my boat AT ALL!
bleugh

Ehric
I'm going to have to delete my browsing history now before DH sees it! lol

I think labelling an entire race unattractive is..well, weird if not racist.

Grossly misquoting there; the actual statement was:

"Then I said I am not usually attracted to Asian men"

Not racist, just ignorant - I worked in N Pakistan where you find men with blue / green eyes and light hair & white skin (some even reminded me of Polish men!). However, when one is not informed, one makes generalisations. Thus, since I know little about China, I might generalise and say I 'don't like Chinese men (since they all look alike)'.

If you said you're not attracted to people because they're Pakistani or you will never be attracted to Pakistanis...then that is based on race and therefore racist.

Yes, because anything that's based on race is automatically racist.

I think BuskersCat said it best: "If you are not attracted to women, are you sexist?"

I generally don't find Chinese or Japanese men attractive. I think this is because I only really like tall men, and they tend not to be tall.

Some Pakistani & Indian men are extremely attractive.

My partner is black, and obviously I'm very attracted to him. But equally there are lots of black men who I don't find attractive. It really is all about the individual.

Basically, if he's tall and handsome with noticeably broad shoulders, I'll like him

You sound a bit ignorant to me tbh. I would be very surprised if anyone I knew came out with something so crass.

Its not the same as saying 'I don't fancy women' and being called sexist. That is about your sexuality not your preference for skin tone, nose shape, hair type or accent etc.

No, but that's the danger when you take a statement at literal face value without getting the point, being that physical attraction is outside our conscious, rational decision making.

Question: if I said, "I'm only attracted to Asians," would I be racist?

I don't think it is racist at all. I have never once been even remotely attracted to a ginger man, it just does not do it for me at all. We all have different wank bank preferences.

littlemog

What a rude post. Why do you think I'm ignorant?

YANBU. We all have our types. Calling you a racist is really rather silly.