TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

[TidyDancer]

Here you go!

It depends what you want out of this Tidy. Balloons response is good if you want some resolution. Be aware with this response it looks like you want 'the bride' to aplogise and then you may consider it. She may genuinely, or not, apologise and expect you to do it. So would you then consider it? You wold have emails going back and forth negotiating a compromise of apology for decoration services or somesuch other madness. She may get confused as to why you wanted her to say sorry but still didn't want to help her. In short it could get messy. For entertainment purposes that would be great for us, but not so good for you.

If this is not a resolution you want i wouldn't respond at all. You have made your position clear enough.

Koala, you're not wrong. How about Balloons response with an added 'I reiterate I cannot and will not reconsider.'?

F is "very upset "? This is just guilt tripping. I bet every other of the GlueFest has been planned within an inch of its life. Why on earth did she decide to leave the decorating of the venue to an ad hoc arrangement/assumption that someone would do it as a favour ?

Unfortunately she will offload her sloppiness about this onto you and make it your fault. I might yet feel inclined to reply with BalloonSlayers suggestion.

No don't reply. that is an outstanding resolution in itself, and I think to respond further (other than a 'thanks, see you' sort of reply) would be seen as you needing it to continue.

And it really doesn't need to!

Well done - you handled it brilliantly.

Also - they KNOW you aren't going to reconsider. They can't force you to, or take you to court over it - so further clarification is not necessary.

I'm thinking not relying might be best. Or if I did reply, something extremely bare and plain.

I don't want either of them to think there's any hope of me doing it ultimately!

Thanks again for all the support on this! :)

We've loved every minute Tidy - it's us wot should be thanking you, rightfully

I think no response is best. This way, the deluded ones who think you may actually change your mind and do this, are left wondering whether or not you will. When they don't hear from you, how long will it be before one of them GZ, or her sis, actually decide to re-open this and ask you again! Probably not the sis because she does seem to get what's been going on.

GZ has not apologised for hurting your feelings by not inviting you after her demand that you save that date. I mean what the fuck were you supposed to be saving the date for? Neither has she apologised for being so crass and rude as to ask you to do her decorations for the wedding she doesn't think you a close enough friend to invite to!

It will be interesting if she is so thick, and so insensitive and so bloody self centred that she actually request this again. Because she'll need to know whether or not you are agreeing to do this. If she doesn't get a move on her wedding will be undecorated.

No response stops you from having to be involved any further, and it remains to be seen whether GZ is finally able to take 'no' for an answer. (I suspect she's not, and that you'll hear from her with another plea)

After her behaviour, she at least needs to stew for a bit wondering who is going to be blowing up her balloons or whatever...

If i had to reply (not that i would), it would be along the lines below.

Dear Sister

Thanks for your reply.

It appears F is upset more because she has no one to decorate for her than because she has behaved rudely and upset me.

I am unsure why she was ever 'relying' on me to do this favour as it had never been agreed or even discussed between us.

I will not be reconsidering.

Tidy

Thank you for the best (3) threads ever!!! I'd be inclined to go with Renter's reply and shut them up..... Would love if you sent Balloon's though I can see that might just prolong things which in real life wouldn't be great.

OR

if you want it finished and don't want to hear from them again, a simple reply email back to the sis saying: 'Thanks. Let's say no more about it.'

Dear gluesister
I really won't be helping gluezilla with this. It's a shame that she is upset but she has brought this on herself with her rudeness and presumption. I am not interested in her wedding logistics but wish her all the best in her married life.
Best,
Tidy.

The ONLY way gluezilla was going to have a chance of tidy considering decorating was if the contents of the first email were...

Hi, really sorry that we were unable to invite you to our wedding after all.

We are looking for someone to help decorate the venue. As you are so artistic blah blah blah we wondered if you would consider helping. In reward for this we would like to invite you and your DH to the evening reception.

Still a bit crass but sets a warmer tone than "youre the only one that isn't invited and I assime you'll spend all day doing it.

This story ended with the first email from gluezillas point of view. From MNs pov it has been a wonderful trilogy.

Or, if you are tempted to reply :

Dear ,

Thank you for your diplomatic response. Let me make myself perfectly clear on this subject - I will not be decorating Glue's venue.

Tidy

AHA! So F is stuck, is she? That explains why F's sister sent you the first email that seemed to be just innocently wondering what had happened: F asked her sister to write to you and get a feel for how offended you are and then magically talk you into it somehow, b/c F is panicking about the decorating.

Therefore:

Dear F's Sister,

Thank you for your reply, you're very kind. It's unfortunate that F is stuck. Something always goes wrong with the planning of a wedding and I know it can be stressful. But again quite honestly I'm neither willing nor able to help with the decorating. Perhaps it would be best handled by a professional vendor. I wish her a very happy day.

Kind regards,
TD.

Marz i think the can may explode and there would be worms everywhere if that question was asked

You could say my favourite line i said to MIL once 'she is the architect of her own misery' :)

Gluesis seems to have picked her words very carefully. Note she says "she is still hoping you will reconsider", not "I am" or "we are". Looks like all the diplomatic genes went to one side of the family.

Agree that no reply is probably best, but if you want to remove all doubt:

"Thank you for your reply. No, not a chance of my reconsidering, I'm afraid. Hope it all goes well for you though."

Oh do send a reply featuring the words "architect of her own misery"!!!!

totally and selfishly loses sight of the fact that this might cause ructions

Marz? Maryz of course - apologies (i'm sure you are nothing like the rap-metaller) :)

Don't reply.

Leave it, there's nothing more to be said.

Agree, don't reply.

But if you are tempted, please no thanks for GlueSister's "understanding" or "kindness"!

You've done nothing that needs either!

I was thinking about how I was beginning to feel sorry for the bridezilla on the last thread. I do actually still feel sorry for her b/c I think she is in the throes of absolute panic and it must be miserable to be her right now. But she's still handling this so badly that it's become ridiculous -- MrsKoala's "architect of her own misery" is exactly right. Which is why I admire Tidy's civil and kind responses.

Stuck herself together with glue has she?

Either Ignore and Carry on Carrying on or

Reply " I will not be reconsidering , have a wonderful day . TD"

Why cant GSis do it?

If a job needs doing , Do as much as you can to get someone else to do it, even if it involves more effort than actually doing it yourself.

Another vote for don't reply - I'm still absolutely astounded with the nerve & sister loyalty or not, she shouldn't have mentioned her sisters upset at all. Your feelings are truly the only ones that count here.