To think some modern parents make unnecessary work for themselves

[Vintageclock]

My aunt, who reared ten children and at one time had five children under four years of age (including 2 yr old twins) has just spent a day minding her first grandchild and said it was harder work than anything she had experienced before. The baby came with a list of instructions as long as your arm, a huge bag full of lotion for this and ointment for that, a rigid timetable of naps and snacks and drinks, rules about sterilising anything the child looked at, and complicated sleeping bags and play suits to be zipped in and out of.
I have seen this with a few friends as well - they can't meet you for lunch until 2.30 because the baby has to be fed at 1.28 on the dot, no one can visit between 3.00 and 4.30 because that's nap time and the baby will wake up at the slightest noise, are constantly pulling things out of their baby's hands because of 'germs' etc etc etc.

AIBU to think some mums just go over the top, obsess about every detail of rearing a child. and are turning it into an overly complicated science when previous generations managed perfectly well without half of the nonsense some modern parents go on with?

why, thank you, Emily.

Maybe the dil thought she was being helpful and that her mil would have an easier time and the baby would be more settled if the mil knew how many naps etc the baby was used to. Perhaps the lotion and ointment were needed for eczema. I'm assuming the mum that your aunt was bitching about was the dil and not her daughter!

Welcome

complicated sleeping bags and play suits to be zipped in and out of.

This is just dislike of change.

There is nothing complicated about a baby sleeping bag, and there certainly isn't a less complicated alternative used by previous generations.

Complicated?
Have you ever tried the double wrapping and pinning involved in a traditional terry towelling nappy with safety pins and waterproof pants?
It's like trying to put an octopus in origami knockers twice.
That was complicated, sleeping bags and babygros are simplicity itself and much less leaky.

knockers?

knickers.

In my day, clever gels did Latin, dim gels learned to type. Guess who's sniggering now?

I love first time mums and their wonderful worries . I love how they can obsess every detail. I was one too, a long time ago. Shouldn't we celebrate this lioness / neurotic phase as a wonderful never to be repeated experience? I can't be the only third time mum who loves talking to new mums and seeing them in action. I am nostalgic about how they react to their babies.

We all know that momentum dissipates in time and is replaced by something more relaxed and maintainable.

Wow daytoday - aren't you getting vertigo up there? From my 2nd time mum perspective, I could only aspire to being that condescending...

I agree Longtalljosie

I was a nervous wreck when DD was little. A good friend of mine has a newborn and she is a nervous wreck.

Not all women have worry free babies (in both of our cases we were justified in being worried). Not all women are instinctive mothers - motherhood didn't come naturally to me. I had to look things up in books (pre broadband days) as I didn't know anyone I could ask. Not all women are easy going and laid back.

Don't mean to come across as condescending so apologies there.

Not looking down on anyone - I find the whole new baby / new mum vibe lovely and nostalgic.

My ds even now age 7 has a strict routine, the only person who I trust is MIL for not messing it up so she is the only person I trust with him.

I'm often surprised that big prams get a pasting for being a modern thing - surely noone who's ever seen a silver cross pram could genuinely think they were small? Having seen one from the 1950s that has recently been restored, I'm genuinely surprised any of the woman from that generation managed to get through the baby years with all 10 fingers! I can only presume they put them together and then didn't fold them down often...

Plus while small umbrella fold buggies so beloved on here are great if you don't walk much, push one for more than 2 hours compared to a bigger wheeled buggy and you really feel the difference. We borrowed one for holiday thinking it would be easier than taking our big buggy, huge mistake, it takes effort to push those, you feel it in your arms, legs and back, the big wheeled buggy doesn't much harder to push than just walking yourself. (I was warned not to try to take it off road, again, fine if you live in a city and never go off road, but we don't live like that).

Just occured to me, the fact that umbrella fold buggies are like having a work out to push, that might be why some mummies snap back into shape so quickly, if just popping to the shops is like a gym session then it's hardly surprising you shift the mummy tummy so quickly... (debating binning my easy to push buggy for something rather smaller wheeled and wearing my old jeans sooner...)

I used to push a double umbrella buggy up and down hills during dog walks for miles and miles. I was fit and it was great exercise and I lost baby weight very easily. We live in the country. I could only use it on the lanes, but it (and the single) were wonderful. And so easy on the bus.

Ah well maybe I misunderstood

One thing that I think was easier for my parents' generation is that folk put babies to sleep on their tummies and in their own room from a very young age so they slept better at night. I suspect fewer mothers breastfed then too?

The sleeping bag thing is just familiarity surely. I would react similarly if I had to change a terries nappy!

You may be right corinthian, the advice was to lie DD on her tummy and I was in a minority when I breast-fed, it was seen as a very 'hippy' thing to do.
But many homes had no central heating, or didn't leave it on overnight either, so no over-heated rooms.

Dontmindifido - Think it depends on you area. We live in a hilly area and I could push a stroller miles and miles, but I had a big buggy for 1 month and it was awful so heavy before you have baby in. I tried again with a different buggy with dd2 but for my next its strollers all the way.

DH is a left hander and manages the sleeping bags fine. He looked puzzled when I asked if they were a leftie issue. We have some that zip up the middle, some round the side.

marking place with

zing!

Ems to you too!

My nephew had a sleeping bag and part of the problem was that he hated being in it when he was still lively and active as it hampered his movements but if you started zipping him into it when he was getting drowsy it would wake him up again.

OP YANBU. Some parents do go a bit overboard. Not really talking about nervous first time mums,but parents who just make a big swinging deal out of everything; disrupt everyone the minute they arrive anywhere with their complicated equipment and wanting to take over the kitchen to sterilise stuff and make up special mixes when the hostess is trying to cook a meal and basically expect everything to revolve around their schedule and routine, refusing to stray from it an inch in order to accommodate the circumstances.