Aibu to ask my dh to stop making us look like we're trashy

[Doubtfuldaphne]

Just moved to a very quiet village in a street with rows of cottages. All you can hear is sheep in the distance, maybe the odd church bell.
I'm quite a quiet person anyway and although my two young children can be noisy, they're in bed by 8.
My dh on the other hand, likes to play his music in the garage while he's
'Sorting it out' with main garage door open in to the street. It's not really really loud but its louder than I feel comfortable with! I've told him before about this and its caused stupid arguments. He can't see what my problem is. I don't like the way as soon as we move in, I feel everyone else's peace and quiet is possibly being ruined by this. I just don't get why the garage door has to be open, making it easier for everyone to hear
The music and see what he's up to in there and people can see all our stuff! (Just moved so a lot of our belongings are in there)
He's also taken to sitting on the wall outside our house with a pint. This embarrasses me. Why?

Op, don't live for your neighbors, playing music in the day time isn't breaking a law, if they are snobby you don't need their approval. As for your oh, my xoh used to play the radio loudly in the morning, it was radio 4 but I was still embarrassed, it turned out my issues were with my oh and not his more insignificant life style choices.

the music, well, turn it down, but not sure what's wrong with having a drink in your front garden.

What kind of music does he play?

I'd be embarrassed too.

Hmmm, sounds a smidge trashy to me too OP. Sorry.

I'm a bit noise phobic so that may colour my opinion. My husband only has his (very loud) music on when I'm out of the house. I know, I know, I'm terrible to live with. However it is always with windows and doors closed and no immediate neighbours.

Get him a garden bench for goodness sake. He can enjoy his pint in peace and won't lower the tone.

It's not our front garden though its right on the street in front.

At the moment it's pink ffloyd and earlier it was Tom waits.

On the street!!!!!

Why????

Is this performance drinking?

Sounds cool, just go out, enjoy the tunes and crack open a beer.

Ah well if its pink Floyd that's ok.

Nah really I hate grown adults imposing their music on the neighborhood. What part of we don't all want to listen to wish you were here doesn't he understand?

It was the track with all the alarm clocks that really had my gritting my teeth earlier! To be fair he did turn it down slightly when that started.
It's the constant slamming doors and talking on the phone out the front and stuff though, I think it's just pure inconsideration.

If your neighbours have kids then its really inconsiderate for him to be playing loud music at 9 o'clock at night, even if some guidelines say he doesn't have to turn it off before 11. He's being a bit of a knob.

If you moved in next to me I would be praying that you would move out again soon - he sounds like an arse

Is he one of those people that needs an audience?

I have a sort of friend who can be like that. Speaks really loudly when out in public and looks around to make sure that everyone is listening. Very annoying because she pays more attention to random strangers than the person sitting opposite her.

Sorry, bit of a rant there and I'm sure your dh is nothing like that. I hope.

The noise might be annoying depending on how loud but he sounds lovely, sitting on the wall with his pint, being sociable etc!

I live in a small close, and there are at least 3 families that will fill the air with their music. they drive in with music blaring or play it out of the upstairs window. it makes me so angry! they are scary people so I don't feel able to ask them to turn it down, and its always rnb music, not anything I like. someone drove in earlier playing an Elbow track for a few seconds and I sighed in relief, but then they picked someone up and it changed to a rap track. ugh. I was trying to enjoy a bath at the time. I wouldn't mind if it was not so loud, but Pink Floyd would be welcome around here!

What is he doing in the garage. He sounds like an ignorant arse.

Is he really so self-centred that he thinks that everyone wants to listen to the same thing as him or is he just so inconsiderate that he doesn't care whether they want to listen to it or not?

Either way your neighbours are not going to like you very much. Playing music loud enough to be heard next door during the day is irritating but doing it at 9.30pm is way out of line and bound to cause problems.

Sitting on the wall with a pint is OK. People have a choice whether to ignore him in a way they can't with music.

he is being childish of course he should be more considerate why would you want to sit on your front wall drinking a pint do you not have a back garden or a pub

Maybe he is rebelling in this nice little village is it all a little to quaint for him

Totally get where you're coming from OP.
I cringe every time my DCs are loud and obnoxious in the garden in the evening.
Your neighbours may not mind/care, but it obviously bothers you, so I would ask DH to tone it down a bit.

Paying loud music outside is rude.
Nothing to do with neighbours being snobby. is it snobby to want to have some peace and quiet?

i wish he lived round here, it's like death came early to the residents here yet most of them are in their 40s

please don't cringe at your children being loud. it's what they do and i know some people like the sound of life even if others prefer to hide away in silence.

I find it really uncomfortable to walk past someone sitting outside (on their doorstep in our neighbour's case, no front garden) necking pints.

Something about drinking alcohol in public unless it's a pub garden/table is really off to me. I don't know why. Maybe I'm a snob..!

The music thing is universally frowned upon, however. Yanbu.

I'm with you on this and would be annoyed at my dh (although it wouldn't worry me about people seeing my mess).

The 11pm rule is a myth. Look on your council website and find the guidance. In a quiet rural area where you can only hear the sheep it won't be long before he pisses off the locals. They probably wouldn't think twice about him enjoying a pint on the wall but once they get fed up with him for the music, everything else will grate and not be tolerated.

He doesn't sound very considerate to you to simply ignore your concerns.

I will have to speak to him next time it happens. It makes me so anxious. Last time he accused me of not letting him do anything.
He's quite quiet as a person really but always has to have music on. I'm always turning it down aswell and he will turn it back up. I don't think he even thinks about everyone else it must be a purely selfish thing. I remember one Xmas he took over his parents house with ac/cd Christmas morning.
The music stopped at 9.45 luckily. All the neigh ours are age 50+ so we must be quite a shock to them all :(

Maybe you could get him an old tatty settee to sit on to drink his pint? Dead classy that! <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=king+of+the+hill+couch&biw=1280&bih=685&tbm=isch&tbnid=aLrXcjFRpvIpaM:&imgrefurl=www.tumblr.com/tagged/boomhauer%3Flanguage%3Dja_JP&docid=nsj3N4FCYfuIRM&imgurl=25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m32wk4B6ua1qg3d1lo1_500.gif&w=500&h=327&ei=FQ0EUtCjIIa-0QWUw4HAAg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=king+of+the+hill+couch&biw=1280&bih=685&tbm=isch&tbnid=aLrXcjFRpvIpaM:&imgrefurl=www.tumblr.com/tagged/boomhauer%3Flanguage%3Dja_JP&docid=nsj3N4FCYfuIRM&imgurl=25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m32wk4B6ua1qg3d1lo1_500.gif&w=500&h=327&ei=FQ0EUtCjIIa-0QWUw4HAAg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:1,s:0,i:83&iact=rc&page=1&tbnh=181&tbnw=276&start=0&ndsp=16&tx=105&ty=87