To think this is a little bit mean spirited

[TeaAndABiscuit]

A friend asked me along to a spa day. Her and her husband are very well off (they work hard, don't begrudge them that at all) but have a bit of a reputation for being tight fisted (always last to the bar etc). It was quite expensive but I thought a nice treat. We came to pay and she said she'd cleared it already and I just owed her for mine as she had a voucher for hers. If it had been me I would have said up front I had a voucher and needed someone to go with and I would have shared the voucher. I didn't necessarily expect her to do that but I think she should have said something before booking. I can be over sensitive so I accept this might be the case here but this is a long line of similar situations. Not an earth shattering problem I know!

I've been to lots of things where she has booked and I've paid her. I've never checked prices because it wouldn't ever cross my mind to with a friend. What is the point if being friends with someone if you can't trust them?

Sounds like a drain to me......

If the voucher was a gift to her, YABU. I would never expect to share someone else's gift. She never promised to pay for you.

But it sounds like you don't really want to continue being friends with her anyway, so I would let the friendship go. It's not fair on either of you if you continue to be friends but with so much resentment building up.

Can I just reiterate I never expected the voucher to be shared, just declared.

She should have told you that she had a voucher and needed someone to go with.

If it was a BOGOF then that is incredibly cheeky. I would check Groupon myself, and review the T&Cs

Skint friends? No problem. Tight friends? Dump them. It's about the attitude. Their gain at the expense of someone else. It stinks.

Nagoo, that is exactly my attitude. I just couldn't have done that.
MissStrawberry-I didn't say the prices were online and I never saw a receipt . I would find it hard to believe I paid for some of hers as well though.

I wouldn't mind paying my share if you had a voucher, but I would feel used if you weren't upfront about it.

If it were a gift to you, then I wouldn't dream of sharing. But if it was something like Groupon then I would share with you, after all, I'd have no benefit at all if you didn't go.

I'm stop posting now, I seem to be running with this subject... :o

I thought you said that she said the prices were online.

It was originally a gift for her and her husband to go for afternoon tea which she didn't want so she converted it to a spa half day which I have no problem with. The problem I have is that she told me this when I went to pay my share and she said it had been cleared and then said she had a voucher which I thought was a bit mean spirited.

Cheeky cow !! She should have halved your prices each and shared the voucher. Very mean indeed.

^^

I wasn't there MissStrawberry.
I know nothing.

I think you misread my post

You are being unreasonable to expect a freebie or half of your day paid.

I did, Pagwatch . I got confused.

I blame sleep deprivation.

It is looking more like you were free but she thought you should still pay even though she couldn't have gone without you.

In all honesty, I really don't see the issue here. We've established it wasn't a BOGOF but a gift. Yes, I would have normally said 'ooh, so-and-so got me a voucher for a spa day, do you want to come?' but I certainly wouldn't be that offended if someone didn't.

Even if she paid by cash, how were you to know that someone else hadn't said 'here, have £69 and treat yourself to a spa day' beforehand?

So, I think YABU about this particular incident though your sensitivity and other comments suggest there is something deeper going on here and you think they are 'takers' in their friendships?

It's fine MissStrawberry

I am sory my hypothetical burble confused you

If it was her gift, YABU.

It looks as though you need a reason to part company.

However, this one isn't it. She hasn't been unreasonable.

Pagwatch, I remembered it had been said and assumed it was by the OP!

As I have said many times I didn't expect a freebie. As previously said if it had been me I would have said I had a voucher before we booked and I would have shared it. When I told my other half about this he burst out laughing as this is typical behaviour in relation to money with this person. I accept that I am a bit over sensitive due to previous incidences. Not really a lot else to add except I won't be going again.

But it was a gift to her. If you had given her a gift would you want her to share it with someone you don't know?

Her having a gift voucher made no difference to the amount you had to pay so what does it matter if she used a voucher or cash for her half?

It does sound like you should end the friendship anyway, you aren't happy, but she did nothing wrong here.

Everlong I didn't expect her to! The point I'm making is she should have been upfront about having it-most people would have done. Had it have been the other way round she would have been livid and would probably have looked up all the prices and deals. My bad for not doing that.