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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask my dh to stop making us look like we're trashy

251 replies

Doubtfuldaphne · 08/08/2013 21:04

Just moved to a very quiet village in a street with rows of cottages. All you can hear is sheep in the distance, maybe the odd church bell.
I'm quite a quiet person anyway and although my two young children can be noisy, they're in bed by 8.
My dh on the other hand, likes to play his music in the garage while he's
'Sorting it out' with main garage door open in to the street. It's not really really loud but its louder than I feel comfortable with! I've told him before about this and its caused stupid arguments. He can't see what my problem is. I don't like the way as soon as we move in, I feel everyone else's peace and quiet is possibly being ruined by this. I just don't get why the garage door has to be open, making it easier for everyone to hear
The music and see what he's up to in there and people can see all our stuff! (Just moved so a lot of our belongings are in there)
He's also taken to sitting on the wall outside our house with a pint. This embarrasses me. Why?

OP posts:
LemonPeculiarJones · 09/08/2013 11:03

Fuck all to do with class. This is about being considerate to those around you. Or not.

Silverfoxballs · 09/08/2013 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jennymac · 09/08/2013 11:07

I'd be annoyed too. More about the music - drives me mad having to listen to other people's music - especially if I am in my own house! Will probably get flamed for this but I do think sitting on a wall drinking a pint looks a bit common. Sorry.

TooMuchRain · 09/08/2013 11:11

As a neighbour, the only thing that would bother me is the noise - I love music but I think it is totally inconsiderate to play music so loud that other people are forced to listen to it too.

BadLad · 09/08/2013 11:12

The music would piss me off if I were a neighbour - I hate other people forcing their choice of music onto me, no matter how much I like the music.

Drinking a pint sitting on the wall wouldn't actually bother me, but I probably would think it looked a bit trashy, a bit like Onslow in keeping up appearances. Can he not sit on a chair in the garden and drink it? So much more sophistiqué.

Beastofburden · 09/08/2013 11:12

What's a pearl clutcher?

OfficerMeow · 09/08/2013 11:14

Imagine a middle class sterotype hysterically saying 'wont somebody please think of the children' wearing pearls and clutching at them. Like Rev.Lovejoys wife from The Simpsons

MrsKeithRichards · 09/08/2013 11:14

Not if it's an armchair badlad

LemonPeculiarJones · 09/08/2013 11:16

Someone who has an opposing opinion to your own, beast Wink

Nah, is supposed to conjure up images of 'outraged-from-Tunbridge-wells' types in twinsets, clutching at their pearls and gasping at perceived improprieties.

Not relevant here.

Original poster
Doubtfuldaphne · 09/08/2013 11:26

We're off on holiday today so I will try to bring it up and have a civilised talk. When back I will talk to the neighbours.
Just to be clear it wasn't blasting out but I feel it was too loud. We are very different to everyone else in the street as the only young family and I hope so much things don't go downhill just because my dh can't think of others

OP posts:
thornrose · 09/08/2013 11:28

Why do you think your neighbours are all snobs OP?

What do they do/say that makes you think that?

frogwatcher42 · 09/08/2013 11:45

This is taken from a Cotswold council website :

On average 44% of requests by the public to the Council?s environmental protection team relate to noise. Nearly half of these complaints relate to noise from loud music systems, televisions and radios, barking dogs, slamming doors, DIY, parties and fireworks.

The environmental protection team investigates all complaints and resolves most of them by giving advice, but where necessary legal notices can be served requiring people to stop causing a noise nuisance.

For continuing nuisances, court action may be taken. Magistrates can hand out fines of up to £5,000 and in severe situations, the Council has the power to seize equipment used to make the noise.

Environmental Protection Manager Kate Bishop said: ?We would urge people to consider the impact of their activities on their neighbours. As a general rule of thumb if you can hear the noise outside your property it is too loud and should be turned down.?

frogwatcher42 · 09/08/2013 11:46

I took it from the cotswold website as assumed that would cover a similar type of situation to ops village.

Arisbottle · 09/08/2013 12:10

The absolute fear on here of a "working class" person is priceless.

Have I missed something but we seem to have gone from sitting on a wall drinking a pint and pottering about in the garage while listening to music to music blaring while he gets pissed in a sting vest and acting like a selfish, worthless and entitled twat?

I would love to offer an exchange scheme whereby MNers can live next door to me for a week, to experience life outside of their MC bubble.

Ilovemyself · 09/08/2013 12:19

Oh FFS. Just communicate with your neighbours. Is it ok or is it bothering them. If people just communicated there would be far less trouble.

And for those saying he is a selfish prick, you have only heard how the OP perceives it. He may well be but then again the neighbours may be fine with the levels he has the music at.

Original poster
Doubtfuldaphne · 09/08/2013 12:21

It does seem to have escalated a little! He is a very middle class man very smartly dressed and just very clueless.
No string vests, no acting drunk, just unpacking the garage with the door open 'to get some air in' and playing music louder than I think is appropriate. While not booming down the street It can be heard from outside he property which I think is the main problem.

OP posts:
Ilovemyself · 09/08/2013 12:23

And the op is already wound up by his actions so may perceive the issue to be worse than it is.

Arisbottle · 09/08/2013 12:23

He could be a very working class man and still not be a prick.

Ilovemyself · 09/08/2013 12:24

But have you communicated with the neighbours. Is this a problem to them or just to you?

Arisbottle · 09/08/2013 12:26

As someone who lives in a village, people are viewed with suspicion if they move in and don't mix, chat, invite people over so we can check you out. Your housewarming is a good idea.

TSSDNCOP · 09/08/2013 12:31

If they're older they're probably a bit deaf too.

There's a finite amount of time you can tidy a garage, so presumably he'll run out of jobs soon and the weather will turn so he can't sit out and sip his pint.

Problem solved!

allmycats · 09/08/2013 12:47

Music, or any kind of noise that can be heard outside of your premises is just plain bad manners, wherever you are and wherever you live.

Beastofburden · 09/08/2013 12:58

Tssdncop, oi. I am older (50 something) and I am a semi-pro (means i dont get paid when i perform nearly often enough) classical musician with an ear like a razor blade. What's with the casual ageism???

LouiseAderyn · 09/08/2013 13:07

I think it's a problem that your dh knows this worries you and is not prepared to do a little thing (turn the music down or close the door), in order to make you feel happier.

My dd goes to bed at 7.30 and if I could regularly hear the neighbours music inside my house and it kept her awake, I would be less than thrilled. I feel this way about other people's yapppy dogs too. People have a right to go about their lives and not be inconvenienced by others.

Beastofburden · 09/08/2013 13:15

Ps rofl at pearl clutcher, don't think we have those here....

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