To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

[nomorecrumbs]

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

Where's OP gone? Do you think she is still hoovering up those tiny nuggets of her husband's loveliness [boak]

My children used to have an elderly guinea-pig who struggled with his personal hygiene too - I used to help him out with a pair of scissors. Might this suggestion focus his mind a little OP?

According to DH they are called Chugnuts.

He doesn't have/leave them anywhere though thank gawd. He just finds the word funny, which is quite enough for me thanks

If he's walking around with shit round his ring for so long that it dries out and becomes crumby, is he not sore?

I've never seen a poo crumb and if I ever saw one from my DH or DS's I would LTBS in a hurry. Yuk yuk yuk.

This reminds me of the Embarrassing Bodies where Dr Christian went round a gym swabbing things to see how dirty it was, and one dirty cunt had faecal matter on the mouthpiece of his water bottle.

On a positive note, OP, you probably have a cast-iron constitution through being exposed to so many poo particles.

I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

Even of the OP is the poo troll, several other posters have admitted this is an issue for their husbands too :(
This shit is real man!

This is fucking classic! Lol!

Riffy, poo on water bottle.

This is what I come on MN for!

Classics please!

Ewwww, poo crumbs are definitely not normal! He needs to learn to wipe his arse properly, clean up his own mess and start having a shower before bed so you don't have to sleep with that muck in the bed.

There is no way in hell I would be sharing a bed with him, that's just rank

Can you smell them?

Crumbs update: there are zero crumbs and no hair on the seat, and lots of hair but no crumbs in bed I can live with that.

I haven't told DP about this thread yet. If I see a poo crumb in future, then I definitely will. Thanks for all your support xx

It sounds like he needs to use moist toilet tissue or get his ring waxed!

Thanks so much for the laughs nomorecrumbs. I have scrubbed our bathroom and do believe I may have discovered a few winnets. Worst of all their was a big glob of dried period caked on the underside of the waste pipe. How the fuck did that get there? I have deduced that I haven't wiped that pipe properly since we moved in ... 5 years ago so it must have been the previous owners filthy wife. Must have been

Thank you all for keeping me laughing this afternoon.
Brilliant!!!!!
(And totally minging by the way)

My ex could never wipe himself properly. After we'd had sex and I'd been on top, there were always skidmarks. And he used to shit after he'd showered, it's very hard to find a man like this fanciable...no wonder I bailed.

Hope you get it completely sorted OP.

don't know about poo crumbs but think I have pissed my panties a bit laughing at this thread.

My DH has no hairy bits really at all but I'll be in the lookout for poobarb crumble for sure.

Hemlet

poo crumbs and fanny dandruff = poobarb crumble and cuntstard

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Hemlet and Riffy. This thread has got me giddy as a kipper. Bet they don't get work of this calibre over at Nethuns.

wtaf????

just when i think ive heard it all... along comes a thread like this

Thanks for the offer of therapy SDT

I'm thinking that maybe we should organise a group session. There seem to be a few traumatised MNers knocking around. bet they still carry on reading though

Am just going off to bleach my brain............

I've got it OP, you're LeQueen, aren't you? Snanky MIL etc

skanky

Poo crumbs, fanny batter..my MN education continues..