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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you leave your baby unattended in their buggy

999 replies

noblegiraffe · 20/08/2013 13:17

...while you use the loo?

On another thread I mentioned not being able to get a buggy into a small cubicle and the suggestion was to leave baby outside.

Would I be overly precious in thinking 'No, I wouldn't do that'?

OP posts:
candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/08/2013 16:36

You do know that it's not a requirement to post? If you're not interested, just click the red X in the corner of your screen.

Spikeytree · 22/08/2013 16:36

Those of you wondering why it makes us so angry, do you not have something that really grabs you? This is personal for many of us and not an abstract argument on a website.

ProudAS · 22/08/2013 16:40

Everyone has a choice:

A disabled person can choose to cross their legs (condition permitting) or soil themselves

A mother with three small children (not just one baby in buggy) can choose to leave them outside the cubicle whilst she pees risking them running away or being abducted.

A shopping centre designer can choose to install family friendly loos.

Spikeytree · 22/08/2013 16:53

A person with disabilities can choose to soil themselves? FFS, it isn't a matter of people choosing to cross their legs!

Lavidaenrosa · 22/08/2013 17:06

MrsDeVere You are right. I usually do not leave my house. I have my own issues.

ProudAS · 22/08/2013 17:09

You've taken my post the wrong way Spikey.

The point I was trying to make is that if a bit of thought went into accommodating families in public loos the problem would be solved.

And BTW I am disabled.

Spikeytree · 22/08/2013 17:10

I'm sorry if you were being sarcastic, Proud, tone so often doesn't come through in the written word.

littlemisswise · 22/08/2013 17:10

Did someone really post "a disabled person can choose to soil themselves"?Shock

Really?

Fucking Hell!

Fucking, fucking hell!

littlemisswise · 22/08/2013 17:12

Oh, sorry Proud. I see you were being sarcastic! That didn't come across in your post.

I apologise for my reaction.

ProudAS · 22/08/2013 17:15

Did you just say fucking hell to a vulnerable adult little miss wise.

I'm disabled and don't know how my posts read to other people - cut me some slack.

Lavidaenrosa · 22/08/2013 17:15

As much as I would like to for all places to have a 'family loo' this is going to be difficult. Look at the tube map, most stations are not wheelchair friendly.

I have only noticed this since I have to use a pushchair and hopefully will be a couple of years only, but people on wheelchairs do not have this luxury. Yet I do not see any campaign to get at least the most important tube stations wheelchair friendly.

ProudAS · 22/08/2013 17:23

Does it matter if everywhere has a family loo so long as there are enough about (and a mobile app to tell parents where they are).

The tube is 150 years old and was not built for either wheelchairs or prams. There would be no excuse for not making a newly built station or Neely built/refurbished shopping toilets accessible however.

pumpkinsweetie · 22/08/2013 17:25

I agree completely Lavid, i don't often use the tube but when last on it u found it absolutely shocking that the only thing available to people at 99 percent of the tube stations was a escalatorShock
Bad enough for me with a pram but it made me really think about those that are disabled and i was rather angry that disabled people have such limited access to the tube.

MrsDeVere · 22/08/2013 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spikeytree · 22/08/2013 17:30

Yes, Boris abandoned a commitment to have 25 % of stations 'step free' by 2013.

here

mumofoneandonebakingnicely · 22/08/2013 17:35

No not even for one minute there are some werdios out there,

BangOn · 22/08/2013 17:45

Where i live, most of the disabled toilets are disabled/baby change anyway. Really don't think most disabled people would begrudge a parent who chose to use the loo without also changing their dc's nappy. If anything they'd probably be pleased as the average nappy change time far exceeds that of a quick wee ime.

ProudAS · 22/08/2013 17:47

Putting baby change unit in disabled loo was to avoid problem of fathers looking after babies and changing unit being in ladies so inclusion did come into it. Completely separate facility would probably be more practical though.

MrsDeVere · 22/08/2013 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lavidaenrosa · 22/08/2013 17:49

MrsDeVere like I said, I have found all the disabled toilets with a baby changing sign in place. In any case, this was not what the OP was asking.

Lavidaenrosa · 22/08/2013 17:56

Bangon You are right. I remember being heavily pregnant and a disabled lady in a wheelchair asked me to go before her (we were queuing for the train tickets). I asked her if she was sure, she said she wanted me to go first because she knew how difficult was that stage of pregnancy ready to drop (bless her).

olidusUrsus · 22/08/2013 18:17

FWIW the first post to mention disabled toilets was MissMuseli who holds the early title of being only the fourth contributor to the thread. Fanjo's post was written at least 20 minutes later.

By that time, 9 other posters had written that they preferred to use a disabled toilet in order to be able to take their pram into the cubicle.

Only 3 of those 10 in total mentioned whether or not if the toilet being either disabled or family friendly would influence their decision, and we all know how it spiralled from there...

This was my first post:

*Seconding the posts of MrsDeVere and Dawndonnaagain.

Please do not use the disabled toilets unless you are disabled.

Of course if you are doubly incontinent after giving birth you are entitled to use the disabled loos, not every disabled person is handed a blue badge upon diagnosis/accident/injury, nor is every disability permanent.

It's not okay just because there is no one waiting when you leave the disabled cubicle, either.*

Personally I think it's plenty polite enough. I think each one of us (posters who are carers & disabled posters) was polite at the beginning. There was significantly less awareness, understanding or respect from the mothers of children whose prams they wanted to be in the cubicle with them.

olidusUrsus · 22/08/2013 18:21

Pumpkin you keep on wittering that you can't believe how the thread is still continuing. Don't join in if the topic is no longer of interest of you. Some posters feel inclined to carry on because new posters have added into the mix and compounded some ignorant views that had been expressed by some & addressed by others before. Is that so hard to understand?

jacks365 · 22/08/2013 18:40

Can I horrify everyone with a case of unattended baby that was totally unreasonable. In a shopping centre today there was a baby left in a pram near the lift I was waiting for there is also a seating area for the cafe there, the toilets are down a long corridor and completely out of sight but that was where the mother came from, along with the father so despite both parents being there they still abandoned the baby when they could have taken turns.

In no way was what they did acceptable.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/08/2013 18:43

Thanks olidus

I do always seem to be the scapegoat for such things.

I have been on threads where I have been perfectly polite and nice then get hassle for being aggressive because others have been and we seem to get seen as some homogenous 'SN brigade', as has been said many times.

It gets very tedious.

Every poster I know affected by disability in any way, is patient and explains nicely first on these threads, then gets annoyed and frustrated after pages of ignorance.

Anyway I said had left the thread and indeed am off out for dinner (yay for respite)