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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to think this child is too old to be exposing himself?

999 replies

JenniBoo · 05/08/2013 15:08

Bit of a back story... was delighted when a young family bought the house next door. After the previous elderly couple (who would complain about noise and balls going over the wall etc.,) I thought another young family would be a breath of fresh air and that their boys (8, 5 and 3) would play with my daughters (3yrs and 3 mths).

The first hint that they were not our sort of people became apparent almost immediately. They are both heavy smokers - they must smoke at least a pack a day - but instead of doing it in their house, they (and their friends) congregate on the porch- the smell wafts across into our garden and through the kitchen window. One day it was so bad, you could smell it in my baby's bedroom on the floor above! I asked them politely if they would mind smoking indoors or at the end of their garden - but they were completely unapologetic and said they couldn't do that because in the house if might affect THEIR children - and that at the end of the garden, they would get wet!

She seems to let her kids run wild - she is never in the garden with them, and the noise is something else. The other day I had to complain because they were throwing stones at each other - one flew across into our garden narrowly missing my baby, who was sleeping in the pram. I went across to complain but the mother couldn't have cared less. She lined them up and made them apologize, but she was all "boys will be boys" and you could tell she wasn't really sorry.

Today has been the final straw though. I came out to find both the younger boys exposing themselves to my older daughter. They had climbed onto their trampoline and were waving them at her. The older boy was there too, but was just laughing. I went round to the mother and told her. . The other mother told me I was "being stupid" and that "they are just little boys" and that I should "get over myself".

I don't think a 5 year old should be getting his willy out in public. Surely if he did that in the class at school he would be in huge trouble? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Fakebook · 07/08/2013 10:37

Hahahahaha.....wtf? I'm actually laughing out loud to how this thread has turned out. In a space of 2 days you've decided to move to a quieter neighbourhood to get away from willy waving little boys?! 😂😂😂😂😂. Brilliant.

insanityscratching · 07/08/2013 10:43

Frusso the day the psychologist came to see ds who has autism she went next door because of the little boy stood naked in the front window (he is NT). Neighbour sent her to us to be greeted by ds wearing a solitary sock (having stripped everything off half a dozen times already that day) Neighbour and I just used to laugh and rave about the lack of laundry our two made.
I caught my eldest ds's having a peeing competition at the side of the shed once I was secretly impressed that they could pee to a height of 6 plus feet tbh. They have all grown up to be thoroughly decent young men BTW in spite of some of their less savoury habits Wink

FrussoHathor · 07/08/2013 10:47

insanity that just proves you never can tell. Even if you're a psychologist.

LaRegina · 07/08/2013 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NamelessMcNally · 07/08/2013 12:50

Wow. This thread. Just wow.

OP - this will not change anything. It will give you something to focus on which you can believe will solve all your problems but it won't. You'll move somewhere else and escape willy waggling and end up with no suitable playmates for little India or your cleaner will smell stale or something else. You need to work on your reactions to situations you find challenging as they will exist wherever you go.

ZutAlorsDidier · 07/08/2013 12:58

Is everyone being mean because they think OP is a troll, or are they just being mean because they think someone's misery is hilarious? [hard of understanding]

However, for the equally hard of understanding in other respects, two points:

  • being naked is not the same as waving your willy at someone

  • the OP is perfectly likely to be happy in a different environment. All this knowing tutting and teeth sucking about how a move won't solve anything is nasty and patronising and quite mean, because it is as if you want her to be miserable. Like all people with anxiety (or all people, full stop) she will thrive in some environments and others will be very stressful. To all the people saying "stone throwing, ambient smoke and willy waving are fine in my house, so there is something wrong with the OP" - why aren't you happy then that she is acknowledging this and removing herself from a difficult situation?

I think this thread is one of the nastiest I have seen on MN. Unless you are all being like this because you are utterly convinced the OP isn't real. And I am very easily taken in. [maybe]

JustBecauseICan · 07/08/2013 13:27

You and me both Zut.

WestieMamma · 07/08/2013 13:27

Zut it probably because people remember previous threads which follow exactly the same pattern: righteous indignation at some perceived trivial slight, drip feeding and changing details to enhance the crime when the response is YABU, telling DH how upsetting it's all been, DH riding in on his white charger because he understands how she isn't being unreasonable and sorting everything out for her, everything now being happy and perfect in LaLa-Land.

lachrymavitis · 07/08/2013 13:36

OP - have you checked Royston Vasey for any suitable properties?

