TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

[TidyDancer]

Here you go!

Ah well then. No reply is needed now. You can be sure from the way GZ has treated you thus far,that not only would she not pay you for your efforts, she probably wouldn't front up the money or reimburse your costs. I think the sister agrees with you but doesn't want to seem disloyal to her sister. Well done for not caving in.

I agree with Knickernicker, i don't see anything in the reply from the sister which indicates she understands. For all we know she totally agrees with her sister and is just replying in the most vague way to get Tidy to agree. I think her language has been chosen very carefully to not give anything away. I don't think there is any reading between the lines at all.

I am in the 'no reply' camp but, if you had to, could I suggest a small adjustment to TheDoctrine's reply?

Dear Gluesister,

I'm glad you understand. Tell F I won't be reconsidering so and she should seek professional quotes or help from some of the guests.

Regards,

Tidy

The only course of action left is to block their email addresses and step away slowly from the whole thing.

Probably best to leave it be now.
Although, if you are tempted to reply, I'd do a mix of balloon's and koala's

Dear Sister-of-bride,

Can't believe your sister is more worried about a few decorations than about being seriously rude and upsetting an old friend. Astonishing.

I never offered nor agreed to decorate and won't be changing my mind.

Perhaps your sister needs to learn that it's not a good idea to show someone how little their friendship means immediately before asking for a massive favour.

A professional decorating service seems like your best bet at this late stage.

Good luck.

Tidy.

Tbh I think I'd have to reply but in an ambiguous way along the lines of:

Ok doke x

Just for kicks

I'd reply

"Dear GlueSister

I'm glad you understand but just to clear up the matter,I will not be decoating the venue and I will not be reconsidering this decision either. The answer was no when GZ asked the first time and has remained a "no" on subsequent requests for my help.

Bearing that in mind could you please enlighten me as to why GZ is "upset" and "stuck" and more to the point WHY she was "relying" on me to decorate in the first place when we had NEVER discussed this up until she emailed me to ask for help a couple of weeks ago and I had certainly never agreed to help her when she did ask.

I would now suggest that you strongly advise GZ (if you haven't already) to seek professional help or ask some of her wedding guests for assisstance with decorating before it gets any closer to her big day.

I wish GZ well on her wedding day and hope she can find the help she requires from another source.

Regards
Tidy"

FWIW I have really enjoyed reading these 3 threads,the nerve,cheek and pure brass neck of some people never fails to amaze me! Thanks Tidy! :)

Having said that, I think probably no reply is best now. I agree that there's nothing in sistet's reply to suggest that she really gets it, though I'd hope that she does.

This whole situaton is bonkers!

Is also just let it lie now. After all this time she is not going to admit her mistake and you could not have been clearer.

I'm baffled as to why there has been such long lags in their emails though if she is so in need of your help - I reckon the sister may have been trying to diffuse the situation before replying.

I reckon GZ and GS have been juggling similar e-mails from all twenty uninvited STDs - that's a lot of correspondence!!

You know that the best possible thing to do is nothing don't you? Look at the effect that has had on some complete strangers who kept rushing in looking for this thread checking for replies. Say nothing and let GZ and her sis stew.

Oh, and if you do reply, just don't mention the word "sorry" anywhere and definitely don't say "I'm sorry but". Or I will be quite miffed.

Mrs Koala's reply is good, but there's also something to be said for disengaging.
You are obviously unlikely to continue to be friends with this amazingly self centred woman. I can't believe she is stuck, what about all the other people she is much closer to and who she values more highly that got invites? Surely they can help and should be the people she is turning to first for help ?
The sister doesn't sound much better than gluezilla.

Agree with tuppence, and if you say 'not able' rather than 'not willing' i will find out where you live and sign you up to all the wedding related advertising guff i can find...i'm sure confetti has a directory of madness. I bet they have ice sculptures and balloon arches and engraved favours and all types of shizzle. You have been warned.

Dear Bridezilla's dsis

Tough shit, as I said before I'm seeing a friend that day

No 2rebecca they obvs cannot help for 2 reasons, 1) is she wants to do the grand unveil to gasps of horror delight, and 2) they will all be spending 2 days getting ready; hair apps, spray tans, botox, eyebrows shaved off and tattooed back on in a surprised and awed expression in preparation for the wedding. Natch!

No reply is probably best.

But if you have to - then now is the time to respond with the cryptic

Glad you understand. Maybe next time.

Your sister to be is quite twisted,
Bewildered, confused and hamfisted, to think that all was most true,
Maybe perhaps cos of the glue,
Perhaps she'd be happy to learn,
Most of mumsnet thinks she should burn,
But carry on surely,
The bride will certainly do, surely,
And you can rest on your laurels, demurely.

Dear Lord, it is rude enough to ask someone for a favour then try to guilt trip them into saying yes after they have said no several times, never mind having sent them a STD card and then not invite them to the wedding.

Are you sure the STD card didn't say wedding venue decorating lackey rather than wedding guest on it?!?!?

Gluesis seems to have picked her words very carefully. Note she says "she is still hoping you will reconsider", not "I am" or "we are". Looks like all the diplomatic genes went to one side of the family

All these emails have been very cleverly worded, from both Gluezilla and Gluesis, it's almost as if they are designed as communiques by a committee (perhaps explains the delays?). Even the latest is a sort of apology (maybe) but also bids a strong guilt trip.

The dignified, wise and mature thing to do would be to do nothing, but must say I'd be tempted to give her nose a tweak with something on the lines of:

Dear...

Sorry F. is upset, maybe she can see if some of those who are going to the wedding can help her out?

Good luck.

Cheap I know, but I would feel so much better

Your communique,it's true, was quite sweet,
But to fix this is still a huge feat,
Give in to the glue,
Take your seat at the pew,
And be glad that it's her and not you.

Don't reply ~ just leave them hanging. That'll really piss them off :)

Of course she's "stuck"...she's Gluezilla...! And float to bed.