To want our baby to have my surname?

[ellie19812]

Our baby is due in January, we are living together however the idea of marriage does not appeal to me (maybe this will change in the future, I don't know yet).

Anyway, I really want our baby to have my surname, however he and his family have assumed the baby will take on his surname.

AIBU?

Now that Curlew is a much less antagonistic way of putting it.

It is really easy to change the name you use
you just satart using the new one
end of
people are getting in such a pickle over something that is so fluid

FFS
I have bank accounts, passports and CRB checks in both my names - all utterly legal and above board

"Now that Curlew is a much less antagonistic way of putting it."

That what?

"(did not work for DH and I as the combination sounded silly so they have his name but I do not!)"

Why do they have his?

curlew
family politics : and he and I had been married for 10 years by the time they turned up
I now have a passport and bank account in his name as well as my original ones

That what?, what??

@ Kim147

Just combine your names. For instance I'd one is Dickinson, and another is smith, change it to Dickinsmith!

we considered that .... too many vowels

I think with names you do need to think about how they will sound together, some name combinations work and others really don't. For example dh and my surnames really sound a bit silly as a double barrel or as a combination because they are very similar (think Smythe-Smith although not so extreme).

We could have gone for my name but we went with dh's, mainly because his name is more unusual and interesting (mine is very common) but also because for me the change was very small, and I didn't really care as I use my surname very rarely (I've a very unusual first name so generally don't really bother with my surname much).

Also it was a long time ago and I didn't really think about feminist issues way back when (having my dd is really what has opened my mind to how much inequality there still is).

I only know one guy who changed his name to his wife's and it got a lot of comment.

You know, if you give your baby your surname, you can always change it at a later point. The dad's not going to mind!

If you give your baby his surname, he'll never agree to changing it to yours, or even double-barrelling it with yours. Men get offended about these things.

Just sayin...