To think I am NOT being racist if I say I am not attracted to a Pakistani person?

[funkypigeon]

I am newly-ish single after a long marriage to a man from the Middle East.
I had a conversation with a few friends today, over coffee we got talking about types of men that we are attracted to. I said Mediterranean, Middle Eastern. Then I said I am not usually attracted to Asian men, and my friend said that was being racist.

I am shocked tbh. Am I? I've got loads of Asian friends, and colleagues. Just because I don't fancy them doesn't mean I would ever be rude or treat them differently.

Opinions please!

Racist is a harsh word.You can easily word something wrong you cant wipe away someone calling you a racist and telling others you are.If you seriously thought the OP was racist youd have some much sterner things,to say wouldnt you?i would.

I think people should be adult enough not to word something wrong, if it could sound racist. A person isn't racist, their behaviour or words can be. I don't think being called out on a racist remark is worse than being subjected to one.

littlemog - it's nothing to do with skin colour or anything like that, I just find that the typical indian or pakistani male is not attractive. I am however hugely attracted to indian or pakistani women (yes, a little bi). I have no idea why, I really don't! I'm extremely picky though, it should be said, and I used the indian/pakistani as an example. I fancy japanese men, but not chinese. Based on the "typical" geographical difference in facial features. Not because of the country or skin colour. Black guys can be super hot, but not so much the Somalian look (they have different lips), I like white guys, but not those with giant noses.. It's just taste, it's not about colour. I'd love to have a mixed race baby, as I think mixed race is the prettiest ever, but mine is going to most likely be blond or ginger!

Also not keen on freckles, despite having a huge chunk of them myself. mhmmm..racist to myself?

Sorry to drip feed, but it really grumbles me when someone suggest I judge people by skin colour. It is just silly. I must assume that the majority are aware of how facial features and body types vary according to geographical location, f.ex africans have often curly hair, asians rarely. It's not racism, it's just how it is.

Saying you are not attracted to asian men dorsnt sound racist unless you make it sound racist.
I dont find the characteristics of mecican men attractive.Am i now racist?

Mexican sorry

I'm white, and have only ever been attracted to black men... not that I don't think men of other ethnicities can't be objectively good-looking (I can tell that they are), but they just don't give me that feeling of desire when I look at them for some reason.

Weirdly, its the reverse with women (am bisexual) and have only ever been attracted to white or indian women.

Oh, and saying I'm attracted to or not attracted to someone's looks doesn't mean that's the only thing I hold important.

Its not the only thing, nor the ultimate judge of whether I date someone or not, but if we're going by looks alone, then I think most people do have a "type" they go for more than others.

Sad thing with this whole attracted / race issue is that it's all down to how you word it, and an unfortunate wording can get you in trouble. Sigh. One of those topics it's better to stear clear of IRL.

Admittedly I haven't rtft but my Pakistani man is the most gorgeous sexy motherfucker I have ever laid eyes on.

I have personally never been attracted to blonde, scandi types. Doesn't mean to say I would never be, I just generally prefer my men dark, exh has Jamaican blood.

One of my best mates used to like nothing but ginger men, well built body type with pale skin.

She's now married to a very slim dark haired man with olive skin.

Sometimes i think as soon as somebody says "asian" people do wait to point out the speaker as racist.Anyway each to their own,i fancy jason statham and my oh couldnt look any less like him....

mixed race is the prettiest ever

Sigh.

This thread continues to surprise me...

God, you go away for a few hours and it all goes insane again. There's nothing 'sad' about people having to consider what they say so they don't come across racist. It's sad that people have to listen to culturally, politically ignorant racist drivel and shrug it off because the speaker 'didn't mean it.'

Am I the only one who hopes that their children with NOT look like their mother?!

Would this have kicked off so much if the poster had said she wasn't attracted to Caucasian men?

Would this have kicked off so much if the poster had said she wasn't attracted to Caucasian men?

I love Mumsnet sometimes. Great that an actual archaeologist (Moche) turned up on the thread to argue the toss. :)

OP, no one gives a shit whom you fancy.

This thread has become silly.
We all have a 'type' we are attracted to, i don't see how op was racist but she could have better worded it to her friends.

If someone of ethnic minority said they only dated/fancied those of their own culture and didn't fancy caucasians this thread wouldn't be where it's at right now.

You're probably right, pumpkinsweetie, but the two scenarios are difficult to compare, mainly because - historically - white people haven't had to endure racism as non-white people have. If someone said to me "you can't dance because you're white," I'd say "whatever." It's not persecution. But if someone makes a sweeping generalisation about a person of colour, it has a whole legacy of oppression behind it. I don't think we can ignore that or get complacent.

It's not racist to say you are not usually sexually attracted to a particular racial type. A bit odd and blinkered perhaps, but not necessarily racist.

It is racist to use "Pakistani" as a blanket term to describe anyone from the Indian subcontinent.