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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To want to leave this website for making me think about that one.

599 replies

filee777 · 13/08/2013 11:31

It's really really upset me, I've had some great support on this forum but I think I have to be off.

Such a shame.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/08/2013 21:16

About 5yrs ago my eldest DS was looking into joining the Army (as it turned out, he didn't) and the guy at the Army recruitment office gave me the ARRSE web address.

He said I might want to use it to speak to other parents whose sons and daughters have joined up Confused

Bloody glad I didn't now.

SinisterSal · 13/08/2013 21:16

It probably is just a nest of nasty trolls with diseased minds.

But I get why OP is upset. They might be pathetic fantasists on that thread. But some people are committing atrocities against innocent civilians and children. this shit goes on
Empathy is a normal response to that. I am sure we can all think of times when we have had an overwhelming emotional reaction to something we've seen or heard - it just means we are human.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 13/08/2013 21:17

SinisterSal

Not uptight at all, not sure where that thought had come from.

Commenting on messages is normal, is it not??

TabithaStephens · 13/08/2013 21:17

This is one of the other threads on the section:

Web tributes to Wakefield dog killed by baby

Reuters Newsire:

Friends of 1yr old Rottweiler called Satan have posted tributes to him on social networking site BEBO after he was killed by a two & a half year old baby in Wakefield. The baby boy Hugo was later destroyed with a Kango Hammer Tool by Police Community Support Officers as the local armed response unit was defending a Pakistani Flag over at Bradford Town Hall.

Hugo's 17yr old mother Katie also paid tributes to her son. "He was an ordinary little boy. I had left him wiv me cousin whilst me and my biatches had popped into town to by scrunchies, chewing gum & large hoopy earings from Elizabeth Duke".

Apparantly Hugo & Satan had previously got on well and often slept together & shared dog biscuits if the Giro was late. It is believed that the dispute was over a squeezy toy shaped like a bone.

Satan's father Whiskey said that he was comforted by messages of sympathy posted on Bebo from their friends and family. It is expected to be a large funeral with guests such as Lassie, Shep, K9 & 101 Dalmations. Cremation will take place at Dewsbury RSPCA followed by Tea & Bones.

RIP Satan
MrsBW · 13/08/2013 21:19

I am very aware that the armed forces engage in such conduct. It doesn't so much shock me as upset me, deeply. I do not support the forces, I don't agree with men and women being paid to kill and being labelled 'Heros' blindly. I did not appreciate being a part of a website that wanted to engage with human beings that found the conduct of (some) of our armed forces as funny or manly

That, right there, has to rank as Number 1 in my 'biggest drivel ever posted on MN'

How fucking dare you, OP, generalise to that extent about Britain's Armed Forces? How dare you call my husband a rapist???

You disgust me.

SinisterSal · 13/08/2013 21:20

It probably came from the post where you said that being upset at the thought child rape etc was the same as boasting about child rape etc, and then you called her an idiot.

'filee you have wrecked your own thread and revealed yourself to be similar in mindset to the idiots from aarse.

Idiot!'

That seems pretty ott to me.

LtEveDallas · 13/08/2013 21:20

There are some decent posts/posters on ArRSe. Those posters stay away from the dickheads in the BadgersArrse, NAAFI Bar sections etc. there are those that give advice, assistance and camaraderie - very much like MN and the difference between 'Relationships' and 'AIBU'. It would be wrong to judge a whole website on what some wankers post in some separate sections.

You do not have to be in the military or in any way connected with the military to post on ArRSe. Same as you don't need to be a parent or a mum to post on 'mums'net.

You also don't need to tell the truth to post on ArRSe. Nor on MN, remember TypeandWank? JudgeFlounce? Extended? Boxroom? DevilWearsPrimark ... and on, and on, and on.

poppingin1 · 13/08/2013 21:22

I think the OP was horridly lambasted by the posters on here.

MN bullying at its best.

NiceTabard · 13/08/2013 21:22

Not sure what your point is there tabitha.

MN and even sections within have different types of threads, some funny, some serious, some a mix.

If you go and read the memories of Kenya thread, you will see that many of them appear to be very straightforward, well, memories of kenya. Including a rather nice snap of a couple of soldiers sitting on the beach looking at the sea. And someone reminiscing about sunburn.

I read the first page and then skipped around a couple of others but some of it is so grim I can't read more, it's not really good for my state of mind.

