to think this child is too old to be exposing himself?

[JenniBoo]

Bit of a back story... was delighted when a young family bought the house next door. After the previous elderly couple (who would complain about noise and balls going over the wall etc.,) I thought another young family would be a breath of fresh air and that their boys (8, 5 and 3) would play with my daughters (3yrs and 3 mths).

The first hint that they were not our sort of people became apparent almost immediately. They are both heavy smokers - they must smoke at least a pack a day - but instead of doing it in their house, they (and their friends) congregate on the porch- the smell wafts across into our garden and through the kitchen window. One day it was so bad, you could smell it in my baby's bedroom on the floor above! I asked them politely if they would mind smoking indoors or at the end of their garden - but they were completely unapologetic and said they couldn't do that because in the house if might affect THEIR children - and that at the end of the garden, they would get wet!

She seems to let her kids run wild - she is never in the garden with them, and the noise is something else. The other day I had to complain because they were throwing stones at each other - one flew across into our garden narrowly missing my baby, who was sleeping in the pram. I went across to complain but the mother couldn't have cared less. She lined them up and made them apologize, but she was all "boys will be boys" and you could tell she wasn't really sorry.

Today has been the final straw though. I came out to find both the younger boys exposing themselves to my older daughter. They had climbed onto their trampoline and were waving them at her. The older boy was there too, but was just laughing. I went round to the mother and told her. . The other mother told me I was "being stupid" and that "they are just little boys" and that I should "get over myself".

I don't think a 5 year old should be getting his willy out in public. Surely if he did that in the class at school he would be in huge trouble? Am I being unreasonable?

I think you are over reacting on every count, and in fact, are sounding a bit ridiculous.

They are young children, they are in their own garden. I'm not surprised the other mother behaved as she did towards you. Why on earth should she punish her children for being naked in their own garden. Small boys think their willies are fabulous. It's absolutely normal.

The thing is op, you went round her house specifically to tell her off about her parenting. What reaction did you expect?

I must admit I too want to phone 101 and report a 5 year old waggling his willy on a trampoline.

Call the police on a 5 year old boy?

Op yabcompletelyu and ridiculous.

You can kind of tell from the responses on this thread who has (or has experience of) little boys

LOL at calling police about 3yr old and 5yr old waving willies in their back garden.

OP, you are so uptight and judgey, it's unreal

I think you need to get a hobby OP

And not one that involves obsessing about your next door neighbours.

They are going to drive you nuts OP because ou are now going to be hyper sensitive to every thing they do.
You are feeling got at. It won't help that others feel you are over reacting.

So - big fence, trellis, shrubs etc.
Screen them out.

Silence them with your enormous bush.

I had to check to be sure someone really had suggested the police over this, I thought you were all taking the piss

I would say "being stupid" and that "they are just little boys" and that I should "get over myself" but I can't even be bothered to do that.

You lost me at The first hint that they were not our sort of people became apparent almost immediately.

HTH!

I don't think anything you have said makes them sound that bad tbh. They're not having wild parties keeping you awake all night, their kids are playing in the garden and shock horror making a bit of noise, they smoke in THEIR garden (but you would rather they smoked in the house when they have children ) and the boys were made to apologise after the stone incident. The willy thing is also normal - at primary school the boys were forever flashing. You sound like a moany uptight neighbour to be honest.

"The thing is op, you went round her house specifically to tell her off about her parenting. What reaction did you expect?"

Absolutely the best way to guarantee getting your neighbours back up! That and what another posted said about her being sick of your whinging. (Though I would have had a friendly word about the stone throwing maybe)

snort at 'Silence them with your enormous bush'

"Silence them with your enormous bush."

Now THAT would be something to call the police about!

Flashing their willies it is what most little boy's do they go through this stage. You ignore and do not make a thing about it they will soon stop. As for those who say to call 101,get real. Think your neighbour's may be thinking you are a problem family.

Phone 101. That level of idiocy will keep the call centre entertained for months.

Also take the broom handle out of your arse.

Why didn't you just tell your daughter to ignore and not look? I agree it's a silly thing for them to do, but you have the option to not look.

The smoking thing is a bit silly too. I have neighbours who smoke and sometimes if the wind is blowing my way the smell comes into my and dd's bedroom. You can't stop people from smoking in their garden unfortunately and I absolutely hate smoke smells and public smoking.

I'm suprised that people think that is ok tbh. Unless you all have very badly small boys that you can't control?

My view is that they are not that young - the older one is school aged - and has already done a year of school. If he is capable of understanding it isn't appropriate at school, or in church or whatever, surely he should be able to behave himself in the garden.

My view is that the mother hasn't really been stern enough about behaving respectfully to us as neighbours, and maybe even said she were silly etc in front of them... so they are being purposefully naughty over this - knowing that she won't reprimand them.

Or am I over-thinking this?

I have no problem with kids playing naked, but exposing your genitals to another child over a garden fence is weird. I take it your daughter was upset OP? If the parents are so blasé about it all I'd be buying a wicker trellis, some climbing plants and ignoring the little shits as best I could.

I also love that you suggested they smoke inside their house and are outraged that they won't because it might affect their children

I have to admit, you do sound like really hard work OP.

I agree as well that you're probably feeling 'got at' so you are going to be hypersensitive to anything they do.

But there's nothing really there in what you've said that says they're doing wrong really. They aren't neighbours from hell.. they're just a family that parents differently to you.

Why don't you try and clear the slate.. be nice, smiley and cheery and welcome them to the street. Battling with the neighbours is exhausting because you can't get away from it. Pick your battles.

Gosh you cant tell if you are overthinking it from this thread?

have you read the responses?

OP, would you be okay with someone calling your parenting into question all the time? Because that is what you are doing every time you go round with a spurious complaint.

You are turning into your old neighbours.