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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask my dh to stop making us look like we're trashy

251 replies

Doubtfuldaphne · 08/08/2013 21:04

Just moved to a very quiet village in a street with rows of cottages. All you can hear is sheep in the distance, maybe the odd church bell.
I'm quite a quiet person anyway and although my two young children can be noisy, they're in bed by 8.
My dh on the other hand, likes to play his music in the garage while he's
'Sorting it out' with main garage door open in to the street. It's not really really loud but its louder than I feel comfortable with! I've told him before about this and its caused stupid arguments. He can't see what my problem is. I don't like the way as soon as we move in, I feel everyone else's peace and quiet is possibly being ruined by this. I just don't get why the garage door has to be open, making it easier for everyone to hear
The music and see what he's up to in there and people can see all our stuff! (Just moved so a lot of our belongings are in there)
He's also taken to sitting on the wall outside our house with a pint. This embarrasses me. Why?

OP posts:
KirstyJC · 08/08/2013 22:28

Oops not sure what happened there! Think link works though...

Crumbledwalnuts · 08/08/2013 22:28

I would fear complaints and being turfed out. If you staying there depends on you getting no complaints then he is not going the right way about it.

Why don't you apologise to the neighbours. See what they say.

HoikyPoiky · 08/08/2013 22:28

He sounds a bit inconsiderate.

Original poster
Doubtfuldaphne · 08/08/2013 22:28

I mean the music stopped at 9.45 ish tonight - I guess not too late but for a place like this it probably is

OP posts:
mystaplerisevil · 08/08/2013 22:30

oh yes because over 50s haven't heard of AC/DC Grin must have shocked them to the core Grin

seriously

it's just music, let him enjoy himself until the neighbours complain, then get him to turn it up Wink

racmun · 08/08/2013 22:31

I'd be mortified. The Pint is the worse thing, is he drinking out of a glass or the can?

Tbh if one of my neighbours did this I would think they are Chavvy and I wouldn't like it and I wouldn't want dh to behave that way either. So YANBU

SupermansBigRedPants · 08/08/2013 22:32

Sounds a bit trashy to me sorry! Drinking halfway down the street and blasting music is really uncalled for. as for twatting off about 11pm I've had to move twice in the past due to ignorant sods coming away with this crap and the anti social behaviour team being unable to do anything. Dd had sleep issues until she was 5 because of the '11pm rule' Angry

The garage door being open and your dc being loud is perfectly normal to me though, if dc are quiet it's something to look into!

Original poster
Doubtfuldaphne · 08/08/2013 22:32

It was funny watching MIL humming happily to highway to hell while peeling the potatoes.

I might ask them when I see them if the noise levels are ok as I'm concerned my dh is being a bit loud .. Or would that just invite more problems?

OP posts:
frogwatcher42 · 08/08/2013 22:33

Whether 9.45pm is too late to have music on outside is dependent on how loud it was. If it was outside and you could hear it inside then the likelihood is that your neighbours could too. Surely then it is too late - why should they have to listen to his music in their homes? As a one off it would be ok - but if he does it a lot then I think you ought to expect the complaints to your landlord or to the council even if it is early evening!!.

mystaplerisevil · 08/08/2013 22:34

trashy/chavvy?? lol love mn so full of judgemental weirdos atm

just let him enjoy himself really it's not that bad. my dp would go and talk to him if he heard him playing ac/dc. life is for living and its summer fgs!

coffeeinbed · 08/08/2013 22:37

That's the point though.
Some people quite like living their live in the absence of ac/dc and other loud music blasting in the evenings.
Their life is for living too.

coffeeinbed · 08/08/2013 22:38

living their life

Crumbledwalnuts · 08/08/2013 22:41

"lol love mn so full of judgemental weirdos atm"

I can't believe there is one person in the world, never mind on mumsnet, who thinks it's acceptable to play loud music from a garage onto a quiet rural village street until 11pm and to complain that his wife never lets him do anything when she remonstrates.

It's a grim way to behave. It's inconsiderate and disrespectful, and that's trashy.

mystaplerisevil · 08/08/2013 22:41

so they complain if it bothers them surely? it's only ac/dc not death metal

Notcontent · 08/08/2013 22:42

Agree with others that it's about being considerate of your neighbours.

I live in a very mixed, typical London street and have some neighbours a few doors up from me who don't seem to realise that congregating with their friends in the middle of the street and talking in really loud voices late at night is a bit inconsiderate of people who may be trying to sleep! Angry

Sparklysilversequins · 08/08/2013 22:43

"The OP seems more concerned about appearing trashy, than concerned for the neighbours"

No she doesn't that's just the title of the thread. She's quite clear in the OP that she worries how it will affect the neighbours.

I think he sounds selfish and look at me! and quite rough too that's what I would be thinking about him and wishing that you had never moved in.

maddening · 08/08/2013 22:44

I'm afraid that you can't just make any noise until 11pm - if it is unreasonable and is disturbing neighbours then it is too loud - the fact that it is such a quiet area - less background noise that drowns out slightly will mean he either needs to turn it down or move his music indoors.

Wouldn't hurt to check with the neighbours rather than let tensions rise to the point they have to say something - if indeed it is disturbing them - at least they won't have months and months of built up anger.

mystaplerisevil · 08/08/2013 22:44

lol until 11pm ooh

blimey where do you lot live, sounds like terry wogan land

though i think terry would probably prefer a little life in his village

Crumbledwalnuts · 08/08/2013 22:46

"so they complain if it bothers them surely"

classic selfish attitude

the idea of consideration is to anticipate whether something you're doing is generally unfair, anti-social or upsetting, and then not do it if so

what if the neighbours are old? nervous? shy? housebound? afraid of someone who sits drinking beer on the street and playing loud music until nearly midnight? why should they made to fret and be anxious about complaining, and worry about repercussions or revenge?

PeriodMath · 08/08/2013 22:48

I wish more people showed so much concern for their neighbours OP.

My DH wouldn't dream of doing either of the things you mention in your OP and neither would I. I hate hearing other people's music, it's just anti-social. Go inside if you really need to listen to a song!

EmmaBemma · 08/08/2013 22:48

I think outdoor music of that kind is really intrusive and selfish - I hate it, and I'm a music lover generally. Nothing to do with trashiness, just basic courtesy and manners - I would be pissed off too.

Sparklysilversequins · 08/08/2013 22:49

mystaplerisevil you sound selfish and inconsiderate too. I cannot stand entitled arseholes who make loads of noise at night then call anyone who complains boring etc. Why do you think others should have to live with YOUR choices?

mystaplerisevil · 08/08/2013 22:50

maybe the neighbours would like the sound of life

you lot sound very uptight

SupermansBigRedPants · 08/08/2013 22:50

I was afraid of my noisy neighbours thr first time around - drug dealer with a lot of 'friends' in all the time, I was a young single mum. Like hell was I going to his door Hmm not everyone is bolshy and able to for whatever reason go knocking on their anti social neighbours.

Crumbledwalnuts · 08/08/2013 22:51

Yes OP - agree with PM - YOU are not doing anything wrong.