Aibu to ask my dh to stop making us look like we're trashy

[Doubtfuldaphne]

Just moved to a very quiet village in a street with rows of cottages. All you can hear is sheep in the distance, maybe the odd church bell.
I'm quite a quiet person anyway and although my two young children can be noisy, they're in bed by 8.
My dh on the other hand, likes to play his music in the garage while he's
'Sorting it out' with main garage door open in to the street. It's not really really loud but its louder than I feel comfortable with! I've told him before about this and its caused stupid arguments. He can't see what my problem is. I don't like the way as soon as we move in, I feel everyone else's peace and quiet is possibly being ruined by this. I just don't get why the garage door has to be open, making it easier for everyone to hear
The music and see what he's up to in there and people can see all our stuff! (Just moved so a lot of our belongings are in there)
He's also taken to sitting on the wall outside our house with a pint. This embarrasses me. Why?

Wall drinking fine, if he's being friendly, not drunk. Not trashy IMO, I live in a similar village and it's nice when neighbours are out and about and there to chat with.

Playing music loud enough for others to hear, especially in the evening, is just bloody rude.

Would you be ok with him listening to Bach and sipping a single malt.

The music thing is unbearably rude. You simply have to tell him.

He's ruining the summer for people. They won't want to shut their windows because of the heat, but when they open them, it will let his noise into their house.

He's being very selfish.

I don't think one person's choice of any type of music should be imposed on others in a quiet village street, Bach or Tom Waits

Beer drinking on the wall would be fine for me.

Playing music outdoors so that the neighbours can hear it is inconsiderate, whatever the genre or quality of the music, and whatever the time of day (barring some special occasion like a party). I have a neighbour who plays the violin (well) with the window open. It drives me demented. I can't sit out in my garden and read as it's too distracting. It goes on for hours.

Don't mix the two issues. 'looking' trashy with his pint and the garage door open might offend some but they don't have to look. But he is imposing the music.

Noisy and consistently noisy neighbours are the absolute Pitts

We have new ones out the side/back and they are oblivious to anyone. Makes me feel all stabby

You are not being unreasonable at all ! You just want to be welcomed by the local community - and your dh seems more determined to not fit in. I get why you want to feel accepted if you have already had several moves. I think that he is being unreasonable !

It's easy to tell, really. D other people p,ay music loudly in the street where you live? No? They don't like it, then.

Why can't he close the garage door? Also, what is he doing in there?

The drinking would intimidate me. Idk if it's 'trashy,' but a man drinking in the street would frighten me. I have no way of knowing if I ca just walk past unbothered or not.

Nothing to do with being trashy. Your H is being a selfish, inconsiderate prick - blaring music out.

He's behaving as if he's 15 years old. I bet most of the neighbours wish you'd never moved in.

I agree LemonPeculiarJones. If this was my neighbour I'd be miserable.

Loud music. Drinking outside the front of the house.

Does he honestly think because it's not 11pm it's okay to share his music with the neighbourhood? Many many people go to bed before then. Many people enjoy sitting quietly in their gardens in an evening this time of year, and probably don't appreciate his music accompanying that.

I would of already rang your landlord to complain.

I my self have just had new people move in next door after getting the last lot evicted and so far the 3 days they have lived here have been brain thumping music from 9am-8pm..

They however was playing "the thong song".

3 houses near by are now getting ready to start sending in complaints about the new tenants after only being here 3days.

We like our street quite unless we as a street plan a street party so to speak, we don't want yobs drinking out the front, music blasting, or motorbikes sat revving for the fun of it.

Tom Waits!!!!!! Poor you and poor your neighbours! I think we married the same man !!!

Yes, I hope your neighbours are getting together to complain to your letting agents as soon as possible. You deserve to be kicked out.

Think of it this way: many people living peaceful, considerate lives. All suddenly having their peace ruined by one selfish, worthless, entitled twat.

It's good you realise how shit he's being.