Still, go and read it, you will see that it is by no means a "joke" thread.

Secretswitch · 13/08/2013 21:22

As with any anonymous Internet forum it is impossible to know whether what someone is posting is fantasy or fiction. Half the things posted on AIBU or relationship make me shake my head in disbelief. Becoming emotionally invested in something posted on the internet is very easy to do. I know when I find my face getting hot and red, it is time to put my iPad to bed.

SinisterSal · 13/08/2013 21:26

Whether those posters actually committed the atrocities or not is kind of beside the point in a way. Someone is doing them, that's the upsetting part, at least that what I got from OP.

poppin I agree

LadyBeagleEyes · 13/08/2013 21:29

The difference between MN and Arrse is that posts that are totally beyond of the pale are immedietly reported and usually banned.
And we don't have moderators, just decent human beings.

MrsBW · 13/08/2013 21:29

Whether those posters actually committed the atrocities or not is kind of beside the point in a way. Someone is doing them, that's the upsetting part

How do you know?

TabithaStephens · 13/08/2013 21:33

I think what a mum regards as "beyond the pale" and what a solder regards as "beyond the pale" are two very different things. And I know that's generalising but I think it's true.

Should we ban films, books etc that depict atrocities?

YouStayClassySanDiego · 13/08/2013 21:35

By her own admission OP clicked on a thread that she knew she shouldn't have and which caused her huge anguish.

To prevent her upset state of mind being further upset she could have let it die but she didn't.

She went on a rant which was responded to.

RabbitIssue · 13/08/2013 21:36

Tabitha - how are films and books the same as a poster saying they raped a child? I'm not following your logic.

MN may have AIBU which is different in tone to the rest but even there no one runs around talking about children they raped and 'whores' they beat do they???

NiceTabard · 13/08/2013 21:37

It's in the news from time to time, and documentaries, and occasionally through action taken by the armed forces or criminal courts, MrsBW.

That armed forces from all countries contain people who do terrible terrible things from time to time is indisputable. That armed forces from all countries have a tendency to cover up said activities is also not in question.

What is the best question to ask is, what can be done about it. Here, in the US, in the UN peacekeeping forces and all the others. It is unconscionable that people sent in to fight an enemy / help people sometimes act in such ways.

Nancy66 · 13/08/2013 21:43

Nicetabard - it's also in the news that teachers, lawyers, doctors, nurses, priests and just about members of every profession you care to mention also rape, kill and abuse.

It doesn't mean they're all at it.

NiceTabard · 13/08/2013 21:44

No of course they're not all at it Hmm

However I haven't seen a website for teachers or nurses which contains content of the type that has upset the OP so.

Priests might have a secret vatican approved one, maybe.

Boreoff · 13/08/2013 21:48

Well said nancy. We all agree things said by some of the arrse members are vile and very disturbing but this is turning into a military bashing thread.

Very unfair on the mostly decent people that risk and lose their life's for our country.

Nancy66 · 13/08/2013 21:53

I've seen websites run by air traffic controllers - laughing about how many people they nearly killed.

everything you read on the internet is prob 50 per cent bollocks. Fragile little flowers like the OP are best off joining a knitting circle instead.

MrsBW · 13/08/2013 21:54

Some of the ARrSe members are utterly vile

Some most of them are never served bullshitters.

A lot of what they say s utter bollocks and designed to purely piss people off.

Sometimes it works.

MrsBW · 13/08/2013 21:54

is utter bollocks

Feenie · 13/08/2013 21:56

I've seen websites run by air traffic controllers - laughing about how many people they nearly killed.

Websites - plural? How??? Confused

NiceTabard · 13/08/2013 21:56

Boreoff some of the things done by the military have been vile and very disturbing.

There is no reason beyond wishful thinking to say that the arsse posts are fantasy. There is plenty of evidence that things like this go on, and so when someone says they have done it...

Surely pretending that there is no problem, and to not make a fuss and to put up with it and so on is doing a huge disservice to the people who are serving with these men / in these environments who don't feel that they can speak out as it's all a bit of a laugh or something.

Armed forces around the world have always had records of abuse and the forces have always tried to cover it up / silence people. This is just a fact. Some shocking stories have come out of the US and also the UK. And the UN. It's not "armed forces bashing" it's "identifying a problem and not wanting to leave the status quo".

If there are men on that site laughing about debasing women then chances are that's what they did. Before sitting on the beach and after getting the sunburn.