LaRegina · 07/08/2013 13:39

Ooh my first ever deletion! And I've said so much worse before Confused

BuntCadger · 07/08/2013 13:42

Oh my goodness. Seriously LOL at this thread.

KateSMumsnet · 07/08/2013 13:57

OI - remember our rules about troll hunting?

FrussoHathor · 07/08/2013 14:19

zut I agree with westie
For me I lost the reality around the scones and homemade jam, and I think but can't be sure that the OP tried to lighten up the thread with a bit of property porn, because we all love a bit of property porn by which point I doubt even the OP was taking it seriously, possibly thinking the thread had got completely out of hand, and trying to lighten the mood of the thread.
But this is just my analysis of the thread. I may have it completely wrong.

KellyElly · 07/08/2013 14:22

I have been deleted and I didn't even swear at the OP. KateSMumsnet is the OP being deleted for insinuating I am a yob upthread?????? Personal attack and all that!

BuntCadger · 07/08/2013 14:25

Not troll hunting here at all but just wondering if OP looking for greener pastures.. Perhaps with a small herd of goats? 3 is a nice number Wink

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 14:39

I have lost the page where the scone story started, can someone please help me? (slow day)

ilovesooty · 07/08/2013 15:14

I'd be interested in how on earth the OP coped with the world of multi million pound budgets given her lack of people skills and inability to see things in perspective. Not to mention solving problems by running away from them rather than working through them.

KateSMumsnet · 07/08/2013 15:15

@BuntCadger

Not troll hunting here at all but just wondering if OP looking for greener pastures.. Perhaps with a small herd of goats? 3 is a nice number Wink

Actually, that is troll hunting we're afraid. You don't have to explicitly say "OP you are a troll" - it can be any post that implies that you think the OP is making stuff up or is being disingenuous. And references to troll paraphernalia (goats, hooves, hairy hands, bridges) also count.

KellyElly - we delete your post saying "You really had me there OP!" for this reason - as it read to us like you were insinuating that the OP was lying.

Incidentally, we posted yesterday about why we have rules about troll hunting here

Fakebook · 07/08/2013 15:28

I think everyone is just jealous OP will be moving from a semi detached city slum house to a picturesque mansion in the highlands with no neighbours.

I'm sure you can scrape together 25k for the first house OP. Just cut back on the jam and chocolate cakes.

FrussoHathor · 07/08/2013 15:39

fakebook it work out much cheaper to make your own jams and cakes if you have a good stock cupboard.

My quibble was with giving them away along with half a chocolate cake. I'd have eaten the whole chocolate cake, but then I am a pig

Sleepyhoglet · 07/08/2013 15:45

OP. I don't understand. I assumed that you live in a terrace house with a small garden for your children and the neighbour's children to be playing within such close proximity. Now you are saying your house budget is 500k + So, are you really living in house with such a tiny garden? Or have you suddenly upped the budget?

BuntCadger · 07/08/2013 16:28

Ok katemumsnet Smile thanks for clarification. Did giggle at "troll paraphernalia" bit tho x

twilight3 · 07/08/2013 17:06

come on you lot, pwwweeeease, where's the scones and jam post, I'm ignoring my children all afternoon in order to find it (I'm hoping they're not flashing the neighbours atm)

FrussoHathor · 07/08/2013 22:14

Pretty much in the middle before the chocolate cake and the property porn but after the "little shits" and pissing off the window ledge.

insanityscratching · 07/08/2013 22:25

Here you are Twilight
JenniBoo Tue 06-Aug-13 09:34:41
I find it a bit upsetting too Zut

I find all the accusations about how awful I am rather disconcerting. There are 21 houses in our close and I have always got on well with ALL the other neighbors. I was looking forward to having a young family next door - and was as welcoming as I could be when this family arrived. Went round with freshly baked scones and a jar of homemade jam the day they arrived - and loaned them a kettle because there's was missing. Invited the whole family for a BBQ... offered to take the other mum to the local tots group with us when the others go back to school and so on... I thought I was being as welcoming as I could be!

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