OP, I think you said that all the neighbours are snobs. How can you tell? Is it clear that they all think they're better than you? If not, they're probably not all snobs, although some of them may well be.
Re your DH's behaviour, considered as whole (loud music, especially currently slightly obscure back-catalogue; public garage reorganising; performance drinking) sounds like a form of attention-seeking; he's performing "being laid-back musician, not like all you dreary straights". I can pretty much 100% guarantee you that at least some if not most of your new neighbours will be really hating the noise and ardently wishing you and your family hadn't moved in. Your tenancy agreement will almost certainly include a clause about not bothering neighbours with noise and your letting agent would have every right to invoke this.
My best friend's (now ex) DH used to "perform" like this and is now known in a thirty mile radius of their small town as "that twat from (insert name of town)". Notoriety of a kind but not necessarily what your DH wants.

Ha, exactly bluestocking - he's desperately trying to communicate how much of an 'unconventional muso maverick' he is, unlike all the 'squares' he's surrounded by.

Pathetic. If he needs those means to 'express' himself then he's obviously a completely deluded fraud, anyway.

Ok, so you have a housewarming coming up. I would quietly talk to a few neighbours, under the excuse of inviting them. Sayyou are a bit worried by the music, ask them to say honestly how they feel. If they do say there is an issue, then you have two options.

YOu can tell DH that people have said this.

Or, if you have no credibility with him, ask the neighbours to mention it at the housewarming, to him direct. Explain that he thinks you are exaggerating and it would have more credibility coming from the neighbours. Stress how much he wants to be welcoming and friendly but you think he has got the wrong idea of how to go about it.

Villages are not necessarily quiet all the time, especially if farming goes on. There may well be live music nights in the pub or a gang of locals who meet up to play, which would suit your DH as he is a musician, u say. So hopefully the locals will seize the chance to divert him onto site hitting more constructive.

It won't happen spontaneously, though, you need to make people feel that they can say something.

FFs do not go with the anonymous note idea, I hope that was just a joke. He will tank his neighbours are cowardly, underhand and snobbish and he will not give a monkeys what they think from then on.

Would say btw that I entirely agree with the other posters who think your DH is a neighbour from hell at the moment. He needs to see himself as others really see him.

If you are having a housewarming you could let you nieghbours know that you won't have the music too loud and that you WILL turn all the music off at 11 or whenever you see fit.
If people know when the music is ending it makes it much much less irritating.

Obviously then you have too make sure to turn it off at the promised time.

I think 11 is about the right time. It could still be irritating if you have kids but its not too late either.

The music would be an issue for me. I'm not sure I understand why he is sitting on the wall to have a pint - are there no back gardens? - but if my neighbour did that (actually, they do) I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

My neighbour has a taste for 1970's music. Very loud. She only plays it whilst doing housework in the daytime though so we cope .

He's working class and you're not. Nobody is right or wrong here. I'd agree with you on the beer but not the music. Drink beer in your own garden. He's not got his top off too when he's on the wall drinking beer has he?

btw I think most of the responses here are from pearl clutchers and I think it's rude to call someone you have never met a twat.

Can you get cordless headphones? Playing music the odd time is not too bad but every night would get a bit much and people might be getting their kids to sleep. if it a quiet village the noise will echo round. As for the drinking if it's just one or two I don't see the big deal but if he rolling drunk then that would be a bit different.

oh god you have moved to what you think is a nice village where everybody is nice havn't you did he play music and drink beer at your last house , I think you just dont want to be a bother to people and you see it as he is being a bother , not sure what is trashy about him being in his garage and drinking beer though but if he is making a point by playing his music till 11 that is being arsey id hate to hear anybodies loud music at 11 pm ask him to turn it down and if he gets cross tell him to stop being a teenager

I'd be seriously fucked off is someone was playing loud music at 9.45 at night. In fact I'd be over telling them to turn it down, nicely at first, then a bit more aggressively, then if no-one listened yes I'd complain to their letting agent.