TidyDancer's bridezilla thread part 3

[TidyDancer]

Here you go!

Ohh,I think she understands, but, at the same time she doesn't want to get attacked by Sniff Da Glue.

Perhaps GlueZilla was peeping over her shoulder, as she wrote the reply to you

"Thanks for your reply, and for understanding.
"Yours,
"Tidy"

HA! She wants you to consider because SHE is stuck. Not she sees where you are coming from and is upset because she may have upset you/ruined the friendship. No, she has no one to do it for her so is upset for herself. I can imagine in her head (and to all around) she is going over and over it and just can't see why you wont do it for her. She will never get it. After the wedding she still wont get it.

Don't answer. Just leave it at that. You have explained your position.

Even if you did reconsider she would still think you unreasonable to have stressed her out this much and would probably ditch you after the wedding.

Sister sounds like she's trying to get it sorted for her and being diplomatic.

I would leave it too (despite the fact we'll be slightly bereft without this thread... No? Just me then )

The only thing that would make me respond is how can she say she's 'stuck'? You never offered and have said 'no' all along. Why is she pretending she's been relying on you? Unless she is actually so monumentally deluded that she has just presumed you'd give in!!

She just wants to use you and doesn't see you as a friend. She sounds mad

I would put it to bed with chaz one liner. Although given how you've handled the other emails maybe something like:

Dear gluesister,
Thank you for your understanding.
I am sorry but it is just not possible for me to do this.
Please pass on my best wishes to F, but you may wish to impress upon her the need to look elsewhere for help.
Tidy

I'm glad you understand. Tell F I won't be reconsidering so she should seek professional quotes or help from some of the guests.

It's funny, I am not sure I get why other posters suggest saying its not possible. It's is possible, perhaps, but Tidy isn't going to do it because of the insult of not being invited. Even now I am not quite convinced that gluezilla understands this, though her sister might (can't tell). Isn't that the most important thing for gluezilla to grasp- that she screwed this whole thing up herself by taking tidy for granted and treating her so badly?

Crikey

"That's a very loyal and sisterly way of saying that she agrees with you but hopes that you will concede as her moaning sister is doing her head in." (I totally agree)

My choice would be to not reply.

Enough is finally enough.

I agree with Tidy. This is a definite nod to say she knows her sister is utterly bonkers, but loyalty prevents her from actually saying so. I would just back away now and leave them to it!

Yes I agree - the sister is clearly (but coded) saying "I completely understand you feeling that way, and don't blame you for it, but I can't say so as I have to deal with my DS moaning, have to at least pretend to be on her side, and have to be able to say that I asked you to reconsider" -

I don't think I would reply at all tbh, but if you do feel you want to reply then something like "Thanks for the reply. There is honestly zero chance of reconsidering so best to encourage GZ to look into professionals who can help if she doesn't have any close friends who she can ask."

beast
I don't think there is any value in trying to hammer home the point to Gluezilla. At least with a vague, its not possible answer, it doesn't give Gluezilla the option of saying Tidy is being petty &sulking and so ruining her day.

Gluezilla doesn't care about how upset Tidy is or how unreasonable she had been right now she is caught up in the red pink mist of wedding preparations.

Dear Sister

Thanks for your reply.

I am afraid I won't be re-considering.

I'll confess I am getting weary of hearing how "upset" Gluezilla is, when she has been very rude yet has not acknowledged this at all, let alone apologised.

However none of this is your fault, so I will not get you involved. You have been very kind in attempting to resolve matters, but I think this has gone far enough now.

With all the very best for the big day

Tidy

Agree beast, i have said all along i wouldn't be answering with 'not possible' 'other plans' 'childcare' 'inconvenient'. I would be saying i am 'unwilling' and leave it at that. No ambiguity, no if things were different. 'I am not doing it for no other reason than i don't want to - so shove that up your arse!'

GlueSister definitely agrees with you and sounds like a MNer to me but is avoiding slagging Gluezilla off completely. GlueSister does not expect Tidy to help but has told Gluezilla she will try just one last time.

I'm with Nadia and beast, with a few small amendments:

'Dear Loon's Sister
'Loon can't expect me to decorate a hall for a party she didn't invite me to. I explained this in my previous email.

Now fuck off
Best wishes for the wedding
Tidy'

I think don't respond at all...you've been clear already. Leave it at that IMO.

Oh, x-posted with Balloon and I LIKE that one!

Good lord, I bet there's no glue left in the British Isles! BARKING!

I agree that it may not be clear to them that you 'don't want' to decorate rather than 'can't ' - which might be why she's still trying to push you. Maybe she thinks it's just a matter of you re-arranging your day?

I like Balloon's too, but maybe this is the moment to step out of the madness and just make damn sure everybody who's going knows your version of events.

But I thought that OP couldn't decorate now anyway due to work/childcare-having unsaved the day when not invited!

Such frivolous details about other people's lives are unlikely to mean anything to Gluezilla at this point. I tend to agree only an "I don't want to decorate your poxy glue-ridden venue you barking thoughtless narcissist" will put a complete end to the communication, but then she's not going to be fair in the ensuing fight either so why give yourself the hassle?